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Climoo22
Beginner March 2015

Who is on your top table?

Climoo22, 2 of December of 2014 at 11:21 Posted on Planning 0 9

Hi girls,

just wondering if you can tell me who is on your top table? My mum and OH have only spoken once after a huge argument last Xmas, I don't have a chief bridesmaid (just 3 bridesmaids) my OH mum isn't around and he & his father are not close. Also both my parents are re-married & step mum/dad will be attending.

Because of this we can not agree on who should be on it as we don't really want our parents with us up there, my Mum thinks it's her God given right and said she's sitting up there no matter what.

Then I'll have to put my Dad up there who I don't particularly want up there and then we will also have to have the father in law and what about the step mum/dad.

The wedding has been 100% hosted & paid for by us alone. Our parents have never been the supportive types so we aren't very close.

Totally struggling & getting really stressed about it. We don't want a huge top table with the whole family. Are you all having parents? Anyone who's seating parents not on the top table? And if not, who's sitting with you?

help!

9 replies

Latest activity by Climoo22, 2 of December of 2014 at 13:34
  • J
    Beginner November 2015
    jesikab4u ·
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    Why don't you have a sweetheart table? Just have the two of you. You parents can sit at the normal tables. Then you can both have a bit of time together. And no arguments if no one is sitting with you. Hope that helps :-)

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  • cymruangel
    Beginner December 2014
    cymruangel ·
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    View quoted message

    This is exactly what I was going to suggest.

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  • Lorns
    Rockstar May 2015
    Lorns ·
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    ^ Sweetheart table all day Smiley smile

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  • chels1315
    Beginner August 2015
    chels1315 ·
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    We are having the two of us and our bridesmaids and groomsmen. too many parents and step parents for a top table and too much family politics

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  • pammy67
    Beginner April 2015
    pammy67 ·
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    We don't have the issues you've outlined but neither of our mums are with us anymore and while OH's dad has a "girlfriend" we don't want a traditional top table as it would upset my dad and me too much. So, we're having in this order - My son who is giving me away, OH's older son who is best man, OH, Me, My daughter who is maid of honour and OH's younger son who is usher and MC. They are all of an age though - ie 21, 19, 26 and 15. My other BM (12) will be sat with her parents, and dads will be sat on tables that abut the top table so very close. We're only having 31 in total and having long tables all facing into the centre so in effect creating a large single table.

    OH has had his two daughters get married and on both occasions he was on the top table with his ex - hated every moment and I was in the mele. TBH he'd have preferred not being on the top table. It's really difficult at times like this. I don't like sweetheart tables personally, but if it's the best way to resolve your dilemma then go for it.

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  • laurafish
    Beginner July 2016
    laurafish ·
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    Another vote for a sweetheart table.

    For us, it's easier because both sets parents are still together and are thankfully still with us. So we will have both sets of parents, best man, and maid of honour (my sister).

    In your situation though I can definitely see why it's a tough decision and if I was in your position I would 100% go with a sweetheart table.

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  • S
    Beginner April 2015
    Spring Bride 85 ·
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    Definitely sweetheart table. We're doing this because my parents are divorced and OH's parents are no longer with us so would look unfair/unbalanced anyway...that and OH said he didn't want to sit with everyone anyway, he'll want some time just him and me. :-)

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  • km329
    Savvy August 2021
    km329 ·
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    Were not having a "top table" due to OH's parents being devorced and his dad having a new partner that his mother dosnt know about yet...

    were having round tables and OH and I will be sat with my parents and a couple of close friends

    really didnt want to rock the boat so have just separated everyone.

    I wouldnt want to sit at a sweetheart table as i'd feel i was missing out on being with family and friends.

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  • SillyWrong
    Beginner October 2014
    SillyWrong ·
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    We had a 'top' table with 20 on it, but it was more like a long oblong table with people sat on both sides, then the round tables around us. We had the whole family on it as we couldn't work it out any other way - so mums dads step mums and dads, grans, siblings and partners ... but then, we did that because we get on with them all and WANTED to sit with them all. My only advice to any bride at any time about anything, is it's YOUR wedding, you do what YOU want.


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  • Climoo22
    Beginner March 2015
    Climoo22 ·
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    Thank you all for your feedback,

    looking back lack at what I've written it's clear I'm being bullied into the big top table purely to please my mother, as it doesn't work for anyone else.

    my BM's have all said that they are quite happy to sit with their other halfs, my Dad hates all eyes on him & so does the father in law so I feel a sweetheart table with family & close friends directly to the right & left respectively might just work.

    Thanks a mil! Smiley smile

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