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04 Sep 2018

Guests Slams Bride For Children 'Begging' At Wedding

by helen@hitched

Weddings are expensive to throw and it's not unusual to look to save yourself some pennies here and there.

However, one wedding guest took to Mumsnet to question a "weird" scenario that happened at the wedding of a seemingly very generous couple.

The poster said she was at a "fairly lavish" wedding where the bride had her six and seven year old nieces as flower girls.

"There was an announcement after the wedding breakfast that, as a thank you for their flower girl duties, they will be going around tables collecting money in their money boxes," she wrote.

"They then went round with their Mum, an older bridesmaid, and basically begged from each table.

"There were about 80 people there, 8 on our table and we all gave (because how can you say no to a 6yo!) anything from £1-£5 each.

"AIBU to think this is a bit weird and basically begging?"

The guest pointed out that it's expected for the bride and groom to get the girls thank you presents, but it was the first time she'd ever heard of the guests having to pay up.

"I think they could have skipped the candy floss stand, or one of the numerous other things they'd brought in, and used the money to buy the flower girls a present themselves?" she reasoned.

READ MORE: Cute Flower Girl Gift Ideas

Horrified fellow Mumsnetters struggled to see how the couple could have thought the "crass" and "inappropriate" request was acceptable.

"That's so horrific! I hope it doesn't catch on.. Isn't the idea is that the bride and groom get them a keep-sake gift as a thank you? Not classy at all...," said one user.

Another complained, "Incredibly crass. And grabby. What an awful thing to teach children, to essentially beg for money after participating in a wedding ceremony which should have been an honour and a privilege! Not a chance to grab yet more from the guests!"

"That is so inappropriate. A £5 piece of jewellery is a thank you - why are the guests thanking them?," asked user hidinginthenightgarden.

One poster said it was traditional at Scottish weddings to give money to younger guests but never a demand.

"Omg. Shocking. We are half Scottish and when we go to a Scottish wedding or the Scots come down here (for family weddings, kilts are worn), they usually put a few coins in the kids sporran, but I've never heard of kids going table to table asking for money," she wrote.

READ MORE: 23 of the Cutest Flower Girl Dresses

One poster tried to look on the bright side: "Whaaaat..... That's so grabby! I would be shocked at that. Were people muttering about it as it happened? At an absolute stretch I can imagine one greedy person suggesting something like that but I can't ever imagine how this was planned... I just can't imagine someone ever suggesting something like this and other people actually agreeing to do it!! So odd... They have no shame clearly!

"Oh well a funny memory you can look back on and laugh at I suppose?!"

What do you think about the couple asking guests to give money to the flower girls? Is this a new tradition you'd like to see catch on or see the back of? Let us know in the comments.

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Published 4 Sep 2018 9:19 by helen@hitched
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