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Beginner December 2021

H2B niece as bridesmaid

SunnyPinkDecor87141, 15 of February of 2020 at 13:07 Posted on Planning 0 2

My h2b has said his niece should be a bridesmaid, she will be 13 when we get married. I don't think she should be and don't really want her to be. She is a lovely girl but he isn't close to her nor am I. We only see her if she is at his parents or family parties. He has picked 3 bestmen and 2 ushers (his brother will be one of the ushers). I know who I want in my bridal party, I haven't had a say in who he has but he says we have to have her as a bridesmaid as it will cause problems with his parents. I just really don't see why I should. We will be having our little girl as a flower girl and that is it for children. I don't have any siblings but I'm close to my cousin and I'm not even asking her daughter as it then starts spiralling. I have a closer relationship to her though than he does to his niece.

Really, I'm just after some advice and thoughts on this please it's driving me mad!

2 replies

Latest activity by zaraahmad, 24 of February of 2020 at 11:16
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    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Traditionally, the bride gets to choose her bridesmaids and attendants, but in practice, I know very few brides who haven't had to deal with someone else telling them who they should choose!

    I guess it depends how much you don't want her as bridesmaid v how much emotional fallout there will be with the groom's family if she isn't. All I can suggest is that you explain that you don't want a big wedding party and that if you have your OH's niece, close friends will be offended if you don't also ask their children. After all, it doesn't sound as if your parents have caused problems because they didn't get to pick the groomsmen!

    If it would help and you are happy to compromise, you could follow up your explanation by suggesting your OH's niece carry out some practical role at the wedding - maybe being in charge of handing out orders of service like an usher - since she is your OHs relative and he is the one who wants her included, it would make more sense for her to be in the groom's party anyway.

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    Rockstar June 2020
    HappyBlueCars582 ·
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    Where’s the harm in letting her be a bridesmaid? Think about your husband to be and the girl herself. I think we get so caught up thinking about ourselves during our wedding plans that we sometimes forget to consider others and their feelings.

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  • zaraahmad
    Curious August 2021
    zaraahmad ·
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    As per traditional rule @RomainticGreenStationery27135 has already mentioned.

    but its life, sometime we have to compromise. We can not follow the rules everywhere specially with our loved ones. I would recommend compromising if possible for you.

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