Glum ATB (WP Related)

Sorry to hear that, it is a bit pants. I only had 1BM and ended up organising a lot myself, but that was fine as I am a fairlyrgansied person anyway and my BM was having a difficult time in her personal life.

A good friend would be your BM regardless of babies btw. I don't get why some people are so rude when it's such an honour to be asked in the first place?

Can I be your BM? Oh pleasy pleasy please?????

(Not really, obviously, since you don't know me, (I'd still do it, any day!) but I bet there are LOADS of people who would be honoured, delighted, thrilled and chuffed to bits to be your BM. Ignore the nay-sayers - you deserve SOOOO much better.)

Don't let this get you down. Its your big day and you should be enjoying all of it including your WP. Did the first one give you a reason? have you told either of them how you feel? If they are your best friends then you should be able to tell them how they made you feel and you will probably find that they will be mortified. Some people shy away from the limelight. A friend of mine asked her best friend to be MOH and she turned her down because she did not want everyone staring at her or drawing attention to herself on the big day.

Its sad that you are crying when you should be over the moon.............I hope you resolve things x

Dawn

My sister was my only bridesmaid and my nephew was 5 months old at the wedding, having a baby so close to the day never even crossed her mind.

screw 'em. have a hitcher wedding!*

*I know this isn't a realistic alternative, and I hope your friends realise what they are doing x

This may well be a blessing. Rather they say yes to appease you and then 6 months in you started having issues. Have your 2 cousins and have no regrets! Bridesmaids can be huge pains in the butts at times.

Thanks, I think I'll just have Otter bridesmaids and be done with it eh!?

One of them is PG at the moment (baby will be over a year old by the time wedding comes around) and said that she won't be bringing it to the wedding anyway, but I feel she'd still stick to her decision and suggest others who could do it instead. The second one if I told her how upset she'd made me would probably say "if you want me to do it I will" but obviously don't want to be forcing any of them into it!

I've just this second had an email asking me to make some personalised glasses the same as I did for a friends hen night, for another friend's in a few months. I want to reply and say "no, f*ck the lot of you, I'm doing nothing else for anybody elses f*cking wedding or hen party"

You don't sound like the kind of person who lets people down. You sound like a great friend. Dont let anybody change you!

Hire? I'll do it for free! (Competitive bridesmaiding!)

Oooh you could hold a selection process, similar to the Apprenctice.

Tasks include

Getting a very drunk ATB home on her hen night

Finding the perfect pair of wedding shoes

Making 200 favours in half an hour

Finding an absolutely appropriate Groom's present for under a tenner...

That's really mean of them! They've forgotten what it's like, obviously.

If I was you, I'd ask my workmate...it sounds like she knows what friendship is all about.

I will also make myself available as an Otter BM ?

That's so sad, I'm sorry ATB ☹️

I've always thought of being a BM as an honour, not a duty IYKWIM.

It's their loss, your cousins will be amazing.

And, well, I'm free if you need another ?

I love this idea!

Another task could be maneuvering ATB dressed in various styles of wedding dress into a toilet cubicle

I think you could fill the church with your Otter b.maids! :-)

could your friend have also blurted that out drunkenly? maybe if you aks her when your both sober you'll get a better reaction!

a friend of mine is getting married on Saturday and all 3 of her b.maids are pregnant, all 3 at different stages!

If your 2 friends are part poopers then focus on your cousins and how excited they are about it all!! :-)

Sorry to hear this especially when they are close friends, you at least would think they would be there for you as you have been for them and on your special day.

I hope they realise and come back to you with a more positive outcome.

Thanks for advice, yes I think I will just have my two cousins and save any more upset. I wasn't asking my two friends soley because I'd been their bridesmaid (I don't think that should be a hard and fast rule) rather that they are my friends of 30 years and I expected them to be there for me.

I don't doubt that cometh the hour my friends will muck in and help out, they just don't want the 'official' role. I also have to admit that I'd wanted more 'normal' bridesmaids with me as my cousins are both totally and utterly stunning, tall and slim. Don't want the photos to look daft with a short, fat, fugly bride in the middle of them!

No way ATB. You will look stunning and gorgeous an no one will even notice the BMs as all eyes will be on you!

Err yuck yuck, get the fluff remover, quick!!!

You will be the only person people are looking at in the photos and will look AMAZING lady so less of that nonsense!! (I had a similar feeling tho as my two bms are slim, tall, big boobed tanned ladies so I felt I would like a flat chested pale little boy in comparison!! haha)

I would also like to apply for role of Bridesmaid please ?

ATB, I am sorry to hear that your friends have let you down, hopefully they will have a think about what they said and realise that they could have been more honoured to be asked!!

Please don't let this mar your planning experience, you have lots of Otters who are here to help you!

That's horrible for you ATB ? Mine were a bit crap, they assumed being a BM meant me buying them a pretty dress and nothing else.

I feel really disapointed on your behalf, 30 years is a long friendship and I am not sure how your friends could say that! Still your cousins will hopefully do you proud and you will look beautiful regardless of who is standing next to you!!

I had no bridesmaids. It was all about ME.

I'd consider it a massive honour if I was asked to be a BM, I think it's really selfish for everything you've done and not return any of the effort.

More importantly, I'm pretty certain every hitcher here would be your BM!

I thought by having 1 BM I would eliminate the stress. In fact, her dress was far more faff to sort than mine and she decided about a month before the wedding she wanted a different dress. By that point I just told her to buy whatever she wanted to wear as I was past caring. Otter BM's would be stress free, more fun and definitely not let you down! I'm also available for free hire ?

This is what is most upsetting - they are usually interested and would do anything for me too, so I don't know why they are acting like this ☹️

Thank you all you lovelies, ofcourse you all will be honourary Otter bridesmaids x

Maybe you can have some proper otter bridesmaids if Footlong really gets savvy with photoshop?

I always picture you as Katherine Heigl so in honour of that I think you should have us Otters in a selection of your 27 previous bridesmaid dresses .. It will be fantastic!

Sorry your friends have let you down, I would be upset too. Unfortunately not everyone is as caring as you and weddings seem to bring out either the best or worst in people as many of us find out.

I think you should hold hitched auditions for a hitched member or two to take on the role!!

I'm sure you'll be inundated with applicants ?

This with bells on.

I will be your BM if you are stuck- love a good wedding me.

In all seriousness, thats pretty sucky behavior from your friends though. Will you talk to them about it though?

I will one of them. I'm going to ask her if she was serious when she said that and that it upset me. I'll judge her reaction if it's genuine if she says she was only joking, and if she says she'll do it, I'll see if it's only because I'm upset or if she was drunkenly joking she'd not do it. Still the damage is done though, I doubt she can go back on her decision now. Won't wreck our friendship or anything but I'll let her know I'm hurt and let down by her.

Totally agree....they should be honoured you asked. Being pregnant has nothing to do with it, get the dress changed/altered! Sounds like they don't deserve to be ur BM anyways xx xx xx

It is annoying how rubbish and selfish some people can be. I have noticed it with my wedding and other peoples wedding how useless and thoughtless some people can be despite getting a world of effort and support for their own wedding. But it somehow all magically gets forgotten about. One girl has asked a few times where l am thinking of having my hen and made it clear she doesn't like the place. The funny thing is l wasn't planning on asking her so it really won't affect her!

Can I joing the back of the queue for being your BM?

It does sound really shitty and you deserve much better from your friends but I do think it's better that you're seeing it now rather than when it's too late. I no longer speak to my MOH very much, I had doubts about her being my MOH at the time but it was just one of those things that was kind of an unwritten rule as we'd been friends for so long she was always going to be my MOH. I wish she hadn't been now and she's plastered on most of my photos.