I am really stressing out over this so any advice is
I am getting married in 2 years. My parents have been
divorced for around 10 years, Mum has since remarried. I told my Mum last week
that my Dad is coming to the wedding, and now she is not coming (they really
don’t get on).
My Mum is my best friend and I would be miserable on my own
wedding day if she wasn’t there – I don’t really want to do it at all without
her being entirely honest. My Mum has done everything for me and my brother so I
understand to a degree why she said she won’t go with Dad there, whereas Dad
has never really been a parent and he has done some not very nice things in the
past. Dad and I aren’t super close because of it, but despite this, I still think
of him as family, so I would feel really guilty if I told him not to come. Especially
now that I’ve allowed him to believe this last year that he and his partner will
be coming - which I realise now is a mistake - so telling him he actually can’t
go is going to be terrible no matter how I do it. I even foolishly gave him a
Save The Date because to be entirely honest, I didn’t think this situation was going
I’m looking for some advice as to how I go about doing it. I
was thinking either letter or e-mail (I know it’s cowardly but I’m scared to do
it to his face because I know he will get upset that I’ve mislead him, and I
don’t want to fall out with him). The ceremony is happening abroad and then we
are having a massive party back home in the UK, so I was thinking Mum could
come abroad with us and then Dad could go to the UK party instead, and I was
thinking of asking him to do a toast. At least they would both involved in the
celebrations in some way, and then my Mum can be with me for the main event
which is what I want.
Before anyone says “it’s your day and they just have to see
each other” I get that but unfortunately, it’s been made clear that it won’t
happen, it’s either one or the other and as much as I love my Dad, I can’t bear
the thought of not being with my Mum on my special day.
Thank you for any advice!!