|
Simple Duties:
|
|
You make the bed
|
+1
|
|
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows
|
0
|
|
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets
|
-1
|
|
You leave the toilet seat up
|
-5
|
|
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty
|
0
|
|
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex
|
-1
|
|
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom
|
-2
|
|
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings
|
+5
|
|
But return with beer
|
-5
|
|
You check out a suspicious noise at night
|
0
|
|
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing
|
0
|
|
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something
|
+5
|
|
You pummel it with a six iron
|
+10
|
|
It's her father
|
-10
|
|
Social Engagements:
|
|
You stay by her side the entire party
|
0
|
|
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy
|
-2
|
|
Named Tiffany
|
-4
|
|
Tiffany is a dancer
|
-6
|
|
Tiffany has implants
|
-8
|
|
Her Birthday:
|
|
You take her out to dinner
|
0
|
|
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar
|
+1
|
|
Okay, it is a sports bar
|
-2
|
|
And it's all-you-can-eat night
|
-3
|
|
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night,
and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team
|
-10
|
|
A Night Out With The Boys:
|
|
Go out with a pal
|
-5
|
|
And the pal is happily married
|
-4
|
|
Or frighteningly single
|
-7
|
|
And he drives a Mustang
|
-10
|
|
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED)
|
-15
|
|
A Night Out:
|
|
You take her to a movie
|
+2
|
|
You take her to a movie she likes
|
+4
|
|
You take her to a movie you hate
|
+6
|
|
You take her to a movie you like
|
-2
|
|
It's called DeathCop 3
|
-3
|
|
Which features cyborgs having sex
|
-9
|
|
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans
|
-15
|
|
Your Physique:
|
|
You develop a noticeable potbelly
|
-15
|
|
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it
|
+10
|
|
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts
|
-30
|
|
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too"
|
-800
|
|
The Big Question:
|
|
She asks, "Do I look fat?"
|
-5
|
|
You hesitate in responding
|
-10
|
|
You reply, "Where?"
|
-35
|
|
Communication:
|
|
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a
concerned expression
|
0
|
|
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes
|
+5
|
|
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV
|
+10
|
|
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep
|
-20
|
