Anyone been to a wedding with no first dance?

I do think people tend to expect it, and I don't think I've been to a wedding without one.

However if you really want to avoid it why not speak to friends/family of yours who like to dance and make sure that when you do take the floor they are literally right behind you, so you're not dancing on your own?

Hi

I love dancing so it's not an issue with me, but OH half has two left feet and when he dances even slowly it's painful and clumsy to watch ! We are probably going to do a side step shuffle and halfway through the song the DJ is going to invite the other people in wedding party and the parents up, then immediately after we are having the Black Eyed Peas I've got a Feeling which is kind of the theme tune that gets all my friends up, so I am hoping that will get everyone up and start the dancing !!

Thanks guys.

We actually don't want to do anything, just want to avoid it and start the party. Not a hint of a one.

We both like dancing and D's always spinning me around the floor but he just doesn't like the forced nature of first dances. He wants our first dance to be fun and a bit private (i.e. cos we want to and we'll know it's the frist dance of the night as Mr & Mrs).

Have the dj say

ladies and gentlemen if you'd like to be up on the dancefloor for the first dance, in honour of mr and mrs geordie....

or something thereabouts, but i know that NO ONE gets up to dance till they've had a drink, no one likes being the first.....

why dont you have a dance with your bridesmaids, let groom mill about... the guests will then see your not having a first dance...

We are thinking about not having one aswel - we are both terrible dancers and i just think it will be soooo cringe worthy just shuffling around the dance floor!

I am going to get the DJ to say something like ' Shooey and Mr Shooey would like EVERYONE on the dance floor for their first dance'

Im thinking that way we will just blend in and it wont be so cringe worthy!

Yeah - something like that. Well, they'll all have been drinking all day so shouldn't be a problem! ? We're not having additional evening guests so hopefully everyone will just dance!!

My niece's wedding last year didn't really have one. Both her and her husband just don't "do" dancing so to get the party started the first dance was a novelty for everyone to join in with them. It was Oops Upside your Head - rowing on the floor! Ok - it may not have been to everyone's taste but it opened the evening reception for everyone.

Hey GB,

I went to a wedding a few years ago without a first dance but there was no announcement or anything, so people weren't really sure what to do when the music came on. In the end, I just skipped onto the dance floor and started the dancing to get the awkwardness over and done with. I think someone earlier suggested having an announcement to get everyone on the floor to celebrate - that's a really nice suggestion and will avoid confused and blank faces!

I think if your not going to do one you will need to ask your DJ to make it clear. We were running really late doing our first dance (MIl decided to go and let her dog out at 8pm so we had to wait for her to get back). The DJ had started playing music before then, but nobody danced (apart from a few little kids) because they were all waiting for the first dance.

I think if you announce it, and ask for evryone to join in or something that will be fine. We asked everyone to come up after about 15 seconds!

We don't want to have one either! but i think it'll be a fun tradition to do just for 10-20 seconds. we're going to choose a fun song and make sure my BMs and closest friends join in asap!! as long as you make sure your close friends etc come up with you guys after the announcement, then there will be no confusion about what the DJ meant! maybe he should avoid the words 'first dance' and just say 'mr and mrs GB would now like to welcome everyone to the dance floor'

xx

OK - so general consensus is that it's gonna be strange and expected.

SO, I think we'll tell the DJ our plans an he can announce the start of the evening and play a song to get everyone up ?

Thanks girlies!

I did one a while back with no first dance. It was a wedding whereby the guests were moved into the bar soo that the room could be prepared for the evening and a dance floor laid. When it was time to start, no one moved because there was nothing to move into the room for. The bride didn't want anything in its place and felt that the guests would move into the other room when they were ready. It was really tough to get things started.

I often have B+Gs who are reluctant dancers, so, as someone already suggested, get the DJ to get either the wedding party or all of the guests to join in a little way into the first dance. Before the start I walk round the trables to give out request slips and at the same time have a chat with guests to prime them that this is going to happen.....and it usually works really well.

We really do want to avoid any kind of staged first dance - even if for only 5 seconds.

We're in a different room for the evening and have no additional guests. The only bar they have is in the disco room so getting people in there won't be hard ?

I just want the disco to start and people to dance.

Maybe we'll just tell people we're not having one so no one expects it ?

I did not have a first dance as such as cannot stand them as a guest and myself and husband also don't like the 'staged' aspect of it. I also know my husband would have dreaded it all day and I did not want it to spoil the day.

We told people before that we were not having a first dance, it was not a problem and the dance floor was never empty (the drinks had been flowing all day!).

It was really nice actually having most people up on the dance floor from the off - it was great fun and myself and husband got to have our first dance as husband and wife without being stared at and without having to do the 'shuffle'.

My cousin also did not have a first dance and never informed anyone that there would not be one. Instead when the DJ started she roped in the bridesmaids, friends and some others to dance with her (she arranged this previously) and her husband did the same. Then they started dancing together. No one even noticed there had not been a first dance.

OH's sister didn't have a first dance at her wedding...and no one noticed. Her husband does NOT dance. The DJ just started playing music and everyone was dancing. It didn't seem weird and no mention was made of it either, so it's not expected.

Obviously I see a few weddings .. What worked well for one couple was they danced the first verse and chorus of the song and had all the bridesmaids / friends drag someone else up to dance after the first chorus of the song so by middway through the track the dance floor was full -- Dj was also encouraging others to come up and dance

tim

I've been to a wedding where the couple didn't have a first dance. There was nothing wrong with it because the music just played and the guests finally just got up themselves and danced. It was a little unclear what was going on though because the happy couple disappeared from the reception for ages and came back wearing jeans and T-shirts (!)

Hi

I've DJd a few weddings without a first dance and it's never been a problem. I would suggest that the DJ announces that the dancefloor is open and that you and your husband will join everyone on there when it's full. Hopefully that will encourage people to get up and you can slip on when it's busy!

Don't panic if your guests don't dance straight away (and don't get the DJ to pester them!) a combination of good music and a few drinks will soon get things going.

Good luck!

Thanks!

I guess as long as the DJ knows then we should be OK! I mean, they DJ at birthdays and what have you without first dances so can get he party started! ?

We shall be having "our" song as a last dance (just before last orders is called) so we can dance to that and then wave goodbye to everyone! ?

Hi GB,

My OH was best man at his best friends wedding last year and they did not have a first dance. There was no real awkardness and the dancefloor filled up quick because everyone knew an 'official first dance' wasn't happening and the bride just got up there with her bridesmaids and got the party started.

So as other's have said I would either tell everyone before the wedding that there is no first dance and/or get the DJ to announce that when the music starts that everyone is welcome on the dancefloor.

I think nowadays its not as expected to conform to all the wedding traditions so it's not weird at all.

x

I love first dances but at the same time I can see how it could be very very overwhelming especially if its not you...

Its your weddin lovely so you should do what suits you, maybe get the dj to anounce the first song as come on everybody on the dance floor, and pull everyone up?