Disagreement over number of groomsmen and bridesmaids

Dont worry about the photos. Who cares how many are in them.

i would be more concerned about your OH telling you who to have as your BM. So he chooses whoever he fancies and need to ask permission. Bit controlling?

Tell him he has to compromise or you'll ask a person you like. You don't need to tell him who. Do choose someone you're close to though. A friend and someone you hang out with. There's no need for you to have any more BMs but if you want one you should choose who you want without him butting in.

or suggest that some of his friends could be ushers? They won't be in all the photos then.

If there are two dads also in suits then there will be 8 of them. When you are dealing with the photos you could have one with them all with you and the bridesmaids, but then others dont need to have everyone on. It could be your OH and the lads for one and then just use the best man with your two bridesmaids without the rest of the lads. Apart from anything else, if you are hiring suits its going to cost quite a lot too.

My h2b also has a large, close group of male friends he grew up with. Originally he wanted 4 ushers + best man, and I was Ok with this as I had 4 BMs. I then "lost" 2 BMs (brother split with his partner so she & her daughter no longer in the wedding party). He nicely offered to reduce no. of ushers, but I didn't want him to. it reallly didn't matter to me if we "matched". However, he really wanted to pay for all of their suits, so when we totted all that up it would have come to over £700! that really wasn't feesible, so he's reduced down to 2 ushers now (luckily he hadn't asked them all yet).

Maybe you could suggest to your h2b that he have 2 best men and ask the other 4 to be ushers? Having groomsmen stood up at the front with you his an American tradition, not as common here. Ushers would still be in the same suits, but you wouldn't have to have them in all the bridal party photos. Instead, you could have a photo of him with all his mates, you and him with all his mates, and then you and him with the BMs + all the regular photos, then it wouldnt look uneven.

We had one best man, two ushers, one bm, two flower girls and two pageboys. Not even in the slightest but it didn't make any difference. The photos look fabulous and none of them look odd or uneven. Have the bms you want, not what you think you should have or who anyone else thinks you should have. It's not about looking good in the photos, it's about having people you love close to you.

Thanks all. I know the photos thing was silly but was still a worry, thanks for reassuring me it isn't a problem we will also be paying for their suit hire which I forgot to say was another note. Maybe when I get it all added up he will see how much it is costing us. As for asking his niece thing I've told him it's my choice and unfortunatly I quite want her in it. He thinks it will upset his other nieces and their mum's (his other sisters) but I think thdy won't care

My OH is having one best man, no ushers. He doesn't want everyone in matching suits. I'm having 5 bridesmaids and my two little nephews as page boys, they'll be the only two males in proper 'bridal party' style suits. We disagreed over this and I too was worried about how the pics would look, but it's his day as well and the pics are supposed to be for us right?! Why was I so worried?

It looks like we're having 3 best men, 3 groomsmen, my dad, 2 page boys, a flower girl and 5 bridesmaids!!