No children Allowed - Causing massive stress!

Hi,

I needed to reply as it has caused me so much stress too, so do not feel alone!

We didn't want children as we plan to have quite a boozy wedding, most of our friends with kids want to enjoy themselves and we went to a wedding a few weeks ago where about three kids kicked off during the ceremony. NO THANK YOU. Neither of us have any neices or nephews either!

We started off just putting adults names on invites, did not work - we had people RSVP'ing with their kids names also. So we had to go back and tell them, which was awkward. We even had the same issue with a newborn, I feel awful saying she cannot come as it means her mother is now only coming to the ceremony, and as she is a newborn I really don't mind, but we just had to take a really hard line and say no allowances - as other people really kicked off that their children can't come (unsurprisingly the person causing the most fuss has the naughtiest, most unruly children I have ever met!- I would rather he didn't come at all now as he's been so sh***y about it)

We did start out saying children could come to the evening, but it caused a whole host of drama as a couple of people had a massive stress finding childcare as in some cases - all of their babysitters are also attending. I guess you could say we were also cherry picking children we like and know would be fine.

Our wedding is a few weeks away and thankfully it all seems to be sorted, I just don't care anymore tbh. A month ago I would've said if I had seen a child at my wedding I would have kicked off - now I don't care, more agg then its worth.

It is difficult if people are unable to find childcare but it is just one of those things, stick to your guns!

Good luck, it will all work out!

x

We did bridal parties kids, immediate family kids and babes in arms. We had one friend with a 4 month old and an 18 month old. She was more than happy to leave the older one with grandparents and thrilled that we were happy to let her bring the younger one.

With regards to your dog, if you're that concerned, I would say no kids for that reason. The last thing you want is for your dog to get stressed and accidentally injure a kid. You could still allow people to bring young babies, as they won't be trying to get your dog to interact.

I had the same feeling as you in that we don't have kids, and I didn't want it to turn into a Wacky Warehouse party! Everyone was fine with our rules, we just had chats with parents before the invites went out, and everyone had a great day.

Hope this helps! X

As a parent its nice to have an excuse to leave the kids at home (with an appropriate carer). My wife doesnt like leaving her but also loves being able to adult every now and then.

It's your wedding, you decide on the rules. Never let anyone tell you how you should run YOUR wedding day.

Wedding days are crazy long and children get bored within 5 minutes. Mine told me how she was hungry yesterday WHILE EATING HER DINNER! For a child to sit through even a 12 minute civil ceremony its torture for them. A child over 10 would tolerate it but be bored. Anything under will complain during the vows.

At a wedding an adult can drink, gossip and chat. For kids they just want to run, roll around and play games.

Babes in arms are probably the thing you should allow. Its very hard for a new mother to leave a baby, especially if it's their first. And if the person with the baby you really want to attend.

On your wedding journey you will try and accomodate everyone. Be it food, beliefs, children or whatever. Don't try and make everyone happy or you will end up having a day which is not about you but everyone else. Eventually it will wear you down so its best to set the rules now.

Your wedding your decision, but yes just understand there may be people who decline on this basis. I’ve declined invitations due to this, I was breastfeeding my 8m old, I don’t have family local to us for babysitting.

my wedding will have most children invited, I think 25 in total. If people don’t want to bring them that’s fine but don’t want to not invite and then not have friends and family be able to attend

We are getting married November 22nd 2019, and as soon as we starting planning our wedding i knew i did not want children at our wedding (myself and fiancé do not have children as of yet). I thought this would cause issues in our families as we have lots of children in the family and my side of the family live 3 hours away, i discussed this with them before the invites were sent out and they all completely understood, and was actually happy to have a night off! We just really want people to enjoy the day and evening without having to watch over and worry about their children all day. Don't let anyone make you question what you vision for your big day! We love all the little ones in our family but just want an adult only evening Good luck!

We have put a line in the invites saying

"whilst we love all of our guests and their children, we have made the decision that our wedding is adults only"

Hi!

We are allowing children at our wedding even though our venue isn't really that child friendly because our family and friends don't have that many children so fortunately its not been a stress for us. My fiancé's sister in law has 3 boys between 5 and 10 and they are quite well behaved (thank god) and plan on creating little activity boxes (colouring pages, non-noisy sweets (lol), books, lego figures) for them for the day and leave them on the seats at the ceremony to keep them occupied. My fiancé's other brother got married a couple of weeks ago and they sat through a 45 minute church ceremony without a squeak, but they did have things to keep them occupied - they did the ushering - handing out orders of service, different family members did readings which kept their attention, hymns got them "singing" lol.

Have you heard of wedding nannies? Went to friends wedding where there was one and they had an area set up almost like a creche for the babies/kids. It was in a small room attached to the ballroom so was out of sight and didn't feel like a kids party lol. I talked to so many parents saying it was the best thing ever as they could enjoy the day but also see their kids.

I've also been to a wedding where the invitation had an additional note about children - it politely said if a baby/child becomes restless then the parent agrees to discreetly remove them from the area as not to disturb the wedding... Those with children were strategically seated near exits or at the end of isles. Take that how you like lol. I'd expect any responsible parent to take a child away and soothe it and as not to ruin the wedding. Easier said than done though.

At the end of the day its YOUR wedding, no one elses. There is enough stress already never mind worrying about other peoples kids!