my sister wants to announce her pregnancy

my sister told me yesterday that she is pregnant. Its really early and other than me and her husband nobody knows. She will have had her scan and be just past 3mth at the time of our wedding in June. She wants to tell the family in personn and asked if I minded her doing it at the close family only lunch the next day. I'm overjoyed that she is pregnant and said of course that was fine. As long as she doesn't do it on my wedding day I don't mind. However she doesn't want my OH to know till then either. I mentioned to her would she tell him first but she wasn't keen. I'm not sure if thats fair as its still at his wedding events. I'd like your thoughts on this. Should I keep her confidence and trust that he wont mind? How would you feel?

If it's part of the wedding then I don't think it's unreasonable for him to know. Otherwise she can wait for a more appropriate time.

I think this is the kind of thing only brides mind and worry about.  I know my OH wouldn't even think to be bothered about it.  It's such happy news!  I honestly don't think grooms would generally mind even if it was at the actual wedding or before!

I think it's really unreasonable of her to expect you to keep it a secret from your OH if she's planning to use your wedding celebrations as a platform to tell everyone. My groom would be furious.

Or you could pretend you didn't know?  I'm not sure why she'd want to keep it from him though, maybe she doesn't trust him to keep it to himself?

I hate trying to keep secrets from my OH.  He is my best friend and we tell each other everything!  The only exception to this is my dress!!  (O and presents).  Follow your gut instinct, after all he is about to become your husband!  If you can't trust him who can you trust!

you've just summed up how i feet totally. I'm really pleased she's told me but I feel like I might burst thinking I've got to keep it secret for so long Especially when we knew they were trying. One of my bridesmaids asked me yesterday about it and i had to lie. It felt weird but obviously theres no way I would tell her at this stage. But she's already got morning sickness and is worried work will notice. I just don't think I can hide it from my OH. Maybe I can hold it in for another month. Let her go to the midwife etc first. But I'm not sure I can hide my excitement if he brings it up. I think what I'm askin you guys isn't whether its ok for her to announce it at the next day lunch but more giving myself permission to tell my OH without feeling I've betrayed my sister.

I'd give it a week or so, then ask her WHY she doesnt want your OH to know?  Does he gossip within the family, is he likely to blurt it out, is there a reason she doesnt trust him?

  SHe is prob caught up in the emotion of finding out, the hormones, morning sickness etc.   It puts you in a very awkward position though, between your sister & OH.  If you had the same news, would she be able to keep it from HER OH?  I'm sure if the tables were turned, she woudlnt keep it her herself, & neither should you be expected to. I dont mean its ok to tell the whole family, but if she cant trust your OH, then I'd want to know WHY?

I would tell my H2B, I would hope he would tell me.

If she wants to use your wedding to announce her happy news then I think your OH should know in advance as you say its his day too. I'd tell her you don't mind keeping it from him until nearer the time( maybe the eve of your wedding) but you think it is only fair to let him know before hand to see if he has an objections to her announcing it during what is such a big event in his life.

Personaly i would tell my oh and make him keep it secret, i think it unfair for her to expect you to keep this from him. although i can't imagine my oh finding out my sister is pregnant and being that bothered, certainly not to the point that he might spill the beans. Plus i would proberly only tell him after a few drinks at the wedding anyway as keeping a secret from him on my wedding day would make me feel a bit yucky and other way around i would be quite annoyed he didn't trust me.

emze2011:

Personaly i would tell my oh and make him keep it secret

haha this is probably what I would do, but I think that's a reflection of my relationship with my sister really!

Most of the time when I tell anyone something 'secret' if they are part of a couple I tend to assume they will talk about it, as OH & I talk about everything  ;)

Blonde Viki:

emze2011:

Personaly i would tell my oh and make him keep it secret

haha this is probably what I would do, but I think that's a reflection of my relationship with my sister really!

Most of the time when I tell anyone something 'secret' if they are part of a couple I tend to assume they will talk about it, as OH & I talk about everything  ;)

I would to my OH too!  I don't keep anything from him so why would I keep that a secret from him too??  

I don't think your sister should expect you to keep secrets from your future husband, particularly when she wants to announce it on what is his special day too. She surely should have asked both of you together. I think my OH would be a bit annoyed if I kept something like this from him and it was announced on the wedding day - it isn't all about the bride.

She doesnt want to announce it on the wedding day, but at the family lunch the next day. It is fine by me as that day is more about being a family together rather than about us as a wedding couple anymore. Im glad she asked me but I genuinely dont mind. I dont think my OH will mind either but I do mind keeping it form him.

I think as suggested I will let it go for a few weeks. My OH is away for two weeks anyway. Then maybe I'll tell him but get him to keep his mouth shut. I really cant imagine he would tell anyone. He works away a lot so doesn't come in contact with my family much. I dont think he'll see any of them now till the week of the wedding.

I certainly couldnt lie if he asked me directly

Thanks everyone for your advice