How do you choose your bridesmaids???

I chose people who wouldn't irritate me - so my sister and a good friend. My good friend dropped out because she felt too fat after she broke-up with her partner, and Mr Ash's cousin (who also doesn't irritate me) stepped in.

Firstly congratulations on your engagement! Picking bridesmaids can be tricky, but I'd say the most important thing is to choose people who you know will support you, help you and be enthusiastic throughout you wedding planning and on the big day itself! There seems to be far to many threads on hitched of b2bs having various issues with their bridesmaids at certain stages of wedding planning; falling out/not committing to dress shopping/not liking the dress chosen for them/not planning the hen do....the list is endless. Also think about the cost implications as well, if you and your OH are paying for everyone's outfits, having 6 bridesmaids gets expensive! Its not just the dresses and shoes to pay for, but bouquets, hair/make up and transporting everyone to the wedding venue(if you aren't getting ready there the morning of the wedding).

Just a quick thought but could you ask F1 to do a reading?

As the others are saying don't feel obligated to ask someone just because they are expecting it (something my OH had to remind me).

Being a bridesmaid is actually a lot of work - dress fittings, hen party planning etc so consider who you can rely on/trust and hopefully that will help.

x

You are likely to be spending a lot of time with whomever you have as bridesmaids. Key things I thought about were who would be able to support me in my wedding preparations (but not take over), be able to give me honest advice when trying dresses on (without being mean/brutal), be organised/reliable/trustworthy and someone who really "gets" me (i.e. understands what kind of day I would want). If you have any doubts about asking a particular person then I would take that as them not being right for the job! Hope that helps x

My choice was easy, I have 2 best friends so it was always going to be them. They need to be people who will support you, people you love enough to help you choose your dress, get you into your dress, potentially help you go to the toilet, be there as a sounding board through the planning, etc etc. The kids is easier as they're just there to look cute or be included, we didn't have any kids.

I regret choosing mine as soon as I did. I wish I'd waited after I got engaged to start looking at things. 2 of my best friend's that I asked to be my MOH's rarely reply to my texts, calls, don't come along to anything I invite them to etc. The other 2 can't do enough to help me. I'm sure it'll change nearer the time, but at the moment it's putting a real strain on our friendship and a lot of pressure and negative feelings on me when it should be a happy time!

I also wouldn't ask someone just because they're expecting you to. It's your wedding, not theirs.

The main bits of advice I would have is:

1. Don’t rush into it – weddings can bring out the best and worst in people and someone who you thought would be a brilliant BM may not be as good as you originally thought when things such as fittings, hen weekends etc are needed
2. Stick to your guns – I wish I’d been more forceful (I’m a bit of a people pleaser) and when 2 of my friends put me on the spot and asked if they could be BM’s (never even considered having them before that) I just said ‘yes’. Don’t ask someone because they are expecting it – you need to choose people who you feel will support you throughout planning and the day (and reign in any bridezilla tendencies lol!)

As others have said, if you don’t want F1 as a BM – try and involve her in some other way such as a reading.

Perhaps you could do that thing where you write all the good points and all the bad points down to see what you come up with? ?

I'm not having any bridesmaids ☹️ We only have 20 guests which are all family members but the only 2 options I have from these are my SIL and my FSIL. Unfortunately I don't have a very close relationship with my SIL and while I get on pretty well with my FSIL, I know she is very unorganised (she was late to her own wedding lol) so I didn't think I could handle the stress lol

Thanks everyone... I'm still undecided..... I did ask one of the two friends to be my MOH as she was so great with us getting engaged and decorated our house for us when we got back from holiday etc and I felt it was the right thing to do. I'm not sure about my other friend still.... it's so difficult!

Although now my MIL is stressing me out... god help me when I actually have a venue and a date and need to organise everything for real.

Going venue looking in 2 weeks and dress shopping for the first time at the end of the month. Exciting!