Did you relationships with parent change?

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• 10-Mar-2010 10:32

  Did you relationships with parent change?

  Steelgoddess Joined on 05-Aug-2007 United Kingdom Posts 1,266	Contact After you had baby? i sometimes feel like my Mum only contacts me to find out how my son is, before I had him I remember she would sometimes go 3 weeks without calling/contacting me. IM not jealous of my son at all but sometimes it really ticks me off!

• 10-Mar-2010 11:07

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  *Dust* Joined on 30-Sep-2003 United Kingdom Posts 14,546

  Contact I haven't experienced this but then it's different because my mum looks after Izzy every Friday.  I have noticed that she used to be all over Izzy at family events but now my sister G has a 4 motnh old she's all over her.  It makes me a bit sad for Izzy but I think it's probably normal and Izzy and I have to get used to her not being the center of attention . I can understand why it would tick you off. Name changed from angeldust I - April 2007 J - June 2010

• 10-Mar-2010 11:10

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  Elliebell Joined on 09-Mar-2010 Posts 83	Contact I really miss my mum. She is now just a Grandma and we never talk like we used to :(

• 10-Mar-2010 11:11

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  MarineGirl Joined on 19-Apr-2006 United Kingdom Posts 12,476	Contact No change for us - we weren't close before, we aren't close now! I don't think it means your mum is more interested in her grandson than she was in her daughter.  It's just that things change SO fast with a small baby - so weekly updates mean a lot.  Whereas with an adult, generally not a lot has changed, so such frequent updates aren't as necessary.

• 10-Mar-2010 11:28

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  Raspberry Fizz Joined on 18-Aug-2006 United Kingdom Posts 3,601

  Contact There has been no change for us so far and I really don't think that there will be any change. We spoke every day before C arrived and we still do the same now he's here.  Although calls can be cut short, we maybe don't speak for as long due to C needed fed/changed etc. I agree with MarineGirl, it's an exciting time when a new baby comes along and I'm sure your mum just doesn't want to miss out on any developments.

• 10-Mar-2010 11:45

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  cherry pie Joined on 27-Nov-2006 United Kingdom Posts 12,799

  Contact yes definetely. we were not particularly close before, for example we wouldnt go shopping together or go for lunch etc but we chatted most days and if i had concearns then id turn to her. since late pregnancy she has really only been concearned about Lucas (im not jealous of my own son, i hope i dont come accross like that, just trying to portray how she is now) a few examples L was born by GA section, when H told them that id had a rough time etc, my mum and dad said, but at least the baby is ok, she will get over it when my mum and i speak she will generally only ask about Lucas.  i answered the phone, id lost my voice, and she said OMG is the baby ok, hes not poorly is he, i dont mind if you are poorly, but i dont want him becoming ill i couldnt actually tell you the last time my mum asked how i was or how my day was #1 01/09 7lb1oz #2 11/10 #3 02/12 6lb10oz

• 10-Mar-2010 11:54

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  EmsieS Joined on 23-Sep-2005 United Kingdom Posts 3,859

  Contact Ours has. Mum and I are really close even though she lives over an hour away we chat 3-4times a week about anything and everything, Since I arrived though her first question is always "hows my boy?" which irks me for some reason (I suppose because he's my boy and that's silly!). It's the little things that have changed - I've noticed how quick she is to judge and thinks that she knows best all the time and can't enter into a discussion if she's not right. She also pushes H out or runs him down for no reason. I think it's just an age/generation thing that she thinks he will be like my Dad was i.e. the traditional, leave it to the women Dad rather then the Dad that H is i.e. hands on and very involved. It upsets me that I have to stand up for him so much. Also, even though she doesn't see I for weeks at a time she thinks that she knows exactley what to do with him and won't listen to what actually works even though we are his parents and spend 24/7 with him. All that said she is brilliant and I love her to pieces and can't wait to see her tomorrow! 03.09 - 14 days late 09.11 - 12 days late

• 10-Mar-2010 11:59

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  Steelgoddess Joined on 05-Aug-2007 United Kingdom Posts 1,266	Contact Few! Glad im not the only one, maybe i feel a bit extra sensitive today, i hate letting things bother me!! xxx

• 10-Mar-2010 12:05

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  bookgirl Joined on 05-Jan-2006 United Kingdom Posts 5,336	Contact With my parents it didn't. My brother and sister now pop in and text a lot more! PIL call a lot more and in fact SIL came up to visit everytime they did in the first few months, despite barely spending any time with H or me when we visited them in the past.

• 10-Mar-2010 12:09

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  lambi Joined on 17-Feb-2008 United Kingdom Posts 9,576

  Contact Yes and no. Mum rarely listens to anything I'm saying anymore, I'll be in the middle of a sentence and she'll start blowing raspberries at E, my mil is the same. My fil is just the same. My dad spent more time with us but think that was just because I was around more as not working and that was a good thing, our relationship didn't change though really as we did the same things when I was pg.   February 2009 - 36+0 - 6lb 12oz - Emergency CS August 2011 - 39+2 - 8lb 13oz - VBAC

• 10-Mar-2010 12:15

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  Daydreamer Joined on 07-Jan-2005 United Kingdom Posts 3,424

  Contact I'm pregnant so it will be interesting to see if our relationship changes at all. My parents live in ireland and we talk about 3-4 times per week by phone. I have noticed though that since I've been pregnant, my mum calls me more whereas before I used to make the majority of the calls! And most of the calls do start with 'So how's baby?' and s/he's not been born yet! Isaac James born 21.04.10 weighing 5lb 1 oz Born at 38 +3 weeks

• 10-Mar-2010 13:01

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  loobyg Joined on 10-Jan-2008 Welsh Wales Posts 11,028

  Contact definately! my mum calls more often now but to check on how i'm doing as much as Sarah. She has lived in Spain for the last 10 years and I nver missed her - since I had sarah i miss her and feel a lot closer to her. Pre sarah we could only spend a day or so together before getting narked off and fighting - now I can spend weeks with her without fighting! Its odd but I really like it! Sarah May, 26th October 2009 Connie Rose, 16th July 2011   Hand painted nursery art at http://kidscanvases.weebly.com/

• 10-Mar-2010 13:30

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  pinkluvlylady Joined on 11-Apr-2004 United Kingdom Posts 4,101

  Contact SteelGodess, I feel the same as you. My mum gives all her attention and praise to my sons, she does ask about my pregnancy but generally she's not very loving towards me or close/comfortable and we are very different people. She is critical  of me more than caring, even though I know she loves me. I think thats why I am desperate to have a girl as well, so I can be a good close mummy to my daughter.

• 10-Mar-2010 14:32

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  El11 Joined on 06-Mar-2009 Posts 2,798	Contact We were never that close before and are probably less close now. They made is clear that they wanted a grandaughter, not a grandson and that really wound me up. They don't like my H and don't like the fact that DD looks like him. They are only interested in her when it suits them and disappear when she is being difficult/ I could do with a hand, etc.

• 10-Mar-2010 14:44

  Re: Did you relationships with parent change?

  jelly baby Joined on 22-Feb-2005 United Kingdom Posts 17,952

  Contact Gosh yes.  I live approx 2 hours away from my mum, we lived here for 3 years before Zoe was born and she visited twice.  She has been over every month since Zoe was born a year ago ! Part of that is probably because she has retired so has more time, but she adores Zoe so I think even if she was still working she would visit more often. Apologies for lack of capital letters - Zoe has stolen my shift key