Speech by Mark Hamblin

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Mark Hamblin
Speech Date: Aug2006
Now before I get started, I'd like to make sure everybody can hear me….can you all hear me?

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Mark and for those of you that do … well I apologise.

Firstly I would like to welcome you to this special celebration of Steve and Lindsey Marriage.

Now Before I hand you over to the father of the bride I would just like to say a big &quotThank you&quot to the bridesmaids ………..… , flower girls
…………….… – and page boy ……………… because they have all done a marvellous job in helping Lindsey, and look fantastic!!!!…Agreed.

Indeed they are only eclipsed by Lindsey herself, who, I'm sure you'll all agree, looks absolutely stunning today.

Steve, on the other hand, just looks stunned.

Actually Craig the Usher look great today and did a great job standing at the door I do have a reputation for rabbiting on, so I will try and keep this as brief as possible.

JUST REMEMBER THE MORE YOU LAUGH THE SOONER ITS OVER.

I will hand u over to the father of bride Garth to say a few words &ltBREAK&gt I will hand u over to the father of Groom Roy to say a few words Now the moment u all been waiting 4 The Groom &ltDJ Play theme of Space Odyssey &ltBreak&gt Now I will read a few cards which steve and Lindsey have requested that I read To Steve and Lindsey I'm Sorry I could not marry u myself so I got one of my mate s to do it, but best wishes on your special Day

From the Pope ………………..…
Congratulations on your special day we will miss u All the girls from the fanstay loungeXX Other cards

Main Speech

Before I begin Lindsey would u place your right hand on the table, steve would u place your left on top of Lindsey. All will be reviled in good time.

Firstly though, before we go any further, I'd like to thank the Vicar for what was a truly lovely service..… Steve did tell me that the vicar was firmly against sex before marriage. However, Lindsey did assure him it would only take a couple of minutes.

I can confirm to you all that last night he slept like a baby………that is he wet the bed twice………..and woke up several times crying for his MUMMY!
I have never been a best man before, and I am not renowned for my speech writing, But I'll try my best, ”cause Steve said if I do a good job today, I can be Best Man at his next wedding, too. Just kidding. The only problem we've seen so far is that Steve and Lindsey had a bit of an issue with the seating plan, because they really couldn't decide where ever I should sit. So Steve, in his true fashion, decided to link it to the wedding present list He decided to put those who brought the biggest items nearest the front, and work back from there……………So Paul pause and look around at the back for Paul Steve and Lindsey wanted to say thanks for the oven glove!

When I got married 2 years ago I had Steve to be my best man, I play a rotten trick on him in the night, which I still feel bad about to this day.

I made him think that he had 5 numbers on the lottery, Nearly everyone in the room new about the prank apart from Steve, Well Steve you have got the jackpot to day mate, I wish both of u a long and happy life together.
In life, its difficult to imagine Morecambe without Wise, Torville without Dean, Del without Rodney, Romeo without Juliet and of course Steve without Lindsey.

Now as I mentioned, it is a great honour to be Best Man, but with the role comes the job of writing this speech, and to be honest I wanted to make the process as easy as possible. So where do you begin for ideas?
The obvious place seemed to be the Internet, so with a multitude of resources at my fingertips I dutifully began searching the web.

After a couple of hours searching I found some REALLY good stuff on the net, but ….then I remembered I was supposed to be looking for Best Man tips!!!

I did actually find LOADS of ready-prepared speeches on the internet.… but sadly, NONE of them were about a couple called Steve and Lindsey ….so it looks like it's down to me after all.

As part of my research I discovered that according to tradition I am supposed to SING THE GROOM'S PRAISES and tell you all about his MANY good points. Well, I'm very sorry but I CAN'T SING, and I WON'T LIE Lindsey's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Thank God you married her before she found one!

Seriously though Steve, you are a lucky man you've got Lindsey. She's beautiful, smart, funny, warm, loving and caring.
And Lindsey, you've got…………..Steve.

Instead of stories you will have to listen to my martial advise instead. I'm not sure I'm the best person to dish out advice! But I do have the following words of wisdom for the happy couple.

1. Firstly, set the ground rules and establish who is the boss: Then do
everything she says

2. Married life can be compared to football. So be fully committed every
week and make sure you score every weekend. Make sure you change ends at half time and put your tackle into hard or you might injure yourself However, Lindsey assures me that playing away from home, will result in a serious groin injury and is definitely the quickest way to get on the transfer list.

3. Remember the 5 rings the engagement ring, the wedding ring, the
suffering, the tortureing and the enduring

4. Don't forget if u buy her flowers, she knows your guilty, and she will
remember to the second the last time you bought her some … and the reason why!

It has been an honor and a privilege to be the best man today. Thanks again for letting have the job! And I honestly couldn't wish for a better friend to be best man for.

I think you will all agree that today steve truly is the best man and apart from Lindsey being the most stunning person in the room, she is also the luckiest.

Now it gives me great Pleasure to ask you all to stand and raise your glasses for some very important people, with out them the day would not be the same,

Would raise your glasses in my toast to

The bar staff!!

Now in case any of u are wondering why I asked Steve to place his hand on Lindsey's. I will tell u now, Steve as my final role, it is with great pleasure that I have been able to give you the last 5 minutes in which you will ever have the upper hand on Lindsey.

May your love be modern enough to service the times and old fashioned enough to last 4 ever.

If you would all be up standing in my toast

To the new Mr and Mrs Massey

STEVEN AND LINDSEY

Would and one else like to say a few word……..…

I wish the happy couple well, and every to have a great time…
By the way mines a Carling.

The End.