Inviting out-of-town-guests to reception only?

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  • Posted: 11 Jun 2019 18:12

    Confused [8-)]Inviting out-of-town-guests to reception only?


    Im in a bit of a pickle regarding what to invite certain guests to on our wedding day.  We live in Kent where we dont have any family or friend ties, so our wedding guests will be coming from all different places in the UK.

    However, i am afraid that the cost of the wedding breakfast at our chosen venue soon adds up. So would it be rude to ask guests such as our friends (who live in Swansea) to come to reception only despite the fact that they will be travelling? I have two minds- they will only reject if they cant, but it is rude to not invite them to the whole day. Of course closer family who will be travelling will be invited to the breakfast.

    Could we invite them to reception and the church but not the breakfast? Im afraid thats rude and I do have an experience of going to a wedding like that and not enjoying having to kill the time. It may be okay bc its one group of friends and they could find something to do together? Or do I just not invite them?

    May sound harsh, but I would prefer to keep that part of the day more intimate (and less taxing on the bank account). Yet I do really want to invite them, as it wont be the same without them. We are a close group and we have still kept in touch depite our uni days finishing.

    I would appreciate any advice you have!

  • Posted: 16 Jun 2019 19:14

    Re: Inviting out-of-town-guests to reception only?

    if people need to travel (1 hours travel max. but even thats pushing it) then you really need to invite them to the whole day, evening ceremonies are for local guests really

    if its important to have them then have a cheaper venue option


    if your venues more important than them then they really aren't very important so don't invite them at all


    don't feel the need to invite aunt Kathy who you met once when you where two and her 7 kids you never met, she might find it rude not to be invited but they'll likely find it far ruder being invited to travel several hours, hire a hotel, buy a gift but only for the 'cheap' bit

    (many find ceremony + evening offensive as your literally telling them to piss off for a few hours and buy their own dinner... if its a church its open invite anyway so doesn't require an invite)

  • Posted: 17 Jun 2019 11:16

    Re: Inviting out-of-town-guests to reception only?

    We're inviting out-of towners to the evening only. 

    I have an aunty, uncle and cousins who live far away and don't see often (once in the last few years, at a funeral!). They expect an invite, but I'm not bumping close friends out for them! 

    H2B also has friends that he would like to attend, but again, doesn't want to bump out closer friends. Our day part is already bigger and more expensive than we wanted! 

    If there are a few coming, it's not like they will only be attending the wedding, they can probably catch up with other people over the weekend - maybe you can arrange to do something with them the next day as well? 

    If you're concerned, just pop them a message and say that as much as you would love to have them there for the whole thing, the budget doesn't allow for that, but you hope they can make the evening, and enjoy the chance to catch up with each other. I'm sure they will understand, especially if any of them are married! 

    Good luck! X

  • Posted: 19 Jun 2019 7:56

    Re: Inviting out-of-town-guests to reception only?

    I think it’s fine to invite out of towners to the evening only. Think of it like having a 30th/40th birthday party - you’d still invite these people to the evening and they’d probably be invited at a later time to the birthday!

    Id understand if they chose not to come but I don’t think it’s rude and as there are groups of people who will also be invited to the evening only they can all meet up and go to lunch etc. I don’t think you should invite people to the ceremony and then evening as I personally would find that rude if it happened to me.

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