My dad won't go to the doctors :( worried.

My dad is 65, he has smoked since he was young. 

He has had a cough for about the last 18 months that is like a dry cough that's like he's clearing hi throat. It seems to get worse when he is outside walking and at night. 

He is generally fit and well but at Christmas last year, he woke up boxing day morning spoke to my mum as normal, went down stairs and came back upstairs and said he has just seen all the wrapping paper but couldn't remember anything of Christmas. 

I went round to their house and started questioning him about what we had done the day before, what I had bought him, what he had bought for my mum etc and he had a blank glazed look and couldn't answer anything. 

I was worried he had had a mini stroke so took him straight to A&E and they did bloods, gave him a scan etc but couldn't find anything wrong apart from a slightly reduced blood flow to the brain which they said is normal at his age. 

They released him with no follow up or anything and called unexplained temporary amnesia. Things did start to come back to him by the 27th dec. 

So anyway... Thats not directly linked BUT there is this cough. 

He went to his doctor and the doctor told him to take honey and lemon and he hasn't bin back since and refuses to go back. 

He says he isn't worried but he obviously is because he has cut down from 20 a day to about 3-5 and he will leave his tabacco pouch in the car if we go out for the day so he can't smoke. 

I have told him it could be COPD and he may just need an inhaler, my mum has asked him to go. I have asked him to go and so has my sisters. He just won't hear it. 

Why are men so bloody stubborn and Wont see a doctor!!! 

Seeing an advert on TV about if you have had a cough for more than 3 weeks you should see a doctor as it could be linked to lung cancer which is a huge killer that people don't know about really scares me.

I can understand he might be worried but I just don't know what to do :(((( 

He needs to go to The gp, this is what happened to my mil. She had a dry cough for ages (maybe 3 months) I kept telling her to go, everyone else said 'you know what she's like she won't go' so I turned up one day, literally marched her to the car (I told her id booked a gp appt but I hadn't it was open surgery but at least it got her there) anyway she had an xr but nothing was visible due to infection so she was goung for a repeat X-ray but over the next 9 days she began vomitting, had slurred speech and unsteady on her feet. She again refused to go to the dr and h had to actually get her out her chair and take her to The car as she point blank refused. Anyway at my work (a&e) they scanned her head which showed brain tumour secondary to something and I knew straight away it was lung cancer. Her chest was scanned the next day and showed lung cancer primary. She's 58 but diagnosed last Ugust when she was 57. She's got weeks left to live now but remains totally in denial about everything, it's an absolute nightmare. She accepted chemo but she refuses to turn upto some appointments refuses to see the mac millan nurses but I honestly think its because she's so frightened iyswim

would your dad go to the gp If you went with him? Mil will only go if someone takes her, it could be many things but a persistent cough for that long needs checking out. We tried baby steps with mil for example saying to her lets just see what the gp says and take it from there which she agreed to. for you as I know how steesfull it can be when A relative won't see the dr xc

I am 1 handed and the other baby is due to wake so will be quick. Please feel free to pm me further. I am currently on Mat leave but usually work with heart and lung patients. COPD is one of my specialties but I wouldn't want to say anything without a proper examination of your dad which I can't do over the internet!!

The cough will be linked to the smoking but without seeing your dad I can't say to what extent or how. When people give up or significantly cut down smoking they can develop a cough which can be like you described. It could be a chest infection that is taking longer to go away because he smokes, it could just be "smokers cough".

Also, yes he could be developing COPD. COPD is a lung disease that won't be cured by just having an inhaler. It is directly caused by smoking but would need to be prperly diagnosed with tests. I would see if your dad could go back to the docs, I know you sdaid he won't but maybe one of you go with him. One of the practice nurses should be trained to carry out basic lung test called Spirometry whihc can indicate what kind of issues might be going on with him and I would expect with your dads history for the GP to suggest this. Depending on where he lives he might go to a special clinic or the hospital for further tests. The minimum is actually 3 inhalers but the best thing he could do is give up smoking which is easier said than done!!

Sorry, both babies crying but I did only concentrate on the cough part of your dad and not the other. It could be anything, which doesn't help at all but that is why he needs to get checked out. Men, they are rubbish at going to the docs, aren't they. to you

I don't want to worry you, but please get him to get it checked out. My uncle smoked for 45 years and this time last year he had a persistant cough for several months, coupled with weight loss. He wouldn't get it checked out though as he was scared. My Auntie finally convinced him to go to the doctor last july and the doctor had him admitted to hospital that morning with suspected lung cancer. He died three weeks later. Of course there are no guarantees they could have helped him had he gone earlier but he would have at least had a fighting chance, and my auntie and cousins would have had more warning and time with him before he died.

Maybe tell him how worried and scared you are (mention the advert maybe) and see if he will go to the doctor for you, just to put your mind at rest.

I have tried everything, I have tried playing it down saying it could be a chest infection. My mum has mentioned cancer etc. 

I have offered to move him to my GP, offered to book him an app.

My mum has tried to be nice, tried to be pushy. Told him he's being selfish and he has a young granddaughter and daughters to think of (my E LOVES her Grandad) 

He just refuses. 

I have just text him saying "dad I really think you should see your doctor about your cough, it won't hurt to get it checked" he replied - please stop going on, don't you start as well, I've had enough listening to it. So I replied "well go then we will all stop moaning" he replied - had enough, cheers. 

What ever the last text means! Stop going on I think. 

I am worried about cancer, it's so frustrating. Why is he being so selfish. Why won't he just go! 

:( 

I might just change him to my GP and book him an app and take him there by surprise but he gets so defensive! I just don't know what to do. 

Can a GP request to see someone? He's being such a stubborn PITA. 

What's his own gp like? Tbf if he's refusing everything then really a gp can't step in and demand he has investigations, if he was confused ir not if sound mind then thats a different story but it sounds likeky that he is aware if what hes refusing iyswim. Would it work If you said to your dad that you had actually booked him a gp appointment, could you make out that if he canceled the appointment he woukd be wasting the gps time (this works with hs grandad who woukd hate to think he was being a nuisance so he goes for flu vaccines as we arrange the appts but if we didn't he wouldn't go iyswim).

it sounds like maybe he's just frightened about starting the ball rolling. What about baby steps? So say that you will collect him at x time and go to the gp, he can at least chat to the gp and then it's up to him what he does, so you have at least got him to the gp and he might agree when the gp speaks to him. My mil is a night mare, she's totally in denial so the poor mac millan nurse (who is lovely) phones and mil will hang up, she refuses to answer the door to her too. She has been given a pay out by her work due to retiring through ill health, she refused to go to any meetings with them then phoned me giving me 10 mins notice that I had to take her and could I come in with her to make sure they were giving her the right amount as a pay out!!! As I say I think it's all fear though, I think it's the symptoms every smoker dreads

Thanks CP - Sorry to hear about your MIL cp. it is sad. It must be a lot of pressure on you and your H. 

He doesn't get on with his GP, he said he is a kn0b! He said that last time he asked him about asbestos but the GP wouldn't have any of it and said thank you very much, got up and walked out!

Not quite sure what actually happened or if he's using it as an excuse.  

Thats why I keep offering to change him to my GP. 

I will speak to my mum and see what she says. My dad is so laid back but is being quite defensive and aggressive about this. He must be scared. 

I might change his GP to mine, speak to my GP about seeing him and make an app for him and then send him a fake letter requesting to see him!

He needs to know for his own peace of mind. It could be nothing serious!

I've just read an article on the BBC saying a campaign is starting urging anyone who has had a persistant cough for more than 3 weeks to see their GP. Hopefully he'll see the adverts and it'll make him think again. xxx

I Didnt realise he has seen them today so my mum and my sister started moaning at him today and then I text him as well. I think it's really annoyed him! 

I will leave it a few day and speak to him again x

You've had some really good advice on here but i didn't want to R&R.

As frightened as you are about this turning out to be cancer, your dad will be more so and may have decided in his head this is what it is so what is the point in getting it confirmed. The reality is it could be a number of different things as HeartNurse has pointed out which could be easily treated or managed in the long term. Give your dad a chance to get over being nagged at by the three women in his life and then explain this to him: maybe something along the lines of, this could be a chest infection which you're not shifting, why don't we see if there's any antibiotics the GP can recommend so at least you can get some sleep at night and peace during the day because we won;t be on at you? If you get him to the Gp and the Gp recommends any other tests you will then have a battle to get him to attend those so baby steps is the only way forward - you need to save the big guns for when you have the potentially bigger battles.

Good luck and use us to support you as and when you need us. IRL I'm a cancer information specialist so any questions PM me xx