Sister ruining wedding

ExpensiveYellowDecor47096
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  • Posted: 3 Mar 2019 17:38

    Sister ruining wedding

    First-time poster. 

    So, this past week of wedding-planning has been particularly tough. The main culprit is my sister, who agreed to help with the planning but has been so absent. Granted, she has a newborn but I don't understand why her husband can't take the baby for 2 hours a day so she can help me. The first issue is she agreed to make all the food for a wedding-planning get-together and it wasn't even that many people-like 5. She did not do that and ended up getting take-out because she said the baby was sick...again, I don't know why her husband couldn't take over. Second thing is that she agreed to host the bachelorette party but is now saying she cant go out or drink because the baby/she's nursing...again, why cant she pump beforehand? I am just frustrated. Advice please!

  • Posted: 4 Mar 2019 9:25

    Re: Sister ruining wedding

    I’m guessing you don’t have children?

    you are being completely unreasonable. Did she agree to help prior to giving birth? Newborns are super hard work and need their mama. You cannot just go out and leave them when breastfeeding. I didn’t leave my second until he was 11months old in the evening and that was only a few hours. Don’t dictate what she should do with her child, plan your wedding yourself!

  • Posted: 4 Mar 2019 11:09

    Re: Sister ruining wedding

    This appears to be her first baby and she did not realise how big an impact it would have on her life.  I suspect you don't have kids so are also unaware.

    You just need to lift all responsibility off her and find someone else to help.  You'll find things get easier for her as the baby gets older but give her until it's 6 months old before you expect ANYTHING.

  • Posted: 4 Mar 2019 13:27

    Re: Sister ruining wedding

    This may sound tough so I’m sorry but having a newborn is ridiculously hard work especially if it’s your first. You barely have time to shower let alone anything else placing additional pressure. I am certain she is trying her best to juggle it all for you but you will have to cut her some slack. Perhaps ask her if she feels she can still be involved in the planning, she may be anxious about being it up with you. Finally in answer to the husband part some mums just can’t bring themselves to hand over the reins or I know fathers that really are not hands on at all.

  • Posted: 4 Mar 2019 16:18

    Re: Sister ruining wedding

    When you’ve got children you’ll understand. 2 hours a day away from a newborn is a lot. Pumping doesn’t always work and if it does it’s very time consuming to even get 1 evening worth of feeds. I think you need to accept that her baby takes priority over your wedding to her. 

  • Posted: 5 Mar 2019 19:31

    Re: Sister ruining wedding

    I wouldn’t have entitled the post “sister ruining wedding” A tad over dramatic me thinks! I don’t understand why people who decide between them 2 selves that they want to get married expect so much “help” from friends and family. It’s your day, you organise it and pay professionals to help you. It’s not for our families and friends to organise our weddings for us. 

  • Posted: 7 Mar 2019 22:50

    Re: Sister ruining wedding

    You need her for 2 hrs a day for what?

    making food vs a takeaway- sounds like she tried her best. At least she fed you - it should be you going round to hers with some ready made food!

    She’s probably feeling pretty tired and going out will be the least appealing thing for her. Give her a break and find someone else to help you, or DIY.

    You say this week has been tough for you? I’m sure it’s been tougher for her. Have a bit of patience for her. I’m sure she’ll be doing what she can when she’s able. Do you really need so much of her time right now? It feels you’re a bit jealous of the time she is consuming into the baby - that baby is your niece or nephew - get to know them and enjoy these early days!

     

     

  • Posted: 11 Mar 2019 10:30

    Re: Sister ruining wedding

    Babies don't stay small for long, those first few months are precious when you're a Mum and I look back at those days and wish I had more of it. You sound unsupportive. 9 months growing a child - exhausting. Giving birth - exhausting.  Looking after a baby - exhausting. Breastfeeding - exhausting. How about you going over your sister's house and sorting the food yourself? Having a baby is a HUGE life change, you expect things will be the same but with a plus one. But it's not. If you decide to have children, you will love those children more than your spouse. The most you can think you love anybody then gets to another level when you have a child. Give her a break. She's trying to please you but she doesn't need your complaining. Also, I used to have to pump for 3 hours to get enough for one feed. Pumping didn't work for me, and it will be the same with lots of Mums, just be kind.

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