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I-go-by-many-names
Super April 2015

Anyone for a dangerously long wedding report?

I-go-by-many-names, 16 of April of 2015 at 17:28 Posted on Planning 0 49

So, be warned, this is LONG. So much so I will post it in bits, with lots of obligatory flashes. This wedding features arrival of both bride and groom on a bike, an iconic venue in Newcastle, a Humanist ceremony, and a Japanese theme. Here goes...

Bit of background…

I met my husband at Durham University. He was in third year, I was a fresher. We met on my very first night out in a club we knew as Rixies. We chatted but nothing more. He doesn’t even remember this!

Fast forward two years later, we knew each other as acquaintances, the sort of person you stop to chat to if you walked past them in the street but no more. With him being two years ahead of me and with different friendship groups we never really saw much of each other. But it was the summer months, when Durham gets very quiet as all the students have gone home. I stayed in Durham as I was working at Next to earn some money and I didn’t really fancy going home as my parents were going through a divorce. I was walking back from work one day and bumped into my then future husband outside Waitrose. He was actually with his parents who were visiting for the weekend. We stopped to chat, and it turned out although he had just graduated from his 4 year course, he was staying in Durham to start his Phd. So of course, we made arrangements through facebook to do something together, as we were both pretty bored (again, there were no housemates or other students about). As our celebrant said in our wedding ceremony when telling the story of how we got together, there was nothing else better to do!

So he invited me to his place for dinner. It wasn’t explicitly a ‘date,’ just a meet up as friends. He cooked a stir fry which impressed me and made me think he was posh as it was quite exotic, I remember it had lychees in! After dinner we wandered into town and watched ‘Run, Fat Boy, Run’ at the cinema, which was pretty good. We discovered we shared a love of Simon Pegg. After the cinema we decided to go to the Lloyds bar nearby and have a few drinks. We couldn’t stop chatting, and ended up doing some Sambuca shots together, rather random. We then went to Loveshack, a club next door, and got even more drunk and danced lots. I remember wondering why we hadn’t been friends before as we were getting on very well indeed. We then walked back to his and listened to some music together, and ended up kissing on his sofa. This happened very naturally, neither of us made the first move, it just sort of happened. I then made the honourable suggestion that I should be getting home, and he walked me back. It must have been around 4am that he left as we chatted some more at my house and had a cup of tea I think. So although it was not intended to be a date, it kind of was, and then we kept seeing each other, for another 7 ½ years!

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Latest activity by Barnett2015, 29 of April of 2015 at 20:07
  • I-go-by-many-names
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    The engagement…

    Although our relationship wasn’t a typically romantic case of ‘love at first sight,’ I knew probably from about a year into our relationship that he was the one for me. We went to Venice on our first holiday abroad together and I just had the best time and had the most fun I had ever had with a boyfriend. One of my favourite memories from that first holiday was taking a plastic bottle filled with wine and two plastic cups to a little quiet spot down one of Venice’s tiny side streets. At the end of the street was a little jetty on the Grand Canal itself. It was so romantic. We sat with our legs dangling off the jetty and chatted and drank wine just the two of us. It was perfect.

    Here's us in 2008


    I waited very patiently for my proposal, and for a little while had started giving up on the idea of him proposing. I knew he felt the same about me and that he wanted to be with me long term, he has supported me through some very difficult challenges, most notably my mum’s illness. From being completely healthy, she developed a neurological condition in her late forties that seemed to come from nowhere and has never been diagnosed. It is also progressive. We know it is genetic but as the specialists haven’t found the genetic mutation it’s impossible to say whether it has been passed on to me or my brother or whether we are carriers etc. So the fact my OH is still with me despite these challenges, and watching helplessly as my mum deteriorates, I have known that he is committed to me. He has been my rock and I can’t imagine what my life would have been like without him these last 7+ years.

    Anyway, 6 years into our relationship, he was on a work trip to none other than Venice, the destination of our first romantic holiday together. I was working too back home but flew out to meet him at the weekend near the tail end of his trip and the plan was to spend a couple of days there before heading back to the UK together. On the second night, we decided to go for a wander after dinner. We went via our hotel, and picked up a plastic bottle of wine we had in the hotel room (I should probably explain, there are a couple of wine shops in Venice you can take empty plastic bottles to fill up with wine for about 2 euros, awesome). We were wandering and chatting, looking for a place to sit and drink our wine, when we came across a quiet little street with a jetty at the end of it off onto the Grand Canal. So we sat and poured some wine. My OH said ‘do you know, I think this is the same place we sat together when we were last in Venice.’ I knew what he was referring to, but wasn’t convinced. ‘No, this isn’t the same place, there are loads of places like this in Venice and they all look the same, it can’t be the exact same place.’ I wasn’t convinced until he found a photo on his phone of us sitting there 5 years previous, because we were alone we had to balance it very precariously on a post above the canal and set the timer. He zoomed in to that photo to look at the buildings in the background. ‘Look, that house has 5 windows and there’s that lamp post…’ Oh my God, it was the same place! Now, as obvious as it was, I seriously did not realise that he had planned this all along, and I discovered later that he in fact spent most of one of his days off looking for that exact place so he could take me there.

    Then after a while of chatting and drinking, came the moment when I suspected something, and my heart started beating so fast that I thought I might have a heart attack. He said he had a present for me, and reached into the inside pocket of his jacket. I thought ‘this could be it,’ but because I had waited so long for a proposal, I still wasn’t convinced until I opened the box and saw a ring. It was made of Murano glass, from Venice, it turned out he wanted me to choose a ring or for us to choose one together, so this was just his ‘prop.’ His exact words were ‘would you like to get married?’ It was perfect. He wasn’t down on one knee, he hadn’t asked my dad. It was exactly as I would have planned it myself.

    Here's us in the same spot as the previous flash but in 2013. Very dark I know, but it's the best one we have!


    We got a more official ring, and we were engaged for about 5 months before setting a date of August 2016. However, at a friend’s wedding last summer, where the groom had the room in tears as he included a tribute to his late mum in his groom’s speech, my OH suggested the idea of moving our wedding forward. My mum was deteriorating pretty quickly, and he said he didn’t want to include tributes in his speech about my mum, he wanted her to be at the wedding. I was so touched, and whole heartedly agreed. Luckily our venue had the perfect date free, Good Friday, 3rd April 2015. And so we proceeded to plan our wedding in 7 months rather than 2 ½ years. Our inspiration for the wedding was Japan, somewhere we have both dreamed of visiting, and where we had decided to go on honeymoon. Although we realised that when we moved the wedding forward by 18 months we probably couldn’t afford to go! So we are going for our first anniversary instead. We wanted a wedding that reflected us and our personalities. We go to so many weddings (6 in 2014 for example!) and it gets kind of boring if the couple just does stuff they see in magazines and go for the same themes. So we were determined to put our stamp on things and not bore our guests!

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  • Mrs.K2b
    Beginner August 2015
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    Keep it coming!!! Loving it so far.....!

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  • MrsB88
    Beginner August 2015
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    Moreeeeee

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  • MrsShep
    Beginner September 2014
    MrsShep ·
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    Argh, I tried not to comment while you did the next bit but eeee!! More!!

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  • jen-lou
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    YAY....but where's the res ? te he he

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  • S
    Beginner December 2016
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    We want more Smiley smile xxx

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  • I-go-by-many-names
    Super April 2015
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    The day before...


    Thursday 2nd April. As we had planned a Humanist wedding in Newcastle, this was the day we had planned to do the legal bit at Gateshead civic centre, parents only, and my brother, as we would need him to get my mum there. Unfortunately my mum's carers were late getting her ready in the morning so I had to call and try to get the time changed, otherwise she would miss it. Luckily the registrar was happy to put back the ceremony by half an hour. We arrived in jeans, I was wearing no makeup, and we wanted it to be very casual so as not to detract from our main wedding day.
    The registrar was a lady who is clearly very proud of her job and takes each ceremony seriously, so it was more formal than we ideally wanted (and also a reason we opted for a more informal, humanist wedding). Dad and I mocked this a little by jokingly walking down the aisle arm in arm and insisting everyone stood up. I hope the registrar wasn't too offended by how laid back we were. When it was all over I said I didn't want any photos but she practically forced us to. I'm very happy that they allowed my mum to sign as a witness with a stamp of her signature that we had made especially for her as due to her illness she can no longer write.
    Afterwards we and a few helpers went across to our venue, BALTIC Centre for Contemporary Art, to decorate the Riverside Terrace room for the ‘real’ wedding ceremony. We met with the wedding manager and went through a couple of details, and then went to our hotel, a 2 minute walk down the Quayside, to check in. Unfortunately, although we had booked a superior room, it wasn't much bigger than the standard rooms they had, so I went to the desk to see if they would move us. Luckily they obliged and gave us a family room which was huge and had plenty of room to get ready in on the morning of the wedding and huge windows to allow lots of natural light for Michele my hair and makeup lady (she was very pleased about this!)
    We then rounded up key people and walked the few minutes back to BALTIC to run through a quick rehearsal of the ceremony. We met our celebrant, Val, and she took us through a basic version of the ceremony and showed our usherette (OH’s best mate from school) and chief BM (my best mate from school) how to do the ribbons for the hand fasting. When this was over we went back to the hotel and had quite a chilled evening. We had an informal meal in the hotel restaurant with a few of OH’s family who were staying in the hotel and we must have gone up to our room around 11pm. I washed, dried and straightened my hair in accordance with Michele the hair and makeup lady's request and painted my toenails in my chief BM’s room. Myself and my OH went to bed together no later than midnight.

    Here is a flash of us at the rehearsal


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  • BubbleBees
    Beginner August 2015
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    What a lovely start! Keep it coming!

    Additionally lovely too hear from a Durham couple! Smiley smile

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  • I-go-by-many-names
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    Our wedding day


    We both slept very well until 3am when I was rudely awoken by a familiar tingle on my bottom lip, and my heart sank. Cold sores. I suffer from them fairly frequently but hadn't got one for a good few weeks, must have been the excitement. From 3 until we got up around 6.30 I couldn’t sleep well at all. I was worrying about my cold sores and kept reapplying the Zovirax that I had on my bedside table. By the morning I had a blister underneath by bottom lip, one round the side of one of one of my nostrils and another one emerging on my top lip. Sod's law, but I tried to remain positive as of course I was buzzing with happiness and excitement that it was finally our wedding day. It was also very miserable outside and rained consistently until around 5 that afternoon, but again we remained positive and were too happy to care. I remember saying when we eventually got up that it felt like Christmas when you’re a little kid. My OH, joking, said ‘shall we check to see if Father Christmas has visited?’

    We decided to do each other’s presents before it got too manic to do it properly. I received mine first. No card (I knew he wouldn't, he doesn't do cards,) but the most amazing gifts. He had ordered me a bespoke wooden keepsake box with an engraved sketch of BALTIC on the lid, along with our names and wedding date.


    I also got a silver necklace with a pendant that looks like an origami swan. He asked me if I knew why a swan is significant and I said I didn't. He then told me that they mate for life, which is about the most romantic thing he has ever said, but then closely followed by 'I could have got you a crab.' I then gave my OH his gifts- a kind of scrapbook of memories/anecdotes and private jokes along with photos of us, tickets from gigs and films we've been to see together, even the train ticket from when I first travelled to Essex to properly meet his parents. I’m a bit of a hoarder and keep all those sentimental things so I found it fairly easy, though pretty time consuming. The other gifts were a USB stick with my boudoir photos and a presentation book with 3 prints from the shoot with me in my bridal underwear. I wasn’t sure how he would react to the boudoir shoot, I think I did it mainly for the experience than for him to be honest, as I have lost weight and needed a bit of a confidence boost. But he seemed to like them. He was quite giggly and tried to get a bit frisky but we didn't have time for any pre wedding antics! It was time to get ready.

    There was a knock at the door just before 7:30am, my CBM had arrived as planned. She was closely followed by Michele my hair and makeup lady and two assistants, and then my other BM, OH’s sister. The rest of the morning was very chilled. My OH went to get us some breakfast from downstairs, and was coming to and from his brother’s room, he was our best man, finishing and printing his speech, then finally disappeared with his suit and shoes around 10am to go and get ready in his brother’s room. Our usherette came to our room just before 9am, and Dan (VOG) with his assistant arrived around 9am. Jamie (TOG) came around 9.30am. OH’s sis and brother had got some breakfast bits from Tesco the day before as well as some prosecco, which was appreciated, so we grazed on this and the stuff my OH had got from downstairs in the hotel. Our hair and makeup was amazing, I especially loved my hair and my CBM's hair. Michele also did OH’s sister’s wife’s hair while we waited for my mum to arrive and get hers done. We hadn't paid her to do this so that was very nice of her. At some point my OH’s cousin came up with my bouquet which was lovely. We asked her to make it as she is a florist. These were the only real flowers we had at the wedding and had orchids and cala lillies to try to incorporate a bit of Japan. Then before I knew it, it was time to get into my dress.

    My CBM and my hair and MU lady helped me get into my dress after I fiddled with my underwear to make sure it wouldn't show. There was a lot of body tape involved and I remember my MIL also being there at one stage as I was standing in my underwear! Once I had my dress on, various people came in to see me including my mum who arrived a little later than scheduled, but I was glad to see her (though it became obvious pretty quickly that my brother had left her fascinator at home!) My mum cried when she saw me which set me off a bit, this wouldn't be the first or last time I got emotional on our wedding day! Then my dad came in, and again I had to fight back the tears. I asked Jamie our TOG to get a shot of his reaction. We hugged and he showed me his waistcoat and pocket square that he had made especially for the day, complete with the bonsai tree logo I had designed for our invitations. He had been planning this as a surprise and although he got the colour wrong I was very touched. At this point we were running a little late, Michele promptly started on my mum's hair and makeup, while the TOG went to fetch my OH for our 'first look' photo. Although we were getting ready separately, we planned to arrive to the ceremony together on a bakfiets (Dutch cargo bike) which we were borrowing from a friend of a friend. This was OH’s idea as he is a cycling campaigner.

    My dad coming to see me all bridey


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  • I-go-by-many-names
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    Our TOG and VOG decided to bring my OH up in the hotel lift for our ‘first look’ at each other, and have me wait round the corner. I was very nervous at this point, but couldn't wait to see my OH and his fancy suit which was made bespoke and cost double the price of my dress! I was not disappointed, he looked amazing, told me I was beautiful, and we hugged. I'm not sure whether the TOG and VOG were expecting anything more dramatic, but that's not really my OH’s style.

    Me waiting for my OH and our 'first look' photo



    And then the big decision came about whether to ride the bakfiets. We had stored it at the Cycle Hub in Newcastle, about a 5 minute cycle from BALTIC, and all outdoors. The plan was for Dad to drive us round to pick it up, then he would drive back to BALTIC and we would cycle the 5 min route, then across the Millenium Bridge. I remember us saying at this point in the day 'we just have to go for it,' despite my dad and others trying to dissuade us. 'It's too wet,' which it was, but how could we not do it? So down in the lift we went- my OH, me, Dad, Dan the VOG, Jamie the TOG. I left OH’s sister our room key and said my goodbyes and thank yous to Michele, who was going to finish getting my mum ready in our room. We went down in the lift, saw a couple of guests on our way out, and I waved at them as I climbed into Dad's car whilst he tried to shield me from all the rain with a huge golf umbrella. We drove to the Cycle Hub, hoping all the way that it would stop bloody raining for just 5 mins! But of course it didn't. We also realised in the car that we had forgotten about the buttonholes completely. I had made them out of paper, origami to fit our Japanese theme. This wasn't a huge problem for most but my OH wasn't wearing one and obviously didn't have a chance to go back so we rang my brother and asked him to sort it out and to get one ready for my OH when we arrived at BALTIC.

    We got to the Cycle Hub, a bike café, there were a few soggy looking cyclists having cups of tea in there and stared at us somewhat, probably wondering what we were doing! Then as we were waiting for our VOG to fix his GoPro onto the bike, Cindy Lauper's 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' came on the radio in the café, which is sort of mine and Dad's song due to the line 'oh daddy dear you know you're still number one' getting him choked up (he’s such a softy). We had a father-daughter moment of, ' this is special.' then into the front of the bakfiets I climbed. Dad tried to protect my dress with some of those transparent ponchos you wear on water rides that he found in OH’s parents’ car, which actually worked pretty well. I also had my parasol, which was surprisingly waterproof and did a good job of shielding my hair and MU from all the rain. My OH had nothing! Those few minutes whilst we waited for Dad to take our TOG and VOG back round to BALTIC seemed like forever. Then we got the phone call from OH’s brother that it was OK to make our way there.

    It was freezing cold, it was tipping it down, but it was so much fun! I'll never forget the moment that we approached BALTIC and heard all our guests screaming and whooping for us out on the decking area of the Riverside Terrace where they had come out to get a better look. We had set the room up so they were sitting facing the river waiting for the ceremony to start. The room is all glass down the side so they had a very good view of us cycling along and across the Millenium Bridge. My OH did a very good job of negotiating pedestrians and the bridge itself, which is quite narrow. Our TOG and VOG had come out onto the bridge to get some good shots of us riding across, and it made us feel famous! Our guests were cheering very loudly as we approached, it was so fun and I'm so glad we did it despite how wet it was.

    This is us on the bakfiets riding across the millenium bridge, then arriving at BALTIC



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  • I-go-by-many-names
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    The next few minutes or so we spent locking up the bike and trying to dry off my OH as he looked absolutely drenched, but didn't seem to care. My dad gave me his hanky and I was dabbing at my OH’s very expensive suit, but surprisingly it was ok and pretty water resistant. Our two BMs, OH’s mum and my dad came down to join us for our more formal entrance into the ceremony room. We went up in the lift and congregated at the back of the room behind a screen. Val, our celebrant, was doing her pre wedding spiel about turning phones off etc. it was pretty nerve wracking. Then the very long musical introduction started to Stone Roses' 'Ten Storey Love Song.’ As the vocals started, I gave the BMs the nod to start off walking down the aisle. They both went together, arm in arm, then went my OH and his mum, and finally me and Dad. This was our compromise- I didn’t want to be ‘given away,’ yet I felt harsh denying my dad the opportunity to walk his only daughter down the aisle. In the rehearsal I found this quite emotional and hard to keep things together, but in the real thing all I could do was smile as we walked down the aisle. I felt like my face would split. It was so lovely seeing all our guests look back at us. When I got to the end of the aisle Dad kissed me on the cheek and went from standing to my left to sitting with my stepmum who was on the right of the aisle. Dad obviously found this quite difficult as he stood on my dress! I was adamant he wasn’t 'giving me away,' so there was no shaking my OH’s hand or passing my hand to his. We sat down and the ceremony began.
    I remember sitting hand in hand with my OH facing our guests and not really listening to what the celebrant was saying. It didn't matter as I knew the script pretty well as many parts were written by us. We stood up quite early on to sing UB40’s 'I Can't Help Falling in Love With You.' We chose communal singing as a way to help everyone relax and it worked better than we could have hoped. My uncles especially enjoyed it. As Sunderland football fans, they sing this song at the Stadium of Light on match days, though a different version. We chose the UB40 version as it is more upbeat than the older versions and they are also my mum’s favourite band. During the singing my FIL turned round and jokingly tried to 'conduct' and encourage people to sing, which wasn't really necessary and a bit embarrassing but also funny. I loved this part of the ceremony, it was so much fun and we even had a little dance.

    Here's us at the start of the singing


    After this, OH’s sister’s wife did her reading perfectly, we chose the one from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, as it speaks of blossoms falling away and roots growing towards each other, which seemed to fit our relationship and our theme perfectly (we had cherry blossom branches as decorations and bonsai trees everywhere). I started getting a little choked up towards the end of the reading. This was due to the reading itself, which is beautiful, but also because I knew the serious bit was coming!

    We did a hand fasting, and this involved my CBM and our usherette wrapping ribbons around our hands. This is also when we said our vows, which we had written together. I tried to say them loudly so everyone could hear, and to look at my OH as I said them, but I'm not sure I managed it too well. We started off with more trivial ones like ‘I promise to get you water when we’ve had too much wine,’ to more serious ones. After I promised to ‘support him when life is hard,’ I started shaking and getting flustered and teary, but after pausing for a few moments to compose myself, I finished them. I also got through the exchanging of rings pretty well. Our first kiss was very brief as I didn’t want to spread my cold sores! We then did a very quick signing of the certificate. This was a mock up of signing the register, only we signed a certificate from the British Humanist Association. Again my mum ‘signed’ with her stamp. This was actually a very quick part of the ceremony, I don't think we even got halfway through Madness' 'Wings of a Dove,' and there certainly wasn't time for the second song we had chosen, Moloko's 'The Time is Now.' Val then announced that we were leaving as a married couple, we walked down the aisle together and the plan was to lead everyone out for a photo in BALTIC square. The Cure's 'Friday I'm in Love' played as we walked out.

    Here's a flash of the handfasting part


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  • I-go-by-many-names
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    We then got a little confused as to what to do so we asked the TOG if we were still doing a confetti shot and where best to do it as it was still raining so this ruled out BALTIC square. He asked us to go back up to where our guests were and instead go out onto the decking area where there was a little sheltered space. At this point one of our guests, a Chinese friend, told us he was leaving and not coming back later. There was confusion about whether he was coming as we had invited his wife too but not his 4 year old daughter and I don’t think they could get a babysitter. I think he was a little baffled by western weddings and probably didn’t see it was rude to just leave after the ceremony, so we said our goodbyes to him. Luckily this meant we could ‘upgrade’ the recently acquired boyfriend of another friend so he could join us for the meal. We did the confetti shot and then sent most guests up to the restaurant, SIX, which is on the sixth floor of BALTIC (unsurprisingly) where we were having the meal, for their reception drink. We kept the important people with us for some family shots, which I didn't really want to be as staged but it's just the way it worked out, and at the time I didn't mind at all. We then went up to join the other guests on the sixth floor. I was relieved to see the staff had set the room for the meal exactly as we wanted.

    Here's our confetti shot


    We were then announced into the room as 'the bride and groom,' and walked to our seats as everyone cheered. I stayed standing somewhat awkwardly, I hadn't realised people were waiting for us to sit down so they could follow suit, but I knew I would be going straight into my speech, so I sort of hovered. I was handed a microphone and did my speech first. I wasn't nervous really, my jokes went down well, and I managed to get through most of it without crying, until the last part where I thanked my OH for everything he has done for me. As my voice went a bit wobbly he stood up to kiss me and the whole room started encouraging me to continue, so I managed to say the last bit. I then toasted 'to the groom,' and handed over to Dad. His speech was funny, emotional and very touching. He did an excellent job. He ended with thanking my mum for helping raise me which had the whole room in tears. I tried not to look at my mum as I knew she was crying and knew it would make me worse. Next came OH’s dad, who didn't want to speak at OH sister’s wedding in October as he said he was too nervous, but then asked us if he could speak at ours (I think he regretted not doing a FOTB speech at the other wedding). His speech was mostly about me! Then OH’s turn, his was also awesome, and funny. He said something about being an empiricist, but that he didn’t need proof of his love for me, which is the best I could have hoped for from a scientist! OH’s brother and sister then did a joint speech in place of the traditional best man speech, complete with props, which was also very funny, and they did brilliantly. We were very pleased with how the speeches went. I wish I could remember half of them, I think we will be asking everyone for their copies as I felt that I instantly forgot a lot of what was said. Despite the fact there were 5 speeches they lasted no longer than half an hour.

    This is me doing my speech


    Then came the food, and everything was superb, as we knew it would be. We hadn't planned to, but between courses it became our mission to talk to everyone at the meal. There was one table I didn't manage to see, but luckily my OH had seen them so I didn't feel so bad and did speak to them later too. My granda gave me a photo of my mum at the end of the meal. She was 18 when the picture was taken. He said he carried it in his wallet but wanted to give it to me. Unfortunately as my CBM was looking after my bag, I left it on the table! I did retrieve it later though.

    There was a break in the rain so a member of staff got on the microphone and asked if everyone would meet in BALTIC square in 5 mins for a group photo, as we still didn’t have a whole group shot. After the group shot, I realised we were running late and asked my mum’s carer if everything was ok for getting her home. Luckily she had called and rearranged the care calls around my mum. I think time ran away with us a bit and my mum was having a good time. But it really was time for her to leave and she must have been shattered. I’m so glad she lasted for all that time, but we all knew and had planned for her not to attend the evening celebrations. Before she left I gave her my bouquet which she was really chuffed about and kissed her goodbye. Whilst everyone chilled out in the bar, went back to rooms, explored, etc, OH and I did our couple shots together. It was pretty gloomy but I think we managed some good shots, mainly inside. After this it was time to get the party started for the evening.

    Here's some of the arty coupley shots





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  • I-go-by-many-names
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    My OH and his brother did an excellent job of rigging up the speakers on the bakfiets as a sort of DJ stand. It not only looked good but meant we didn't have the risk of guests trying to climb on it and maybe damage it. No one danced before the first dance which we sort of expected. I had around 15 mins or so with my uni friends, who I had not managed to see much during the day, and they surprised me with a book they had made for me with messages, photos and anecdotes. This was based around the theme of the ten commandments, (I’m an atheist but also an RE teacher and studied Theology at uni so religious things are kind of a running joke!) It had rules such as ‘thou shalt always be gorgeous,’ with some very unattractive pictures of me at uni. This was extremely thoughtful and probably my favourite gift. We had a good laugh at some of the pictures. The room for the evening again looked great and was pretty much as we asked. The sweet table went down very well, which we decided to do instead of favours, as did the fingerprint tree. Although the next day we noticed some idiot had graffitied on it. I suspect this was some members of the public who had managed to sneak in at one point, causing my aunt to throw them out. Although we had security on the front door, there were also two other ways into the room. This was the only negative about our day.

    At around 8pm I got my CBM to bustle up my dress, I got on the mic and thanked our evening guests for joining us and announced that we would be doing the first dance and cutting of the cake. The cake cutting was quite chaotic, there were lots of people who seemed to think this was really important and we were bombarded with people trying to get a photo of us cutting it. The first dance itself was a bit underwhelming. We wanted to practice but just didn't get the time and ended up doing a rubbish shuffle which we didn't really want. I did mix it up a little with some twirls and things but we mostly shuffled. The song was Florence and the Machine 'You've Got the Love,' which I had mainly chosen due to the lyrics about supporting and needing each other.

    First dance shot


    Following that were some more tunes to dance to, although the dance floor wasn't that busy for that first hour, until...
    The band, The Baghdaddies. Recommended by a friend of my OH, they were without doubt one of the highlights of the day. They were a bit of a risk, as they don't really do many weddings and are a band in their own right. They play a very eclectic range of their own music, all very danceable and fun, but we thought there would be a few guests who would turn their noses up as they are a bit unorthodox. I remember describing the genre to one of the guests as 'Geordie World Music.' They play ska, Latin and Balkanese inspired songs in Geordie accents. However we had nothing to worry about at all. They began their first set by circling me and my OH and playing a range of musical instruments, including a massive sousaphone, 'at' us, that's the only way I can really describe it. It turned into a bit of a spectacle and everyone came forward to watch, it was kind of a second first dance.

    The band and us


    Then, unexpectedly, they thrust a trumpet into my OH’s hand and told him to play (he made the mistake of telling them as he chatted to them at the bar before they started that he could play the trumpet amongst other instruments). My OH did incredibly well considering he doesn’t play much anymore and it was such good fun, our guests were in awe. I'm so glad the TOG and VOG caught this before they left about 20 mins into the band's set.

    My OH joining in on the trumpet


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  • I-go-by-many-names
    Super April 2015
    I-go-by-many-names ·
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    The band then completed their first set before a break and our food came out, bacon and sausage sandwiches. The staff also served our wedding cake up for people to help themselves to. My friend had made this and it consisted of a chocolate tier, a lemon and a carrot cake. The carrot cake was left uncut as there was more than enough with the other flavours, both of which were delicious.

    The band then played another set of 45 mins. At the end of their set they instructed our guests to stand around me and my OH in a circle and 'flick' happiness at us for the rest of the song. We had a little boogie in the middle of the circle. This was also really good fun. My dress didn't stay bustled up as the button kept coming undone so I mostly just held up my train in my hand and was swooshing it as I danced. The dress was filthy by the end of the night, I had red wine, general muck off the floor and blood on it from where I cut my ankle (how I did this remains a mystery!) The rest of the evening consisted of some good old cheese music followed by drum and bass and 90s club classics which went down very well with my uni friends and the hardcore that stayed until the end.

    Last orders were called at 1.45am and we all ran to the bar to get jäger bombs and more wine! The staff were very patient but clearly wanted us to leave well before we actually did. Walking back to the hotel with our card box, dress filthy, and singing at the tops of our voices was a very special, drunken moment. I had hardly anything to drink during the day, just the Prosecco in the hotel room getting ready, and maybe one glass of prosecco at the meal, but I more than made up for it between around 11 and 2! When we got back to the hotel we had more drinks and made friends with an Irish stag party in the hotel bar. The stag was telling me about a diamond dealer he had gone to for his fiancées ring, and insisted I saved the number into my phone before we went up to bed. I also tried on his aviators, they seemed to have a top gun type fancy dress theme. And after that randomness, that was it, bed time! We had so much fun and I wouldn't have changed a thing. Truly the happiest day of our lives.

    Here's our 'survivor's photo'


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  • I-go-by-many-names
    Super April 2015
    I-go-by-many-names ·
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    For anyone wondering how we did the Japanese theme, here's a few more flashes.

    My parasol, and I also got my makeup and hair done whilst wearing my lovely Ted baker kimono dressing gown.


    Origami buttonholes


    Cherry blossoms and origami hearts (you maybe can't see but I'm hanging them off the silver tree)


    We also had an origami making table, mainly for kids but adults enjoyed it more


    You may be able to see the window stickers, this was the bonsai tree motif that I drew myself and was on all our stationery etc.


    Ceremony room- we had paper lanterns in our wedding colours, a Japanese traditional tea set on the table as you came in, bonsai tree on the signing table...


    And more bonsai trees on the tables for the meal on bamboo mats. My MIL made the navy blue table runners. Notice the little fans as place cards. Our BMs also had fans instead of bouquets but I can't find a photo of those at the moment.


    Credit due to Jamie Penfold, our amazing TOG.

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  • S
    Beginner December 2016
    sarah121 ·
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    Amazing, brought a tear to my eye! What a fantastic report, so glad you had an amazing day xxx

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  • jen-lou
    Super July 2016
    jen-lou ·
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    AMAZING!!! Your photos are stunning, love the survivor photo Smiley smile

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  • MsCoffeeCrazy
    Beginner July 2015
    MsCoffeeCrazy ·
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    Beautiful wedding and it's always nice to see a report from a Northern bride, especially one that's getting/got married in the same city as I will be in a couple of months! Congratulations!

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  • Mrs.K2b
    Beginner August 2015
    Mrs.K2b ·
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    WOW WOW WOW!!!!! stunning wedding, stunning bride and stunning report!!! Just gorgeous, well done you and congratulations!

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  • Asmurfette
    Beginner September 2015
    Asmurfette ·
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    Amazing report ... congrats Smiley smile

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  • MrsShep
    Beginner September 2014
    MrsShep ·
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    Oh, the photos and the words are absolutely beautiful! congratulations on what looked like a truly perfect day, everyone and everything looked gorgeous and it was so lovely to read about your day. Considering you brought it forward by well over a year it all looks incredibly polished!

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  • Lapland2015
    Beginner December 2015
    Lapland2015 ·
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    You looked stunning! I love the entrance on the bakfiets!! It looks like an amazing day and your pics are lovely. Congratulations!

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  • M
    Beginner October 2015
    MrsWatkinsToBe ·
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    Wonderful report. Sounds and looks like you had a fabulous day.

    Thank you for sharing it with us x

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  • rockinred40
    Beginner September 2016
    rockinred40 ·
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    Amazing, stunning gorgeous photos dress and so happy that your mom was there to share it with you both. I had tears in my eyes for the whole report, so beautiful and so touching at the same time

    Congratulation and best wishes for the future xxx

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  • Karen84
    Beginner July 2016
    Karen84 ·
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    Congratulations again, such a beautiful report and pictures. All brought a tear to my eye.

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  • LittleMissPanda
    Beginner October 2015
    LittleMissPanda ·
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    Beautiful photos and a really lovely report Smiley smile
    x

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  • laurafish
    Beginner July 2016
    laurafish ·
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    IGBMN, what an absolutely beautiful report. I've been looking forward to seeing how your day came together and it has blown me away. Emotional in parts and just generally a great report of what looks like an amazing day. So glad your mum was able to enjoy it with you, you totally did the right thing in changing your date, even though you're still a 2016 bride to some of us Smiley winking

    Congratulations! Smiley smile

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  • CBeckford
    Rockstar July 2015
    CBeckford ·
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    Brilliant report! Congratualtions again!

    x

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  • L
    Beginner October 2014
    LalaC1988 ·
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    Just simply beautiful :-)

    for some reason the photo of your dads first look brought tears to me that was one of my favourite parts of my day too

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  • pinkypoo85
    Beginner August 2016
    pinkypoo85 ·
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    My former date twin! Just WOW!!! I loved reading this sat with a cup of tea it has made me smile and also brought tears to my eyes! Such a lovely story and a beautiful wedding! You looked stunning and your dress was beautiful! simply perfect! Congratulations to you both! xxx

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  • AnnaMolly
    Beginner October 2015
    AnnaMolly ·
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    I loved your report! Your wedding was absolutely beautiful.

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  • *J9*
    VIP March 2014
    *J9* ·
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    Beautiful report and pics. Love the one where your dad sees you for first time. My tog missed that part and I'm gutted.

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