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vivalasvegas
Beginner April 2013

Asking for contributions towards honeymoon

vivalasvegas, 15 of April of 2012 at 08:30 Posted on Planning 0 28

Hi everyone, my H2B and I would like to ask people to contribute towards our honeymoon, rather than buy us gifts, as a) we have lived together for years and have everything we need, and b) live abroad, so flying everything back with us would be a nightmare! I was just wondering how other people that did this, worded it on their invitations? I don't want to come across as grabby....Thank you!

28 replies

Latest activity by Chloe, 5 of August of 2021 at 00:39
  • stephanieeff
    Beginner July 2014
    stephanieeff ·
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    My other half's workmate did this. They found a really cute, funny poem online about how they already had pots and pans etc and were really in need of a holiday, and included it on the ba ck of the invitation. I thought it was brilliant!

    Just use the power of google! ?

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  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    Don't have a gift list at all, most people will give cash.

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  • Figs
    Beginner June 2012
    Figs ·
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    My friends said something along the lines of "Your presence at our wedding is all that we hope for, but if you would like to make a further gift then we would very much appreciate money towards our honeymoon fund" Nobody said anything about it being inappropriate, and they received exactly what they asked for - lots of cash for the honeymoon ?

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  • MrsBtobe1980
    Beginner September 2012
    MrsBtobe1980 ·
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    Hi

    this is what we have done, we included the poem on a little business size card,

    We are sending out this invitation


    In hope you will join our celebration


    If a gift is your intention


    May we take this opportunity to mention


    We have already got a kettle and toaster


    Crockery, dinner mats, and matching coasters. 


    So rather than something we have already got


    We would appreciate money for our honeymoon pot


    But most importantly we request


    That you come to our wedding as our special guest

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  • IshouldCoco
    Beginner September 2012
    IshouldCoco ·
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    I find all the money poems rather twee I'm afraid, not a fan.

    We want cash over gifts in all honesty, but we won't be asking, we've mentioned it to mother in law and my mum though, sure they can point people in right direction of letting others know.

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  • IshouldCoco
    Beginner September 2012
    IshouldCoco ·
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    I find all the money poems rather twee I'm afraid, not a fan.

    We want cash over gifts in all honesty, but we won't be asking, we've mentioned it to mother in law and my mum though, sure they can point people in right direction of letting others know.

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  • emze2011
    Beginner September 2013
    emze2011 ·
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    Sorry i agree! were just putting Gifts- Although you attending the wedding is a gift enough, for those who wish to give us something we would appreciate cash to put toward a honeymoon.

    We got an invite to a friends wedding this year that says "Gifts: Any gift will be gratefully received, however, the bride and grrom would prefer either cash or vouchers for *said travel agent*

    I loved the straight forward approach of what they wrote. personaly i HATE buying gifts for weddings and find the fight to buy stuff off there list without spending £££££££ or having to choose something they will proberly be selling on ebay post honeymoon really stressfull!

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  • F
    Beginner March 2013
    flower71 ·
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    I'm not a fan of the poems either, I much prefer the straight up approach (my cousin used buymyhoneymoon although i think lots of people just put money in an envelope rather than going to the website and choosing a trip or something for them). I have quite a few friends say (about other people's weddings) that they thought asking for honeymoon money was crass, so you'll never win!

    I'm thinking I just won't bother with a list or even a specific request for money. One thing I did see somewhere and I thought was quite sweet was for the thank you cards get a photo of you both on the honeymoon with a little 'thank you' sign being held up, think we might do that, or might even take a little chalk board and write a personal message for each gift and then print them myself...

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  • Pink Han-bag
    Beginner March 2013
    Pink Han-bag ·
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    The poems are just awful and almost make me not want to give anything on principle.

    I think a direct line is ok, people will want to get you something and them knowing it will be appreciated is the main thing.

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  • 50's pin up bride
    Beginner July 2012
    50's pin up bride ·
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    Another who is not a fan of poems - I received the one cited above in a recent invitation and found it a bit sickening. I think no gift list is risky (in case you end up with 25 photo frames and 25 kettles!) but if you want money and don't feel uncomfortable asking for it, just come out and say it!

    A friend of mine was horrified when her step-brother asked for money towards their honeymoon, and then was recently moaning that none of the guests had so far given them any (wedding is soon). She then explained he has a ferrari, and if a honeymoon was so important, maybe he should sell his car rather than greedily expecting his much-less-well-off friends and family to fund it! I'm sure you're not in this category, but plenty of people ARE that cheeky which is why I think some people feel slightly insulted to be asked for cash.

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  • vivalasvegas
    Beginner April 2013
    vivalasvegas ·
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    Wow, thank you everyone for all of your replies. I was worried that if we didn't specify anything, we would end up with loads of random items that we didn't really need and that would end up being relegated to my mum's attic!

    It's difficult - some people seem to think that asking for money/vouchers/contributions to a honeymoon fund is perfectly acceptable, whilst others think it's incredibly crass.

    I am becoming more and more tempted to not include anything on the invitation and if people ask, then I will direct them to a honeymoon fund. I just wonder how many people will actually ask?!

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  • pandorasbox
    Beginner August 2012
    pandorasbox ·
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    We directed them towards our wedding website, where we had made a list of experiences and the costs for when we go to Mexico. On the invite info it just says something like we don't expect anything at all, but if you do wish to give a gift we would appreciate money towards our honeymoon. Straight and to the point, which people have said they appreciated.

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  • P
    Beginner May 2012
    psari ·
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    We went for the non-poem approach too.

    I adapted some wording my friend had used for his invites (did ask him first!):

    Your presence at our special day will be a fantastic gift by itself.

    As we have all we need for our home, we have decided not to have a wedding list. However, we do not yet own our home. Therefore, if you wish to give us a gift, we would be eternally grateful for a contribution to our “adopt a brick” fund, to be put towards a deposit for a home of our own.

    You will be welcome to visit your brick as many times as you like!

    Not had too many comments about it, but the couple we have had were positive.

    Hopefully it does leave people with the message that they aren't to feel like they must give us something!

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  • avintagebride
    Beginner March 2012
    avintagebride ·
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    We did this and put a simple line:

    We request your presence, not presents. If however you would like to make a gesture, a contribution to our honeymoon fund would be gratefully received.

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  • Helenia
    Beginner September 2011
    Helenia ·
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    I really like this! I really don't like poems either and would much prefer people just asked up front - I have no objection to giving money if that's what the couple would prefer, but I'd like to know!

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  • Jason Clark DJ
    Jason Clark DJ ·
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    We simply asked for donations to our honeymoon.

    Some people were very generous, far more than we expected.

    A few people wanted to give vouchers or gifts. When we got back home, we noted names vs gifts, and then sent our thank-you cards out when we got back.

    Our tog was able to provide a single photo that we got quickly printed (photobox) and we included that in our thank-you cards.

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  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    I don't know anyone who would buy a kettle for a couple who have owned their own home for well over two years. We put no info, and when asked we told people that we simply don't need anything. So far we have had some generous monetary gifts, and I know that some people are planning things such as champers, keepsakes, and vouchers for our favourite restaurants.

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  • UnionJackDream
    Beginner March 2016
    UnionJackDream ·
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    In our invite we have this:

    We haven't got a wedding list, the reasons we'll explain
    It's to save you all the hassle, as shopping is a pain
    We thought we'd ask you all, for something fun
    A small contribution for us to take a holiday in the sun
    So if you'd like to contribute, towards our honeymoon
    We offer our heartfelt thanks
    With love The Bride and Groom

    I am also putting in another piece of paper which gives an example of what they might contribute could pay for, I thought people would think they had bought something percific then.

    Example: £10 a bottle of champagne at dinner, £25 dinner on the beach, £30 boat trip to a private island, £40 spa morning for 2 on the beach, £50 quad biking in the rainforest

    xx

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  • porkchop
    Beginner September 2012
    porkchop ·
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    We have decided not to put anything in our invites, as we felt the poems were a bit cheesy and crass to be honest! I cant imagine that we'll get a load of toasters, if I got a wedding invite with no gift list I would automatically stick some money in a card - far easier than faffing with a gift list!

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  • W
    Beginner January 2016
    wendie_77 ·
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    Hi everyone,

    My husband to be and I had the same problem. We used a site called www.honeymoon.fund which was really good. We just put the link to our page on our wedding invitations. It's similar to just giving.

    Hope this helps x

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  • N
    Beginner January 2016
    NoMoore ·
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    I put together an information sheet for our guests who are flying up for the wedding and staying in hotels etc, then popped this in the middle of it all:

    The most important gift to us is that you are there to share our day. But if you are thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way, a gift of money towards our dream home would really make our day.

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  • S
    Beginner September 2017
    Sorbet ·
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    My friend didnt have a gift list and she got a load of completely unique gifts, most where handmade and personal, a few traditional wedding gifts and some money - not a single toaster or kettle though

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  • Jayne E
    VIP
    Jayne E ·
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    Love this one.

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  • M
    Beginner April 2017
    MrsJ_ToBe ·
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    It's a strange one this, I don't agree with asking for money towards whatever but on the other hand we don't need anything for our house etc! So it's a case of finding the right balance so that equally people don't waste money on gifts we don't need hmm

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  • Bobbys_Girl
    Beginner October 2017
    Bobbys_Girl ·
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    I am with the others who don't like the poems.

    My oh wants a gift list but if we decide not to then we will leave it off the invitations, people will always ask or just default to cash/vouchers, champagne, photo albums etc.

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  • Charliebob
    Beginner May 2016
    Charliebob ·
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    I went for half and half.. Not a fan either of the sickly poems but wanted it put nicely across not to offend. These were ours from Ebay.

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  • C
    Beginner July 2016
    Chaffinch ·
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    We don't expect people to give us anything I was worried people might think they are supposed to , so I will say so when I invite them . ' The only gift we require is your presence' or something

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  • T
    Beginner September 2017 Kent
    TraceyDMartin ·
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    I think doing with a poem is a good idea and make it clear its completely optional.

    We used the site flyustothemoon.com to create a create a gift list so guest could have pick an item on our adventure.

    Most of the weddings we've been to have been too donate money. I think you risk getting a lot of unwanted gifts if you don't ask for money donations.

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