there is a small issue with my guest list, basically my OH's cousins all live very far away. We have decided that, out of politeness, to invite them to the whole wedding. Also we are a lot closer to his cousins than mine. However, we have decided just to invite my cousins to our evening do. This is because they live 20 mins away from the venue and we just don't really talk to them. I'm pretty sure they won't mind because the party is the best bit and we want our ceremony and wedding breakfast to be as intimate as possible. My cousin's child doesn't even know who I am. I don't want to cause upset because aunts and uncles are invited to the whole thing, but I would honestly rather have friends who I know better there and family friends who actually make an effort.
Would it be ok to invite just aunts and uncles from one side but the whole family from my OH's? There's over 20 cousins and OH's and children from my side if that helps form other's opinions. I wouldn't mind spending the money on them if they actually made an effort to see me, but in all honesty I'm like that with them as well. One aunt is notorious for causing drama, I'm hoping she'll be ok if her children aren't invited to the whole thing as my brothers invited them to their weddings (one had a 5pm wedding with no day meal and the other got married on the other side of the country so probably just invited them for the same reason as me with my OH's) and I got invited to my cousins wedding (over 10 years ago).
This isn't about budget or money, my OH is deaf and I have epilepsy which can be stress induced, the thought of having over 80 people staring at me who I don't really know well anymore just gives me shivers! I have discussed this with my OH and he agreed, nothing to do with money but it's our day and my parents have also agreed, but now I'm nervous about save the dates etc and this will cause issues and fall outs.