Disinviting Guests from the ceremony?

Call me heartless but I wouldn't invite her. If you've literally not spoken since you gave her the save the date a year ago I think it's fairly obvious she's not close enough to be part of your wedding. Just don't send her an invitation and if she gets in touch then explain yourself.

Just because you sent a save the date doesn't mean you have to invite her for the whole day. If you're uncomfortable with not inviting her at all then just send her an invite for the evening. If she questions it just say family had to take priority and you couldn't afford to have everyone at the wedding breakfast.

My H2B is from Scotland so we've prioritized his family and friends who have to travel for the wedding, which means I have the perfect excuse to only invite some of my family to the evening only. My family dynamics are very turbulent, and it would be a massive issue if we didn't invite them at all but I refuse to pay £82pp for people who barely speak to me.

Thanks for your responses. I am definitely swaying more to just inviting her to the evening do.

I think I just needed some re-assurance that this wasn't a completely awful thing to do.

x

Sorry to hear you've had a rough time with this person. I also have people on my guest list who are a bit tricky, so if they have already had a Save the Date I plan to just invite them to the eve reception. However, in my opinion you are not obliged to do anything! It's your wedding, so if you don't want her there then don't send out the full invite. I guess if I was in your position I would expect not inviting her at all would end the relationship, so I would only not invite her if I was OK with that. If I wanted to keep the friendship alive on any level it would be an evening invite. Good luck x

As you've already sent her a save the date, I would invite her to the evening only.

This should afford any confrontation as many people send save the dates to evening guests as well as day guests.

I wouldn't want someone I didn't particularly like anymore as a guest, but I am quickly learning about all the wedding politics!

I've been in a similar situation, fell out with one of the other halves "friend" as he thought he had a right to tell us how to spend our money. Didn't talk for over a year however saw each other at social events, I always tried to be civil "Hello, how are you?" but he wasn't having any of it. Anyway, almost a year later we fell out again but hugged it out. So I thought I'd be the bigger person and invite him and his partner to the evening do but just a few days after I thought we made up he went back to ignoring me. I like his partner, she's a lovely person however he isn't and I'm not having a guest at my wedding that makes my skin crawl!!

If she's no longer your friend it may be easier and kinder to not invite her at all. If you invite her to the evening only she might be more offended than if you just let the whole thing slip by without a word.

I am going through a similar thing. My childhood best friend was always down to be a bridesmaid, however now that my wedding is coming around I’m starting to have my doubts. I haven’t actually seen her in 18 months and looking back at previous text she hasn’t actually replied to a number of them. We haven’t fallen out as such but as I’m only having 50 people to our wedding breakfast I’m resistant to invite her.

I think I’ve come to the conclusion that only people that make an effort should come to the wedding breakfast, not people who you feel obliged to invite.

Hi it's definitely a tough one. But if you don't speak any more don't really get on I think it's fair game not to invite them. Only you can make a decision on this one, as it's between you and them, probably not what you want to hear I know!

Also another thought, are you having a church/civil wedding? I THINK (worth checking though) anyone can come to church wedding because a church is legally a place of sanctuary so, when churches are open they are open to everyone and they can't really kick them out (unless someone turns up abusive or drunk or something). Civil weddings aren't in a place of sanctuary so you can stop people coming more easily (I think that's true but as I said, worth checking)