Children and money

I wouldnt worry, you will manage! For most people there is never a good time ot have children, but they do, and cope. We worried about this but i thought, if the Jeremy Kyle types can pop them out and manage so will we!

I pondered this for such a long time and everyone kept saying not to worry that things have a way of working themselves out. I'm 27 weeks pregnant and things are indeed working out. I'll have to go back to work full time but i think I can afford to have the full 12 months mat Leave now. I thought I could only afford a maximum of 5 months at first.

If you wait until you can afford a family, you never get round to it.

As my mummy said, who has had five, you cope!!

Me and Mr F has discussed this extensivley (sp?) and we could cope, id go back to work eventually..we are lucky his parents live round the corner and his mum works 11-2 so she would happily have bubba if im working!!

Have a look at the tax credits calculator and see if you would be able to get any help there. We still get a bit extra from there which tops up H's income and makes the ends meet. It's still a stretch but it's not impossible.

Think there was a similar thread recently.

Basically, there is never a right time. If you wait until you are financially ready, you'll never have kids. We both have good jobs and currently I'm on maternity leave having had our baby in February. You just cut down on spending, we don't go out now as much. We've been out for dinner once since our LO was born. Our cooking habits have changed, we definitely use what we have more and batch cook food. I'm going to go back part time and I know we will manage, because we have to.

H is the only earner in our house. He provides for us,and 4 kids.

We're lucky that H has a good job, so we can afford for me to stay at home, but we still have the odd month where we have to really budget.

I doubt hardly anyone would have kids, if they put it down to money. Yes, you need some, but if you don't have much, you find a way to cope. You live within your means, as my Mum always told me.

This is the one thing that's worrying me the most. We both bring home a good wage. I'd only get SMP, which, after the first 6 weeks, would quarter my monthly income. Obviously, we'd be cutting down on going out, paying for luxury holidays etc, but it does worry me.

Save as much as you can before hand, thats what we are doing. We are trying to stay in/spend less and save like crazy as every bit helps in the future.

I do worry about how we will afford it, especially as K is self employed and will only get M.A so that will mean i will supporting all of us ?.

I worry about this too, we have discussed it. I would want to stay at home for at least a year, but need to plan around school hols etc so it might not be a full 12 months if I conceive at a good time! OH would prob make just about enough for me to then return to work part-time and my mum would be looking to retire and just mind our baby in about 2-3 years time (when her mortgage is paid off). So I think with her providing cheaper childcare we could just about afford it.

That all depends on what standard maternity pay would be like in the future though. In the meantime after our wedding and fab holidays of this year, we will carry on putting into our wedding savings but it will be offspring savings instead! We would cut down and have cheaper holidays, eat out less and so on as soon as we decide the time is right to start TTC.

We've spent all weekend discussing whether to try for baby number 2. I think we have decided to wait another 3 years.

I think the maternity leave at my work is brilliant compared to many - 9 months full pay, with paid holiday that can be tagged onto the end. Many of my friends have had a whole year paid.

I am not planning on ever taking advantage of it though, which seems a waste

You can shove it my way. Ta muchly.

I'm in exactly the same boat and am also really worried about it. We are going to try and save after the wedding so we've some money to top up my monthly money, although we still won't have enough for 12 months. I guess it might take us a while to conceive as we're getting older, so this will give us more time too.

Haha Missus I love that you base whether you can afford kids by comparing yourselves to Jeremy Kyle rejects!!

Tricks have you decided that due to a cost factor?

I think what it comes down to is my job is ridiculously anti-social and I just wouldn't want to go back full time. He has already said that he would take me back part time but the hours are so random I wonder if I could get some contract where I work a minimum of 16 hours or so, not sure he would offer this though. I'm just a worrier and it's something that has been on my mind recently. OH and I have always contributed evenly to household costs and I would hate to think that he would have to start paying more for me to not work if that makes sense.

Yep.

I dont want to go back to work full time afterwards so in 3 years we will be debt free (Mr Tricks has a loan and I have car finance) which means I can afford not to have to go back full time.

I think about this all the time, i genuinely dont understand how people afford kids. OH has been out of work for a while and we have JUST got by, let alone with a baby to feed. I know it will work itself out, otherwise how does everyone (jeremy kylers) have so many, but I just dont get it.

That's sensible Tricks. We have car finance which will be paid off in Jan and hoping to change our mortgage to a lower interest rate which will save us some money before then.

The trouble is that I don't like the idea of just 'getting by'. Sigh.

I don't think you can think of it like that. You are 'working' and contributing to the household when you have a child, just not in a monetary sense. If you are bringing up baby and your OH makes e.g. £30k a year then collectively you make £30k a year, not you £0 and him £30k. That's how I would view it anyway. Your contribution lies in the fact you carry his baby for 9 months, give birth and raise it!

It is but I'll be 33 before I can start trying (little T will be 14 then!) Is 33 too old?!

Mummy F had my little bro at 36 so no not too old at all!!

I hope not, I'm 33 in January.

33 feels too old to me. Maybe its because I was 19 the first time round???

That does make sense MrsJ, lets just hope Mr Pink agrees!! haha

33 is not old at all.

i think thats it..i imagine il be having my 2nd (or third!!) around that age *fingers crossed*

Anyway Tricks, I hope that's not all you spent your weekend doing...

I'm 33 in August.

This is realistically when we are going to be trying for our first. So three and a bit years. H would like much sooner but financially I just don't see how we can.

I guess it just feels old to me as, like I said 33 is old compared to 19 and all of my friends (bar 1) are finished with having kids now and they are all under 30.

In my rational head I know that 33 is obviously not old.

Completely normal to feel that way though.

Once you are 33 you will probably feel different. My friend has just had her 2nd and she's 42. A colleague of mine is having her first aged 41 (although leaving it until that age was not through choice).

I can definitely see why you think that, with being 19 the first time round. A lot of our friends are having their first at around 33. None of my close friends have children and I'm 29. Mr Knees is 34 and most of his friends are having their first, or maximum second.

If he doesn't, tell him HE can push the baby out ?