***** Mrs Peanut's Wedding Report - 16th December 2012 *****

He finished his degree in the summer of 2010 and we went on our first holiday together, started spending pretty much every night together and realised that we both saw our futures with each other. By the beginning of 2011 we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. However, I was still a student studying for my Masters, and wasn’t really in a position to be getting married. We started looking at rings on the weekend of the royal wedding (and both being republicans, this was a complete coincidence I assure you!) We decided we would get engaged once I’d finished my course, got a job and we had our own place. In June the lease ended on the house T had been living in with his friends, and he decided to move in with my mum and I until I’d finished my course and we could afford to get our own place. This was definitely not the easiest of times, but in the end we got through it and it brought us closer together. At the beginning of August, on the last day of my course, I found out I had a job and we started looking for a flat together.

I started my job at the beginning of October, but unfortunately flat hunting didn't go so smoothly and we couldn’t move in to the flat we wanted until the middle of December. It was frustrating having to wait, but at least we knew we had our flat ready and waiting for us. We began talking more and more about getting engaged, and T being a big romantic booked a weekend away for us in Paris for the beginning of December. The night we got engaged was incredibly odd but amazing, as we both knew the ginormous elephant in the room was that he was about to propose! He got down on one knee by the riverbank, made a lovely speech that I can't remember as I was so nervous and excited, and finally we were engaged.

Wedding planning

After Christmas and New Year had passed the wedding planning commenced. There were two things that we knew from the start: that we wanted as small a wedding as possible, and we wanted to be married as soon as possible. We decided on 19th August 2012, and found a lovely intimate venue in the Essex countryside.

We were about to book our venue when we started having some doubts about the accessibility of the venue for my elderly grandmother. At the same time, T got some heartbreaking news that his parents had decided that they did not want to come to the wedding. His grandmother and brother had also decided not to come to avoid rocking the boat. T was understandably devastated, and wedding planning was put on hold for a while.

By the time we had both come to terms with everything, a significant amount of time had passed and we decided it just wasn't feasible to organise a wedding in time for August. We also decided that the venue wasn't quite right, so we went back to the drawing board. We didn't want to wait a whole year until the next summer, and it was T who suggested a winter wedding. The thought hadn't even occurred to me, but the more I thought about it the more perfect it seemed. Christmastime is my favourite time of year; I love fairy lights and cosy dark evenings. I hate being hot, and the thought of sweating in a big dress seemed increasingly unappealing. And the extra few months would give us more time to plan, without having to wait until the following year.

We started looking for a new venue, and found it is not easy to find wedding venues suitable for less than 30 guests. We eventually came across Baddow Park; a countryside mansion which is the owner's actual home, but is licensed for weddings. It seemed perfect for a cosy winter wedding, and we fell in love with it straight away. We booked the venue for 16th December 2012, and finally we could say it was really happening, we were officially getting married.

It wasn't all smooth sailing from there; there were times when we discussed calling the whole thing off as it was too hard for T to cope with getting married without his family there. His dad was then suddenly rushed to hospital with severe heart problems, and at his worst they feared he wouldn't last the night. He eventually pulled through, and the silver lining was that it gave them the opportunity to build bridges. Although his parents still maintained they were not coming to the wedding, he was able to accept their decision while still maintaining some kind of relationship with them. Although it definitely wasn't easy, and there were times when I was so emotionally exhausted I felt like I just didn't care about the wedding anymore, we managed to get through it all knowing the one thing that mattered was that by the end of 16th December we would be husband and wife spending the rest of our lives together.

The big day

T and I spent the night before the wedding together in our flat, as we always sleep better when we're together. Sadly on this occasion it didn't work, as I woke up at 5:30am absolutely bursting with excitement unable to get back to sleep! I had a shower, painted my nails, had some breakfast, and at about 8am T dropped me off at my mum's house. Half an hour later the hair and makeup artist Lisa and her assistant Rhiannon arrived, and they got to work on my mum. After making us a cup of tea (good boy!), T went off to pick up one of my bridesmaids. Upon his return we had a heartfelt goodbye, and my bridesmaid G started getting her hair done too. My sister and my other bridesmaid M showed up not long later, and we had a very chilled out morning chatting, drinking tea and letting Lisa and Rhiannon work their magic. Everyone was commenting on how calm I was, but it just seemed so surreal that I was getting married!

At about 11:30am my dad and sister's boyfriend N arrived and we started setting off for the venue. That's when things started getting chaotic: my mum was faffing around for 10 minutes while we waited in the car, then my nan realised she needed the toilet desperately so we had to stop at Tesco, and then my dad started getting stressed and arguing with other drivers...! I decided that I was just going to let everyone else do what they wanted to do and just focus on myself, which definitely helped me to stay relaxed. After dropping everyone else off at the hotel, we eventually we got to the venue, and the first thing I saw was my cake looking absolutely fantastic and the ceremony room set up. It was then that it started getting very real! Lisa and Rhiannon were already set up in an upstairs bedroom, and it was finally my turn to start getting my hair and makeup done. The florist turned up with my beautiful flowers, and we carried on having a lovely, relaxed, chilled out time knowing we had loads of time.

Then suddenly, all that time we had seemed to evaporate. It was 2:30pm, I was getting married at 3pm and didn't even have my dress on. My mum and bridesmaids starting helping me get dressed but they couldn't even do up the back panel of the corset; by this point I was SERIOUSLY stressed! My lovely hair and makeup ladies came to the rescue and sorted out my dress and shoes.

A quick bit of lippy, my flowers thrust into my hands and I was off downstairs to meet with the registrars. My dad's expression as I walked down the stairs and he saw me for the first time was amazing, I don't think I'll ever forgot the look on his face.

I went off to meet the registrars, however unbeknownst to me my Grandma and my aunt were stuck in traffic and were running late. There was no way my 92 year old Grandma was going to miss seeing her first grandchild get married, so my mum got the photographer to take some pre-wedding photos with me to stall for time!

I don't know how T was feeling at this point, but he told me later that Annie (the owner of the house) had fixed him a G&T before the ceremony which he suspected was about 99% gin and 1% tonic, so I'm sure that helped! My grandma eventually turned up just after 3pm, and once they were seated we were ready to begin.

As I heard the music start (The Vitamin String Quartet version of The Sound of Settling by Death Cab For Cutie) my heart pounded in my chest...this was really it. My bridesmaids went first, and then it was my turn. I walked through the door, and the first face I saw was my cousin, whose mouth literally dropped open! Then (almost) disaster struck: my dad proceeded to step on my dress.

In the process of trying to carry on walking without falling over I spent the whole aisle walk looking down...then all of a sudden I was at the front, I looked up and there T was. He looked absolutely gorgeous, and he told me later that he started welling up when he saw me walk in.

We grinned stupidly at each other and said "What do we do? Can we kiss? Should we hold hands?" In the end we did neither and just stood there like lemons until the registrar said we could take each other's hands!

The ceremony was short and sweet which was exactly what we wanted as we are both quite anxious people, we just wanted to be married and for the nerve-wracking part to be over! We only had one reading as we struggled to find something that we felt was meaningful to us and wasn't too cheesy. I started welling up as my Dad did the reading:

"You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –

This is my husband. This is my wife."

It was then time for the vows, and T was first to respond "I am" to the question "Are you T, free to marry L?" T squeaked "I am" so quietly that the registrar made him say it again louder!

I wrote our promises as an amalgamation of example promises I found online, and I started welling up even more when T read them:

"I promise to love, honour, respect and cherish you

I promise to care for you above all others, to support you and comfort you, and be devoted, loyal and faithful to you always

I will laugh with you and cry with you and love you in good times and bad

When life seems easy and when it seems hard

When our love is simple and when it needs effort.

I will stand by your side no matter what the future may bring

This is my promise to you today and forever."

(We made sure to include the word forever as a bit of an in joke, in response to a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry and his wife are renewing their vows, and he refuses to promise to love her forever as he only agreed to "until death do you part"!)

I read the promises back to him, we exchanged rings, and then that was it, we were pronounced husband and wife!

Loving this so far!!

We were adamant we didn't want to have lots of time away from our guests to take photos, but after the ceremony we popped outside for 10 minutes to take a few couples photos, and it was nice to have the quiet time to let everything sink in.

We then met our guests for canapes, winter Pimms and live piano music and did a bit of mingling. I have to say at that moment I could not have been more relieved that we didn't have a big wedding, as except for 4 distant family members who my Dad really wanted to be there, everyone else were family and friends that T and I both saw regularly, and there was a really lovely relaxed atmosphere.

When planning the wedding we decided that although we were having a civil ceremony as neither of us are religious, we wanted to do something to acknowledge our Jewish heritage, especially as I had a religious upbringing. We agreed that my dad would do a welcome speech during the drinks reception, and as part of that my dad would do a blessing. The blessing he chose is one that's really special to me: it's a blessing that a father says to his children after lighting the Sabbath candles on a Friday night, and my dad said it to me and my sister every single Friday throughout our entire childhood. Even after my parents separated, he still came round every Friday to light the candles and do the blessing. (It turned out when my mum was faffing around for ten minutes while we were waiting in the car she was trying to find the Fiddler on the Roof-esque headscarves they used to make us wear as children to light the candles, since it's a bit of a family joke about how ridiculous they were! Sadly she couldn't find them!)

The following words were send in turn to both me and T:

(To T) May the Lord make you like Ephraim and Menashe

(To me) May the Lord make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah

May the Lord bless you and keep you

May the Lord shine His face towards you and be gracious to you

May the Lord show you kindness and grant you peace.

It was then time for the formal group shots, and my one piece of advice to WPers is do not underestimate how long this takes! It probably took us about an hour, and that's with less than 30 guests.

With that out of the way, it was time for the wedding breakfast.

The food was absolutely delicious, and my corset felt like it was about to pop by the end! T did a lovely speech after dinner, and although I know he was incredibly nervous he did a fantastic job. He decided not to have a best man, but my sister's boyfriend of ten years did a toast and he also did a brilliant job, especially since he memorised the whole thing off by heart (apparently Derren Brown visualisation memory techniques do work!)

And then it was party time! After one big group shot with all the guests, we cut the cake, then had our first dance to There Is No Greater Love by Amy Winehouse. We were both dreading it as our practise dances had established we are terrible dancers, but the song is only 2 minutes long and we realised that in a big dress all you can really do is swish about anyway!

For the second dance T asked my mum to dance, I had a dance with my dad, everyone else joined in and from them on the dance floor was packed all night. Another word of advice to WPers planning a small wedding: the size of your venue rooms are key. Our dance floor was small enough that it was packed with only 26 guests, but the high ceilings meant it wasn't claustrophobic. The party was absolutely fantastic, T and I danced non-stop for about 3 hours until my feet were about to fall off and then I finally had to sit down!

We had some traditional Israeli dancing at a couple of points which my mum insisted on, but I'm glad she did because it was so much fun and definitely got the party going. I was spun until I was dizzy and I thought T and the boys were going to smash into a table of glasses at one point!

The only thing that wasn't perfect was that I asked for the last song of the night to be What A Wonderful World as it's my Grandad's song, which they didn't play as they ran out of time. But everything else about the day couldn't have been more amazing,

We left for the hotel at about 11:30, got my dress off (which was so tight by that point it was practically boring holes in my stomach), pulled out the endless hairpins, opened a few cards, had a foot bath run by T as my feet literally felt broken and then collapsed into bed, deciding our bodies were far too battered for any wedding night shenanigans! We eventually drifted off to sleep at about 1am, having truly had the best day of our lives.

Beautiful report and photos. Glad you had such a wonderful day! You look stunning! x

Great report Peanut!

Loved reading it and you looked gorgeous.

Your wedding looks and sounds perfect

Congratulations again Mr&Mrs Peanut

Love how your venue looks so cosy, warm and festive with the Christmas tree etc!

Congrats to you both xx

Congratulations! Lovely photos

Amazing report Penaut. Loved reading every bit. Looks like a really amazing day.

This is one of my favourite photos on here ever.

Absolutely stunning! You look like you had a wonderful day!!

Lovely report and I like the ceremony reading from your Dad too. Many congratulations xx

Really enjoyed reading your report. Congratulations! You look beautiful and what a beautiful day........x

Aww peanut you look gorgeous. What a lovely wedding you had. It made me cry too! That reading your dad did about this is my husband, this is my wife was in our wedding too!

What a lovely report, you look wonderful!

Fabulous report, sounds like you had a perfect day, congratulations x

A gorgous and very heartfelt wedding. I love the meaningful touches and the fact your honoured your cultural heritage which made it really personal. It really emphasies the true meaning of a wedding! And you look totally gorgeous!

Thanks for the lovely comments everyone! ?