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vivalasvegas
Beginner April 2013

Renewal of vows v. 'wedding'

vivalasvegas, 25 of April of 2012 at 11:10 Posted on Planning 0 4

Hi everyone,

My husband and I had a quickie Vegas wedding last year prior to a move to the Middle East with our jobs, as it would make a lot of the paperwork involved with our relocation a lot easier. We told our immediate families about the plan and they all understood why we did it. However, I still really wanted the whole Big White Wedding so we deliberately didn't tell the rest of our friends and family that we were were technically married, so that we could have a big celebration at a later stage.

A year on, and we are starting to plan our big wedding. The format is going to be just like a traditional wedding - ceremony, wedding breakfast, evening reception, honeymoon etc, except that the ceremony will just be a renewal of our vows. Obviously people will realise about two minutes into it that it isn't a 'normal' wedding ceremony so my husband will tell everyone what is happening/what happened when everyone is having welcome drinks.

I am so nervous and worried that a) people will be angry that we didn't tell them that we are already technically married and b) my wedding day won't feel like a wedding day as we are already married :-(

What do you think? Please reassure me! What would you think if you were a guest? Is it stupid to have wedding-y things (big white dress etc)?

Do anyone have any experience of vow renewal ceremonies? I really can't seem to find much online about them!

On a seperate note, I originally said that I wouldn't be having any bridesmaids as it felt a bit stupid, seeing as it's not a 'proper' wedding, but now I'm thinking that I would really like to have my two closest friends up there next to me!

4 replies

Latest activity by Barefoot, 25 of April of 2012 at 19:53
  • porkchop
    Beginner September 2012
    porkchop ·
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    My sister and her OH got married on the monday, in a register office (just me and his brother there) because they didnt have time for the banns to be read in church as they organised it in a month (long story!), and then on the Saturday had exactly what you are doing! It was fine, most people didnt notice it was any different, and if they did I didnt hear any negative comments. The vicar said something along the lines of 'We are here to bless the marriage of H & M.....' then it was the same really, vows, exchange of rings etc.

    Have bridesmaids, I would!

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  • samwiches
    Beginner August 2013
    samwiches ·
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    Personally I think this would be fine! If I were a guest, I wouldn't mind at all. Like you said, you'll explain it all, so I think everyone would just be happy to be involved in your big day - because it will still be your big day! Just because the words are slightly different shouldn't make it any less special.

    I'm sure you both had completely valied reasons for your Vegas wedding, and your friends and family will understand ?

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  • Helenia
    Beginner September 2011
    Helenia ·
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    I dunno, it seems a little odd to me. I'd have no problem going to a blessing/renewal of vows ceremony for a couple who for whatever reason had already had a civil marriage elsewhere, but if I turned up expecting an actual wedding and got told it was something else, I would certainly be surprised and I'm not sure all in a good way. I guess I might feel (though I'm sure this isn't your intention) deceived that you'd lied to us about what the day was going to be, maybe to get more presents/attention? This might not be what you're wondering, but it's what people may think.

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  • Barefoot
    Beginner August 2012
    Barefoot ·
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    Hmm I think it's absolutely fine that you're planning this, but maybe you need to be upfront about it. I definitely wouldn't include gift list info or requests for money with your invitations. And telling people during drinks will mean people are full of questions rather than living in the moment.

    You could easily tell people that you eloped, and now are renewing your vows in front of family and friends. The full white dress malarkey would be totally fine then, and as a guest I wouldn't think it was strange. First time round I had a blessing on our first anniversary and wore my dress again. The C of E have services that are just like a wedding ceremony for this purpose.

    This time, we are eloping and having a celebration back home. I have worded the invitations: "We're eloping! Please join us on our return to celebrate our marriage with a reception at.....". And we are doing the whole speeches, cakes, wedding dress, ushers, etc. Can't you word yours similarly, e.g. "Due to circumstances, we eloped last year. We would now like you to celebrate our marriage at our blessing / vow renewal at xxxxxx followed by a reception at yyyyyy".

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