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clarksuz
Beginner May 2013

Who is paying for what?

clarksuz, 20 of June of 2012 at 22:21 Posted on Planning 0 35

I've just had the budget chat with my OH and we sort of came up with this:

Us
Church
Wedding dress and bits
Bridesmaids
Groom and groomsmen
DJ
Rings

My Mum and Dad
Marquee
Photographer
Stationary


Groom's Mum and Dad
Flowers
Food

35 replies

Latest activity by icklelea, 22 of June of 2012 at 22:43
  • princesssaraht
    Beginner December 2012
    princesssaraht ·
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    My mum and dad:

    my dress, shoes and accessories

    reception (including wedding breakfast)

    OHs Mum and Dad:

    Cars

    Flowers

    DJ

    Coaches for guests

    My sister:

    Cake

    OH nan:

    Video

    Us:

    Everything Else!

    In total, its about 50% us, 40% my parents, 10% everybody else

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  • *Funky*
    Beginner January 2001
    *Funky* ·
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    Us

    Everything

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  • Tizzie
    Beginner June 2012
    Tizzie ·
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    This!!

    We didn't want to take money off of anybody as we wanted to do everything our way and didnt want to feel if they had paid for it, they could decide everything for us.

    S x

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  • T
    Beginner July 2012
    Thursday Bride ·
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    Us - everything

    I am paying for the event (eg venue, catering, my outfit & bridesmaids, flowers) and OH is paying for the "bling" ie wedding & engagement rings

    Honeymoon is a present from OH parents but we are paying for our mini-moon

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  • Mrs-HFA
    Beginner December 2012
    Mrs-HFA ·
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    Yip, us too!!!

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  • DaffodilWaves
    DaffodilWaves ·
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    We paid for most of our day.

    Mum bought my dress and MIL paid for our hotel room on our wedding night x

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  • xMissyLoux
    Beginner September 2012
    xMissyLoux ·
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    We're paying for mostly everything!

    OH's parents are giving us £1000 which I haven't allocated to anything specific, will just be used when we need it!

    My mum is giving me £146 which is to cover what I've gone over budget on with my dress and accessories!

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  • Aurora Borealis
    Beginner June 2013
    Aurora Borealis ·
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    My parents are just going to give us a set amount and we will just use it wherever needed (probably all those dreaded final payments that occur at once).

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  • Missus S
    Missus S ·
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    We had huge arguments over this. I thought, our wedding, we will pay for it. H and his family are old fashioned and thought my parents should pay the lot. In the end we paid but had a £1000 given by my parents and his bought the cake and out some towards. I dont think you should expect anything.

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  • J
    Beginner August 2013
    Jessie_bride ·
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    50/50 with my parents and us. His parents aren't contributing (or haven't said they will yet)

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  • FaeBelle13
    Beginner April 2013
    FaeBelle13 ·
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    My Dad will be paying for pretty much everything - only because he completely insisted, I was fully prepared to pay myself. I will be buying the little bits and bobs that I see but he will be getting all of the major things.

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  • venart
    Beginner June 2013
    venart ·
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    Well, it's always interesting to see how the two families think it should be done.

    In the past my mum has always given a set amount of money to her kids for their weddings (I'm the 4th and final to get hitched, as I'm the baby). Ant's parents have previously split the cost of the wedding three ways between sets of parents and the couple.

    So, my mum is giving us her set amount, and Ant's parent are giving us a third after the fact, which means that we will be paying slightly more than a third of the wedding cost. We aren't splitting things up, as we ourselves will be paying for everything, and the money from our parents will be given after the date as a wedding gift. I know we're very lucky to have such supportive parents, I'm trying to think of something meaningful to get them both other than just fancy wine (total winos, all of them!), but nothing yet.

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  • anothermrsjones
    Beginner July 2012
    anothermrsjones ·
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    My parents are paying for the reception (venue and food etc) and Mum is making my dress and bought the material for it.

    OH's mum bought us the cake, flowers and table decorations

    We are paying for everything else.

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  • (Claire)
    Beginner July 2011
    (Claire) ·
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    We didn't expect anything to be paid for us, I was looking around for a second hand wedding dress when my mum told me that her and Dad wanted to buy my dress. Then we were given a large sum of money from OH's parents (they'd gave his brother he same amount for their wedding the year before) so with that we paid for our entire reception, our church, the photographer, the cars and the band. We are eteranlly greatful to everyone who helped us out but we never presumed that we would be given money.

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  • Knees
    VIP August 2012
    Knees ·
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    We were told we'd have a set amount by both sets of parents at the start but it hasn't been allocated to anything specific. We've paid for all the deposits and smaller things but then have used their money to pay for the venue, our flights out there, rings etc.

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  • HLT
    Beginner August 2012
    HLT ·
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    We have had contributions from both my parents (they're divorced), OH's parents and my gran which just about covered the costs of the venue. My mum has helped pay towards my dress and and the bridesmaids dresses. The rest we are paying for - gulp!

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  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    We paid for everything, but the money that we received in gifts from everyone unexpectedly paid for our Honeymoon.

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  • clarksuz
    Beginner May 2013
    clarksuz ·
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    This is a good idea. I wonder if our parents will go for that. I didn't expect anything from them but they are both very generous and have been asking what they can help with. My Mum initially said that Dad might not want to spend too much as he is careful with his money - so when we had the chat the amount he was willing to go up to was loads more than I expected. We are very lucky and blessed.

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  • rachel2012
    Expert June 2024
    rachel2012 ·
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    My parents have given us a set amount and then we are paying the rest, we have also just stuck there money into the savings account and are spending it where we need to.

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  • cookiekat
    Beginner August 2012
    cookiekat ·
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    We budgeted for paying for everything my dad since asked if he would give me money for my dress and pay the TOG.

    Have you asked the parents if they want to pay for anything? Do you know how much things will cost and if they can afford it. Have you allocated additional funds for prices differences. What if your folks think you should pay no more than £500 for a photographer but you afll in love with a £1000 photographer.

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    We were very lucky. We paid for half the wedding and both sets of parents split the other half.

    We didn't allocate their contribution to specific bits though.

    Echo Cookie's questions - have you actually had a discussion with your parents as to how much they want to contribute?

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  • Mrs C
    Beginner March 2011
    Mrs C ·
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    We paid for everything ourselves... or that was the plan until my mum bought my dress and paid for the VOG as a present.

    Has your split been agreed or are you assuming that they are paying?

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  • clarksuz
    Beginner May 2013
    clarksuz ·
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    Oh yes, yes and yes. Well we haven't asked for money, they have offered. Budget has been done and we know how much my parents are willing to give us so have allocated costs accordingly, OH parents not sure yet but they keep asking how they can help we just keep getting interrupted so haven't finalised things. And yes most things are coming out more than we thought so we will be paying for any outstanding costs if they come to above and beyond parents are willing to pay. I have not found a photographer for less that £1200, but then wedding dresses are not as expensive as I have originally thought. VAT is a killer tho :o/....

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  • Sparkly Momma
    Beginner November 2013
    Sparkly Momma ·
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    As it stands we are paying for everything except the venue hire which my lovely Daddy is sorting. I anticipate a lump sum from my OH's parents as they did the same for his sister and are always very fair with things.

    Knowing our families I would imagine some of the elders will want to pay for bits here and there (flowers, TOG etc) and also that my Mum will probably want to pay for my dress.

    We are not relying on an any of this but it really would be helpful- especially with a young family!!

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  • Sparkly Momma
    Beginner November 2013
    Sparkly Momma ·
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    As it stands we are paying for everything except the venue hire which my lovely Daddy is sorting. I anticipate a lump sum from my OH's parents as they did the same for his sister and are always very fair with things.

    Knowing our families I would imagine some of the elders will want to pay for bits here and there (flowers, TOG etc) and also that my Mum will probably want to pay for my dress.

    We are not relying on an any of this but it really would be helpful- especially with a young family!!

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  • weemee
    Beginner July 2012
    weemee ·
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    Our original plan was to pay for everything ourselves and have a very small do. My mum offered to pay for the flowers and my Dad offered up £1500 - now raised to £2000. My Da rules! We can now have a few extra guests and stuff, so that's pretty good. OH's family contributing nothing. In fact, we've had to pay for their hotel and flight because they left it faaaaaaaar too late to book the flight - would have been £100 odd cheaper EACH if they had've got their lazy assed finger out. Sorry. Rant over.

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  • MrsBtobe1980
    Beginner September 2012
    MrsBtobe1980 ·
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    Hi, we are paying for our own wedding....although both parents have offered to pay for things along the way

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    My dad- Reception

    Me= the rest.

    (note me, not us)

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  • S
    Beginner July 2013
    swcbride ·
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    We are paying for everything and splitting the cost 50/50. My Mum has offered to pitch in, but we've declined. I'd much rather that money goes towards her grandchildren rather than one day in our lives!

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  • S
    Beginner September 2012
    Soon2bMrsMay ·
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    We are paying for everything except the honeymoon that oh's parents are paying for.

    My dad is contributing personal details, such as doing paintings for us to decorate the room and a guest painting, for people to sign.

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  • twobrides
    Beginner
    twobrides ·
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    We're paying for everything. If my dad offers anything then i'll ask him to help with the honeymoon as his gift to us, but that's it.

    It's stubborness mostly. We both want to do it our way and know we saved up every last penny- it's why we're waiting so long.

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  • *Funky*
    Beginner January 2001
    *Funky* ·
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    Couldn't agree more ?

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