This is my first time posting, I just don't seem to be getting anything from the people around me so I figured the internet is the place to go!
Bit of back story, my fiance is Tunisian so he'll be coming over on a visa that allows us to get married within the 6 months he's here. Kind of expected him to be here by now but the process is taking longer than I thought, not really anything I can do about that. Anyway he'll initially be here for 6 months from around October (maybe?) so we decided on getting married in January, so we can enjoy a few months as a married couple before he quite possibly has to go back.
We can't actually book anything until we know for definite that he's getting his visa approved (no reasons why he shouldn't) and have a date for him coming. I have provisionally booked 19th January (I've been very fussy trying to pick a date that I like the look of written down - 19/01/19) at the registry office and paid a £45 deposit, but that's all I can do so far. I've spoken to a reception venue, photographer, DJ and they available, but obviously I don't really want to pay more deposits when there is a chance it could all change. I've done a few things that I can do without the date set, got some table centrepieces, bought the bridesmaids dresses (more on that later), got my dress (Chi Chi London, bargain!), invitations from the Paperchase sale, all the little things that haven't cost me too much but could have done.
So my main issues are timings on the day. We're having a Town Hall wedding, and since the 19th is a Saturday the latest ceremony they will do is 12pm. If the evening reception starts at 7/7.30pm, that's a 7 hour gap to fill. I can't see the ceremony taking much longer than half an hour-45 minutes, so that's over by 12.45pm, photos - an hour? Say we're done by 2pm. I had initially wanted a small family meal, not exactly a wedding breakfast, more just close family and the wedding party at my favourite restaurant. I'm from a family of 6 and I know when we go there we don't often spend less than £150 between us, so I'd say probably looking at £500 for that. Can probably realistically only drag that out to 5pm, so there's still a 2 hour gap. I'm not bothered, I'll go have a nap, but one of the bridesmaids has said weddings with big gaps are ***...
I'm not expecting every guest to come to the Town Hall and then wait around for 7 hours til the reception. Most of my friends live here so they can go home and chill out, kids can have a rest, or don't even come to the ceremony I'm not fussed about that, if people want to come to it they can but the only people I'm really concerned about being there are my family and closest friends (I don't think any of his family will come over, he might have one friend who will obviously join us throughout the day).
Anyway now I'm at the point where I'm wondering if I should change the day to the Friday 18th (we're both born on 18ths so it's kind of a special date I could live with haha), having the ceremony at 4pm, skipping the family meal, saving 500 quid and going straight into the evening reception. This could pose a problem for some guests, including the bridesmaid mentioned above, who are teachers/TAs and won't finish work until 3.30pm if they leave as soon as the kids leave, and likely couldn't get time off during a term for a non family member wedding.
Also my fiance doesn't really like previously mentioned bridesmaid and doesn't want her having a role in our wedding. I can see where he's coming from because she has been quite negative about our relationship - saying we're rushing things, I don't really know him, we shouldn't get married, are you sure he's not using you blah blah blah. Obviously if he puts his foot down and says no way I am going to take his side, but I'm hoping that once they've actually met each other, he'll see that she was just trying to look out for her friend in her own way, and she'll see that we're genuinely very happy and love each other and we are ready to be married. I've got her a dress anyway, not 'blingy' enough for her, but at this point I don't care anymore. So we'll see how that goes.
So after that loooong ranty jumble of thoughts, I'm basically just looking for opinions.
Is the timeline for a Saturday wedding so awful that people are going to complain and call the whole day ***? There isn't really anything more I can do, I don't want giant games or a magician or anything like that. I'll be 30 by January, I'd love a little nap before the party.
Should I move it to the Friday, even if it affects some people being able to come?
I feel like I'm just trying to work it all out on my own. Fiance says he doesn't want to talk about it now and wait until he's here, don't think he realises how much there's going to be to do when he gets here and it's possibly only 3 months away. He tells me not to stress and "there's wedding planners for that" - alright you pay for a wedding planner then love, thanks! Absolutely no clue. Bridesmaids aren't really bothered. Maybe they're all just waiting until he is actually here and we have an official date, but it is a bit crap feeling like I'm on my own with everything.
Cheery first post from me!
