Bridesmaid proposal

I've just posted on another post about bridesmaid regret..

I would say wait. So many people make snap decisions on who they want as bridesmaids, but honestly, a wedding has funny effects on people, and you may find that there is someone who really steps up to help that you wouldn't even consider asking at the moment, whereas your current thoughts might turn out to be completely disinterested in what you're up to.

Announce your engagement (congratulations by the way!), and enjoy the initial planning stages - working out styles and colour schemes, looking at venues.

Also, once you get the initial big bits out of the way, you'll have a better idea of budget - if I had know how tight our budget was going to be, I would have been more picky (I have 6 bridesmaids!). Work out your budget, look at the dress style you like and their prices, plus the cost of any extras (shoes/hair/make-up) then work out how many bridesmaids you can afford! This makes it sound so cold, but I wish someone had said this to me.

Good luck with your planning! X

Firstly, congratulations on your engagement! Secondly, whoever you decide on, don’t have high expectations from them. It’s your wedding and I don’t believe that bridesmaids should have to “step up and help out etc” because we have chosen to get married. All your bridesmaids really have to do is come to a couple of dress fittings then turn up on the day. It’s also not for everyone and not always considered a “huge honour” to be asked to be a bridesmaid to a lot of girls so don’t put any pressure on anyone to do it if they don’t seem keen to start with. Personally I hated every second of being one and wouldn’t ask my worst enemy let alone my so called best friends to do it! People’s free time is precious to them and they don’t want it taken up by helping out and planning a wedding and why should they?! It’s our wedding, our choice to get married so we should just get on with it between us without expecting everyone else to be as excited or want to help out.

I've been engaged 3 years and were marrying next year (didn't plan a long engagement but life happens) I finally asked my first bridesmaid last week (the only original girl I was going to ask)

I did plan to ask them at the engagement party with little gift bags with cards & wine etc... and glad I didn't now as its silly to rush it

in the 3 years since proposal 4 girls I was going to ask are now gone from my life (2 where SIL that broke up with our brothers, 1 is a friend who moved far away and wont be coming to the wedding due to distance and 1 just disappeared from my life) and new girls have entered my life who I want to ask