In an age where the average cost of a wedding is rapidly rising to the £20,000 mark and stories of severe wedding planning stress are rife, it is perhaps time to take a look at why such a potentially enjoyable experience becomes a burden to so many.
We often hear of brides who can’t eat or sleep properly as the stress of planning takes its toll. There are reports of family feuds, irrational behaviour and the once sensitive, sensible person being transformed into the bridezilla she never wanted to be.
What can you do then, to ensure that it doesn’t happen to you but instead, you enjoy these months before you marry, planning one of the most significant days of your life?
It’s depends on your attitude, approach and perception of what your wedding is all about…
Your wedding is, in every sense, a creation. Piece by piece you bring together elements that will eventually be identified and remembered as your wedding day. You face one of life’s great opportunities to truly express yourself before an audience of people who love and care about you. It’s an enviable place to be!
You have a choice of either putting together a day that is authentic to who you are or have a wedding that fulfils others expectations and/ or sets out to impress.
Authentic means ‘of undisputed origin.’ Therefore an authentic wedding will
1. come from you
2. represent you
3. capture your essence as a couple and as individuals
4. communicate your intentions
5. radiate your energy
6. reflect your personal style
7. be connected to you and you to it
The result is a wedding that has meaning, feeling, warmth, poignancy, beauty and above all, heart and soul.
The seven step check list above will help to keep you on track in creating a wedding that is truly from the core of who you are and align with your values, beliefs, hopes and vision.
When you aim for something that is honest, genuine and true you will be surprised at how positive your experience can be. It will still be a challenge and there will be setbacks but your sense of achievement from creating this day that is an extension of you and your life will put you on a GREAT BIG HIGH!
The opposite is true of planning a wedding that is driven by the need to impress and responds heavily to outside influences and expectations. Instead of your wedding coming from you, it comes from outside of you and therefore your creation is less personal and more of a show for the benefit of others.
Inevitably there is less fulfilment and satisfaction to be had from putting together something that is remote from you. This is a draining task that takes more than it gives. The wedding that is big on celebrity style but short on substance can leave you feeling empty, confused, disconnected and anxious. This is when many people feel their sense of self gradually ebbing away and with it, their sanity and ability to deal with things.
Keep it real! Planning a wedding that is truly yours will replenish and reward you and you will touch the hearts of your guests, for all the right reasons.
Copyright Lesley Stratton Hughes 2007
Lesley Stratton Hughes is a pre-wedding life coach who helps people to create their authentic wedding, overcome anxiety and stress and prepare emotionally and psychologically for the transition from being single to married. Visit www.gettingmarriedinsideout.co.uk for more information, inspiration and support for your wedding journey and to find out about coaching.