Totally random - what whould you do?

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• 11-Mar-2010 10:15

  Totally random - what whould you do?

  Mitzi50 Joined on 11-Nov-2008 Posts 2,292

  Contact Morning all! So completely randomly I get this message through facebook from some girl I dont know, but she is dating a very old friend of mine, and the message says - "This is really random...but i just have to ask you as im just really curious...did anything ever happen with you and NAME before i was with him?!" Thats it. Now a bit of history for you... 7 years ago - I was working with NAME and I really really felt for him, but he was with someone else and I never told him how I felt. A year or so later things fizzled out with him and his girlfriend and after that we got closer, by this point I would go so far as to say I was in love with him, and his feelings developed and when he finally came round to realise I was more than his mate we started dating, we were taking things slowly, and a few weeks later I was offered a job working abroad and it was the opportunity of a lifetime, so I accepted it. We tried long distance and that didnt really work and so we ended the relationship, it was really hard for us. I worked abroad for a long while and when I came back I was with my OH and he was dating this girl. I tried to meet up with him when I came back to the country as before it all we were great mates, but she told him he wasnt allowed to see me, then we werent allowed to be friends on facebook. Blah blah blah. So fast forward to present time, almost 4 years later and here we are and I get this message. What would you do? ...Call NAME and tell him about the message, email her and tell her the truth, ignore it all....its completely random as we are so many years down the line! I havent seen him since before I left the country. I dont even know if they are still together - although one would guess from the message that they are, and his FB pic is a pic of them both. Sorry im rambling now but I dont know what to do... x ' Married 25th June 2010

• 11-Mar-2010 10:19

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  delvesje Joined on 15-Oct-2008 Posts 1,161	Contact I think I would do one of two things. Ignore her, or text back and say that as it was before she was on the scene, its none of her business, and suggest that she talks to b/f.

• 11-Mar-2010 10:20

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  woo-woo Joined on 22-Sep-2009 SCOTLAND Posts 1,139

  Contact Hi Moya I would send NAME a mail telling him to pack his bags and head for the hills, what a bunny boiler!!! On a serious note though I personally wouldn't get involved, I would be inclined to ignore the mail and block her, clearly she's rather insecure so if you tell her the truth she won't like it and if you lie she will no doubt disbelieve you. What a freak!!! x March 2002 August 2007 Baby#3 due January 2011

• 11-Mar-2010 10:21

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  Houdini Joined on 17-Mar-2009 Posts 7,219	Contact I think I'd ignore it. I don't see that there is any good to come out of you responding to this message or telling him that she has contacted you. I would stay well out of it!

• 11-Mar-2010 10:22

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  MrsRToBe Joined on 03-Mar-2010 Posts 37

  Contact Hey Moya   That's a really strange thing to do. Especially so long after the fact. If it were me I'd probably reply to her, seems she must be a bit insecure about their relationship. Having said that, I would probably let Mr NAME know about the message too, if she's emailing people about him I think he has a right to know. Ignoring it might seem to her like you have something to hide. That's just what I would do, probably no help at all! Good luck

• 11-Mar-2010 10:22

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  Notts Lass Joined on 28-Jul-2009 Posts 4,134	Contact Hi, if it was me I'd ignore it completely. It's in the past, so I'd leave it there. It is a bit strange she's asking as it's so long ago and in the grand scheme of things does it really matter?? I wonder what she's trying to find out though, seems odd to be dredging up the past! A 'respectable' married lady since 08/05/2010!

• 11-Mar-2010 10:25

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  Max2607 Joined on 04-Feb-2009 Manchester Posts 4,455	Contact What a bunny boiler! I would probably write back and say you dated ages ago and you have both moved on and if she wants more info she needs to speak with NAME. Maybe he talked about you and she thinks something is still there (on his part) But if you arent in his fb friends she's actually gone to the bother of looking you up!! xx

• 11-Mar-2010 10:27

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  bringon2010 Joined on 26-Nov-2009 Posts 347

  Contact WAOH THERE!!!  W-I-D-E    BERTH!!! She sounds like trouble.... Especially since she stopped him seeing you when you came back from abroad... (weirdo..) I'm sure he knows what she's like and is probably under the thumb / a bit scared of her, so leave them to it. Don't get involved in slagging her off to him - that wouldn't serve any constructive purpose - would stoke the fire if anything. If you must get in touch - a quick messgae back to her politely asking her to ask her boyfirend if she has any issues with his past. He's the one she should be talking to about it - not you. (hope it all works out)

• 11-Mar-2010 10:31

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  FunkyDiva Joined on 05-Feb-2010 Posts 463	Contact I would just ignore it. It is a long time ago and none of her business. If she really wants to know she should speak to her bf.

• 11-Mar-2010 10:31

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  Stazzle Joined on 20-Feb-2007 Dartford, Kent Posts 2,313

  Contact I think putting myself in your shoes, what I would most likely do is contact NAME and just explain that she's sent you this message and should you just ignore her? I think I would feel that he should know that she's emailed you - not sure why! I'm not sure whether this would be the 'right' course of action - as others have said, you may be best to just ignore it, but I think that's what I'd probably do - get his point of view and then either reply or ignore depending on what he said.

• 11-Mar-2010 10:35

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  brideseekingblush Joined on 14-Sep-2009 Posts 1,878	Contact I would ignore - getting involved in other people's relationships is a bit of a no-no. Might be worth messaging NAME and telling him - and saying you don't plan to respond?

• 11-Mar-2010 10:36

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  Gillsy Joined on 20-Jan-2009 Ayrshire Posts 3,657	Contact Moya, I'd probably ignore it too.  It was such a long time ago and you've moved on and are getting married now.  It not worth the time and effort to reply and get involved in whatever issues this girl seems to have with her OH. Just my opinion

• 11-Mar-2010 11:13

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  Mitzi50 Joined on 11-Nov-2008 Posts 2,292

  Contact My initial thought was to ignore it, i mean we are talking 5 or 6 years ago and its not really any of her business what happened between us, We have both clearly moved on so much since then, so why would it, or should it, even matter what happened between us!? I can understand maybe a little if we still saw each other but we dont. I dont want to reply to her...i mean what a nutter!! We dont even know each other and its long before they met so what difference could it make if we did anything or not!? Then I  thought should NAME know, would I want to know? But then I really dont want to get involved. I have my life and neither of them are part of it so its nothing to do with me really. oh I dont know, i think your right, I should probably just ignore it. OH thinks I should ignore it too. x Married 25th June 2010

• 11-Mar-2010 11:16

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  delvesje Joined on 15-Oct-2008 Posts 1,161	Contact Well listen to your head and your o/h and ignore it.

• 11-Mar-2010 12:17

  Re: Totally random - what whould you do?

  drifter Joined on 20-Oct-2008 Posts 2,804

  Contact   Personally I would ignore it  If you have no contact with NAME I wouldn't even tell him. Her contacting you suggests their relationship is not as setteled as it might seem and you don't want to get dragged into that.   Put it out of your mind and if she contacts you again just tell her you don't think it is appropriate or relevent considering how long ago it was. If she wants to know she should ask NAME.   Sometimes social networking has a lot to answer for!