To Elope or Not To Elope?

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  • Posted: 4 Oct 2019 10:28

    To Elope or Not To Elope?

    Hello everyone,

    In a bit of a pickle and need some advice. It's a bit of a tale but I'll try to keep it as short as possible. 

    Got engaged in April, this is the second time around for me, first for fiance. Small wedding and meal booked for June with a party the same night. 

    We booked everything fairly quickly and local and I've never quite been 100% happy with it. 

    Our families are both a nightmare which has really been stressing me out. My dad has been with his partner for 10 years, I can't stand being in the same room as the woman. My mum is very snipey towards her and does nothing to shield me from it, even on my previous wedding day. I've also been having a lot of "should" conversations - I should do this and should do that. She invited a bunch of her friends to the party, meaning I had to scale back my own guest list, while continuing to tell me about who I "should" invite. My family are all in Scotland and, barring my parents and brother, none of them will come down.

    Fiances parents just as bad. Lots and lots of bad blood - they've not been in the same room for many years. Stepmum is loud and drinks heavily, gets louder and very inappropriate and embarrasing. He's lucky enough to have 3 grandparents left, both sets have apparently never ever got on. 

    His mum actually berated my future sister in law for not inviting her dress shopping. 

    I am absolutely dreading spending 4 hours in a private dining room with all this going on.

    There's a big festival on that weekend (take a wild guess haha!) and a lot of my friends will be going to that instead. 

    All these things combined means that, apart from actually marrying the man of my dreams, I am dreading every single part of it. It feels like it's all for everyone elses benefit.

    I can't stop thinking about eloping. We're thinking that the grief of running off and doing it will be less than the grief, and potential dramatics, on the day. 

    I've mentioned it to my (very traditional) dad who has been surprisingly supportive - our mothers will be another story. 

    I literally just want to marry him, without pomp and ceremony. I tried that before and got divorced shortly after!

    Be really interested to know if I'm being an idiot - should I grin and bear it? Had anyone else eloped and how did it go?

    Thank you x 





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