Ladies and Gentlemen,
Before I start, I have been informed to speak slowly and clearly due to the hard of hearing...and the Welsh, so this speech will now take 20 minutes instead of five. You can all thank Natalie for this.
Thank you all for coming here today for this very special occasion. For those who don’t know me, I’m Stephen and I drink Morgan’s Rum and coke.
I would like to take this opportunity to say what a fantastic day it’s been, a lovely ceremony and Natalie, you look absolutely stunning. Alistair, thank you for taking the day off work! Congratulations to you both. It has been a very emotional day; even the cake is in tiers!
When Alistair had exhausted all other options and decided as a last resort to ask me to be his best man, I jumped at the chance, quite literally – out the window and ran down the road. No way is anyone getting me to stand up and make an unfunny speech in front of loads of people who I don’t know and even worse, for those that I do know. But there he was down on one knee begging me to say yes – a bit like how he proposed to Natalie. With those big puppy eyes how could I say no – now I know how Natalie felt on the day he popped the question!
A wise man once told me that the best man’s speech should last as long as it takes the groom to make love...So thank you all very much ladies and gentlemen, have a great day!!
So Alistair and Natalie you’ve finally got married, for better or for worse, which is quite appropriate as Alistair couldn’t have done any better and Natalie couldn’t have done any worse.
I met Alistair at an athletic club in 1986, don’t laugh but yes we were once both athletes back in the day. I got chatting to him when his brother Colin and I used to lap him on our long distance runs, just briefly as we passed him again and again and again and again. We soon became friends and have never looked back.
I found it very difficult to come up with a speech and have a laugh at Alistair’s expense due to the fact he has very rarely done anything wrong. In fact if you could think of someone who puts everyone in front of himself and do anything for anyone then Alistair is that person. Apart from making me stand up here in front of you all. For that he will not be forgiven.
He doesn’t do anything by half, does our Alistair. When he decides to do something he puts his heart and soul into it, athletics, hockey, football, golf and eventually cricket. Unfortunately for Alistair, they have yet to invent a sport that he is good at.
So when he told me he was going to Wales to get a bird, I shouldn’t have been at all surprised when he came back with his very own SPARROW (her second name) and not some old crow.
I know a lot of people here are probably wondering just what does Natalie see in Alistair? Well I have known him for long time and to be fair…I don’t know either!
One of my last duties before I toast the happy couple is to read a few cards...
To Alistair and Natalie , hope you have a wonderful day, sorry we can’t be there lots of love Charles Farkin, Mary Farkin...and the whole Farkin family
I would like to, on behalf of the bridesmaids, thank Alistair for those kind words and to also pass on my personal thanks to the bridesmaids for a job well done in getting Natalie here on time...I heard she put up a helluva fight.
I would now like to personally thank Alistair, it really has been a great honour to be your best man today, you are more like a brother to me than a friend.
So on that note, before the waterworks start, ladies and gentlemen, it gives me immense pleasure, to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses...in a toast to Alistair and Natalie, the new Mr and Mrs Gray. We wish them well for the future, and hope they enjoy a long and happy marriage together
To Alistair and Natalie.