Thinking of not even getting married?

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  • Posted: 19 Jul 2019 17:43

    Thinking of not even getting married?

    I really need help, I’m not even engaged yet but my OH is going to propose to me in a few months (I found out) and I have massive anxiety. The idea of him going on a stag do would make me so worried and completely take any excitement out of planning a wedding or getting married. I’m totally against strip clubs , lap dances etc, I know there’s no right or wrong but I feel like the issue is respecting each others boundaries in a relationship. We’ve been together 3 years and I can’t stop worrying. I asked him ‘ what would you do if your friends hired you a stripper?’ And he said ‘well I couldn’t just walk away could i?’ And it’s been playing on my mind so much I might even tell him I don’t want to get married. I want to enjoy my wedding planning, and knowing his friends, his stag wouldn’t just be one night in this country, it’d be a week in magaluf or something like that. And it hurts that he’d just sit there in a strip club and let it all happen when I’d be sitting at home in bits, worrying and falling apart. I know it seems over dramatic but I really suffer with anxiety and I don’t know what to do. I think if he wouldn’t do it in front of me, he shouldn’t do it at all, and he wouldn’t be happy if I was giving out lap dances . If he came home and told me that something like that had happened, there wouldn’t be a wedding. 

    I just can’t understand why you would celebrate a marriage by being intimate with another woman, and I’ve always wanted to get married, but the fact that when I asked him and he couldnt reassure me , puts me right off. 

    I just need some advice please before I go insane :( 


    thank you

  • Posted: 2 Aug 2019 12:41

    Re: Thinking of not even getting married?

    Hi there. I totally understand what are you talking about. I am a man and I know that for most of us it is normal to have stripper during Hangover party. But you always can talk to your man and discuss it. Let him know that it is not okay for you. Dont be shy and dont warry if he really loves you he will do everything for you Smile

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