Guests dropping out last minute

lucyjo
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  • Posted: 7 May 2017 22:46

    Guests dropping out last minute

    Three weeks to go until the wedding and the nightmare of guests dropping out last minute has begun. Argh!! AngryCrying

    I know there's absolutely nothing I can do about it, so it's pointless getting upset, but it would help to know I'm not the only one dealing with this! Has anyone else ended up with empty seats and wasted meals? We've been so careful with our budget so it sucks that we've paid for people who have let us down (the excuses so far are mediocre at best) but worse than that it's just plain hurtful when people you thought highly enough of to invite show themselves to be crappy friends. Genuine emergencies, fine. Anything else, not fine. I know that on the day I probably won't care because the people who DO show up will outnumber the people who didn't, but right now I just need a little moan about it, lol!

  • Posted: 8 May 2017 7:35

    Re: Guests dropping out last minute

    Is your wedding far away from where you're from? I attended a wedding last year which was nearly 200 miles away from where the bride came from and I know some of her good friends pulled out simply because they could no longer afford to go between the travelling there and the accommodation. 

  • Posted: 8 May 2017 7:41

    Re: Guests dropping out last minute

    5 days to go for us and so far only one drop out- and that was a few weeks ago- luckily another friends who was invited was more than happy to get her husband to fill the gap! 

     

    We we are on tenterhooks as my cousins two small kids have been inadvertently exposed to chicken pox- could well be incubating it and if they are poorly on the day they won't be able to come- which will leave us 4 down. My seating plan will look very odd without them but I will class that as a genuine case! 

     

    What will ill make me cross is if people don't come without a very valid reason but fingers crossed there are not any more drop outs for you or me!! 

  • Posted: 8 May 2017 11:22

    Re: Guests dropping out last minute

    Genuine emergencies tend not to come 3 weeks prior so I get your frustration and it is quite rude, but flip side least they had some decency to tell you before and not just not turn up, cause that is just not on.

    If you are having an evening do can you bump anyone else up? Least then the meals aren't wasted.

    Moan away, here is the place for it.

  • Posted: 9 May 2017 0:37

    Re: Guests dropping out last minute

    I have 5 weeks to go and my OH cousins have dropped out so there's 5 there, my uncles dropped out and my brother told me over the weekend he doesn't think he will come and then the next minute he is. We're trying to fill spaces but people have things booked, which makes things difficult. We're coming tonterns of having to cut our loses /:

  • Posted: 9 May 2017 7:45

    Re: Guests dropping out last minute

    Doesn't sounds like there are good reasons, so I think that is quite rude.

    To avoid any more drop outs why don't you and your OH go through the invite list and have a friendly 'catch up' call with anyone you think might be borderline?!

    Also telephone the people who have already dropped out, and just check that they definitely can't make it. Don't try to guilt-trip them but I think it's fine to ask for a reasonably explanation

    Ask the venue/catering if you can redistribute the money for the drop outs' meals to other things, say canapes or more booze

    I know this is really annoying for you but I think this is an important issue you've raised - I reckon I might follow up with a few certain guests a couple of months before our wedding to check

  • Posted: 9 May 2017 15:23

    Re: Guests dropping out last minute

    Very frustrating! I agree that's the height of ill manners to let you down so close to the day. 

    If everything's paid for are there any friends or family attending whose partners are not? If so you could ask them along to fill the spaces. 

    You DEFINITELY won't care on the day and in a few years' time you'll just have your happy wedding memories and the money they've made you waste will be forgotten :-)

  • Posted: 9 May 2017 18:37

    Re: Guests dropping out last minute

    A few years ago my friend got married and she had family drop out last minute, she asked those of us with partners if we wanted to bring them instead.

    When I got married previously I had a few people drop out so just bumped people up from the evening (work friends who I'd wanted there all along)

  • Posted: 9 Sep 2019 11:25

    Re: Guests dropping out last minute

    I am getting married in 2 weeks and just now a friend has told that she has a last minute work trip and can't go, another friend, after I asked her when was she arriving as the wedding is in Spain, she said she hasn't book anything as she needs to be in Spain the weekend just before our wedding and she can't be in working from home that long (she does it when she is London), she said she will confirm as soon as she knows if she is going or not or if she is going with her husband and daughter, who was supposed to be a flower girl. Both friends are Spanish and the first one lives in Spain. Thankfully we haven't paid anything yet for the meals and we'll only need to pay after the wedding so I can still cancel their meals! 

    It has upset m, but I try to see the positive side: money saved!! lol!!

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