Hi girls, this is my first post on this website, but I feel I need to get some things of my chest. 5 weeks ago my father passed away and then on new years day my oh proposed. As much as I am excited understandably I am still grieving so I am all over the place really. Part of me thought that throwing myself into planning a wedding would take my mind of everything but to be honest it's causing me nothing but stress. I have four amazing friends, two of them are my best friends, anyways I always thought that I would have them as my maid of honours but the last week or so one of them just hasn't really bothered even though she knows what a tough time I am going through grieving. Part of me then thought maybe I will just have the other one because she has always been there but I know if I choose her then the other one will be really upset because she has been there for me in the past quite a bit. Then I thought to myself maybe I just won't have one at all because I can't be bothered with the stress of it all and just have my cousin as bridesmaid, ask the mate that's been there for me to read something out for me in my service and ask all the four girls I am mates with to plan my hen do but when I kind of hinted to my friend she kind of went of a bit saying she doesn't mind, she would be honoured to read something out but I should have a maid of honour and choose a mate that has always been there (ie: her) so then I have spent all night thinking about it. To be honest I am starting to dread my wedding because of this but I don't know if it's stressing me out more purely because I am grieving and not in a good place I am getting to a point where I don't care about making any plans because I don't want any more stress. Sorry for the rant I just wanted to talk to people outside of my family and friends.
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