Should parents who pay for a wedding be given control?

One of the biggest concerns people are often faced with when they decide to tie the knot is money. Decades ago when it was more common for couples to get married at a young age, it was the norm for the father of the bride to foot the majority of the wedding bill. That soon changed to include the groom's parents too, but the overriding attitude was that the young bride and groom themselves didn't have to pay.

Essentially that was because they often started out so young. Many married couples today will tell you that they said their I dos when they were still teenagers, so of course they would not have had the money to fund a wedding.

Although it is not quite as prevalent in today's society as it once was, it still poses serious issues for the husband and wife-to-be in question. For example, when it comes to families in which money is not abundant, the parents will help out as much as they can. They might pay for the reception or the flowers or the wedding dress - but not the entire soiree. But, when parents with thousands in the bank intend to provide the whole affair, there is always the risk that they might take over.

In this case brides and grooms will have to reach a compromise with their parents, agreeing to give them a certain level of control. No one wants to hand the reins of their own wedding planning over to their mums and dads whose tastes and values are likely to be starkly different, so agreeing where to draw the line is important.

Deciding whether parents have a say in who to invite to the wedding that they are paying for is likely to be a major hurdle. They might want to invite distant relations and family friends who the couple have never even met, instead of people who they are genuinely close to.   

Choosing the wedding venue and reception itself could be an issue. If the parents are paying for it, they may feel as though they have a right to decide such matters themselves, including everything from food and drink to entertainment and accommodation.

Couples who find themselves in such a position should feel very lucky - a wedding is an expensive affair with the average costing upwards of £11,000. But when compromising on decisions, it is very important not to lose sight of the fact that it is your own special day.

The tone of a wedding should be an expression of the bride and groom's personality. Whether they want a grand and elegant day or a relaxed and chilled-out vibe, the key is that they feel comfortable in their own skin, so bending to the wishes of parents - or wedding planners for that matter - is never a good idea.

As with a marriage and all relationships, compromise is key. Unless you are happy with handing over control to wedding funding parents then do not agree to let them pay for the entire affair. Perhaps suggest they pay for certain aspects and allow them creative control, so that way everyone is happy.