UNENTHUSIASTIC GROOM TO BE!

ClaireReeves89
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  • Posted: 6 Dec 2018 10:57

    UNENTHUSIASTIC GROOM TO BE!

    Hi All,

    Anyone experiencing there OH not being interested in anything? 

    I've currently got a venue on hold for the 14th September 2019 (yes, i'm not giving myself much time!) 

    Ideally I want to confirm the date with the venue & church before Xmas, so I can relax over the Xmas period.

    My OH is point blank refusing the visit the venue I've chosen to get a feel & to ask any questions he/we both have until after Xmas which I don't feel gives myself enough time / can move on with the next step of planning!

    What should I Do? Just go ahead & book it without him viewing it or wait until after Xmas? xx

  • Posted: 6 Dec 2018 16:11

    Re: UNENTHUSIASTIC GROOM TO BE!

    Hello,

    I personally wouldn't want to book somewhere my OH hadn't seen, but then my OH wants to be involved in the planning and is interested. If it's a case that he doesn't mind the details such as where you get married and you're happy, go with it I suppose.

    I guess if you can find our their free dates, you can always start a discussion with church and venue about dates, then even start contacting other things like florists etc - if you are looking around the same area, it won't matter much to them if the specific venue changes. So you could start thinking about other things if you were keen to get organised.

    Good luck! Hopefully after Christmas is out the way your finace will be much more enthusiastic and helpful!

  • Posted: 6 Dec 2018 21:30

    Re: UNENTHUSIASTIC GROOM TO BE!

    I found at the beginning my other half it was hard work to get him involved in the planning but thankfully as time went on it did get easier. Now to the extent he’s more of a bride than myself!! As previously said you can definitely research other suppliers in the area to get the ball rolling, we did that and ended up with a date change in the end and all worked out fine. I think 9 months should just about be ok, we had about 21 months in the end and had a massive lull this year where we couldn’t do anything but now we are 6 weeks away the pressure has definitely stepped up! Good luck whatever you decide

  • Posted: 7 Dec 2018 8:50

    Re: UNENTHUSIASTIC GROOM TO BE!

    Firstly - hey, I'm also 14th September 2019! 

    Secondly, whilst I'd be tempted to book, I'd have a sit down with him and ask why he doesn't want to check it out. Explain to him that you can't guarantee the venue will still be available after Christmas.

    Is there a reason behind his lack of enthusiasm - maybe he just isn't fussed, or is it all going ahead a bit quickly, and maybe he's feeling a bit overwhelmed?

    Is he worried about having to pay out a large deposit on a venue right before Christmas?

    If he wasn't included in the initial choice and visits, maybe he's feeling a bit rebellious? My fiance and I went to visit all of our venues together - if he'd chosen one without me, I'd probably feel a bit 'yeah, whatever' about it too. 

    Have a chat with him. Just booking the venue will exclude him from the loop even more, and could put additional strain on your relationship. You might think it's the perfect venue, but he needs to want it too. 

    Good luck! X

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