As a wedding and events planner i have done so many over the years and have loved making peoples special days become reality.
Im getting married in october its booked for the day before my 40th birthday but its not the wedding i truely want.
When i got married first time aged 19 we had a registry office and none of my family came which has hurt me for years.
My partner and i decided to get married and he knew the type of wedding i wanted although my Dad has passed away and didnt get chance to walk me down the aisle i was going to get my mum to do it.
I made a guest list , venue etc etc and my partner who has been married twice before jist wants us two and two witnesses one being my mum and the other a friend at the local registry office which is horrible.
I know its about us marrying each other but both his other weddings were in church, he knew i wanted this but he said he just wants it simple and over and done with so ive booked it but not given notice yet but really feel unhappy, i wanted the dress, flowers, reception and photos, he doesnt even want any photos taken its like he is ashamed and he doesnt want anyone to know we are doing it but i have told a few people and sworn them to secrecy they want to come and they cant.
I wrote to a couple friends telling them swearing them to secrecy and i trust them and they havr been supportive but a couple other say its a shame and feel like its a personal snub they wont be there.
My mum says we are doing it right but no i feel unhappy my partner hasnt evem bought me an engagement ring and doesnt care if we have wedding rings or not, it seems like he has no feeling for it or me at all.
When i talk to him about it he just changes the subject maybe deep down he is hoping i cancel it.
He says he loves me but just doeant want to be centre of attention , i dont like being centre of attention either but i know my family would come to this wedding but looks like it will be both they are missing.
I suppose i sound selfish but i want our close ones sharing our special day and to have photos etc , to me it may as well not happen if he doesnt even want photos taken .
Sorry to go on but its making me doubt my whole relationship completely it feels so cold the way he wants to do it.