• Manage your budget plan
    You are currently on budget !

    My budget: 10000

    My Cost so far: 7,800

    Create a free budget plan to organise your finances!

    • Manage your budget
    • Keep track of your spending
    Manage my Budget
  • Manage your to-do list
    Manage your to-do list You have 0 outstanding tasks!
    Tasks Complete: 32 Tasks Outstanding: 0

    Create a free personalised to-do list to help make your planning easy and fun!

    • Free step-by-step plan and time-line
    • Fun and manageable task list
    Manage my To-Do List
  • New competitions to enter
    You have not entered any competitions

    Make sure you check back regularly as we are always adding new competitions.

    View Competitions Page
hide

Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

Join the conversation!
Register for free or sign in to chat and get advice from other brides-to-be.

Page 1 of 2 (19 items) 1 2 Next >
Sort Posts: Previous Next
  • Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    I don't know where they've gone, or how long they've gone for.  I tried to stop him but didn't want Z to see us screaming so there wasn't much I could do.

    All because of a stupid arguement that I needed some help.  We have no food in the house as we've been away, I did a big Tesco order last night and today H decides to announce that he's just going to eat baked potato and salad as he's going on a diet.  I said that I'd bought the food for the next two weeks and he told me that he's got to eat healthily - it's not the meals I cook that are the problem it's the huge packets of biscuits, at least 3 packets of crisps a day that he eats that he should be cutting out !!

    I then asked if he could look after Zoe so I could tidy up as the house is an absolute tip.  All the Christmas presents are dumped on the dining table, there are toys all over the floor and we have no where to put them.  I have been doing constant washing - of supposedly clean clothes - since we got back from ILs as everything reeks of cigarette smoke.  Literally I have done 4 loads since yesterday afternoon !  I asked H if there were any things he particularly needed as we're going away again tomorrow and I was prioritising what went in the tumble dryer.  I don't know what he heard but he went upstairs without saying anything and then handed me a pile of dirty washing.  I just dropped it as had clean washing in my arms and asked him what he was giving it to me for.  He said I'd said I was doing washing .... I'd just finished the last load and have no idea where all this came from.  I asked him if he could help by taking out the stuff that was in the tumble dryer so I could put the stuff in my arms in (tumble dryer in garage) and he replied with "I thought you wanted me to look after Zoe, make up your mind, any more orders for me". 

    If I don't ask him to do things he doesn't do anything.  Yes, I had a lie in this morning while he got Zoe up and dressed (well he didn't dress her she's still in her babygrow).  But that's all he did.  He got her breakfast and left all the dirty dishes on the side rather than emptying the dishwasher and putting them in it.  He sat on his laptop while she at her breakfast. 

    He doesn't seem to realise that when looking after Zoe it's not just Zoe it's the other things that need to be done. I started saying this and got "oh, here we go again" - I saw red and we started arguing at which point he said that I wasn't fit to look after Zoe.  I heard him moving around upstairs but I thought they were just playing but he's come down with Zoe and a bag and taken her off in the car.

    I don't know where they've gone, when (or if) they are coming back.  I'm NOT an unfit mother, I'm really not.  I can look after Zoe.  I can.

    Apologies for lack of capital letters - Zoe has stolen my shift key Huh?

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    Dont let him get to you.  Its just a stupid argument (that we all have regularily) hat has gotten out of hand and he has stormed off in a huff.  I am sure he will be back in a few hours when she gets moany and tired!

    Usse the time to chill out

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    Awww Jelly baby Hug

    I'm certain that your H didn't mean what he said, probably just the heat of the moment and all the christmas stress. I'm sure he will be back soon to clear the air x


      Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    Sounds like the kind of arguments H and I have every so often when things build up and you end up saying things. Like Mrs JKN has said I am sure he will be back in a few hours and everything will be back to normal. Hope you are ok xx

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    You're not an unfit mother, you don't need to tell us that - I am sure they will be back soon.  You have my sympathies as your H sounds alot like Mr SS!

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    You certainly are not an unfit mother.  It really sounds like one of those arguments where you both need to let off steam and say things you don't mean.  They always seem to happen in the Christmas come down. 

    Does he have a mobile?  Would it be worth a text to check where they both are?

    Hope you're OK Hug

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    I'd leave him to cool down for a bit, he'll soon be home

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    1

    i'm sure you area fab mum - maybe he will realise how much work it is looking after her whilst he is out sulking! I don' think men realise the time LOs take - if Iask H to hold sarah whilst i go do something he says 'jst put her down' - yeah, then she'll wake up and i won't be able to get the washing on/dinnr cooked anyway! I'm only asking him tocuddle her whilst he is sitting on the sofa anyway! big hug heading your way xxx

    Sarah May, 26th October 2009

    Connie Rose, 16th July 2011

     

    Hand painted nursery art at http://kidscanvases.weebly.com/

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    Oh JB! You poor love. 

    I really don't think Dad's understand what it takes to be a full time SAHM. Mr Rusty has certainly seen everything that has to be done whilst he's been at home over Christmas. 

    I'm sure they've just gone out for a couple of hours. Use the time as best you can to get on top of things. I'd love it if Mr Rusty took Matilda out for a couple of hours so I could tidy up! 

    Hug

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    Big Hug. maybe a few hours looking after Zoe on his own will make him realise how hard it is. I'm sure he'll be back soon enough - as the others have said do something else while he is out - housework or better still relax!

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    MrJB sounds like a right tool and not just from this post tbh. I just hope he's remembered to pack a nappy this time... Wink

    MrV is unfortunately v. similar in that feeding J breakfast means carnage in the kitchen, weetabix welded to the highchair, random gobs in his hair etc etc. All while MrV watched Deadliest Fecking Catch or something while absently spooning more weetabix into J.

    At least MrJB knows to take a bag, MrV still doesn't know to check for nappies and water etc before going out anywhere.

    Oh and I don't need to say it but there's no way on earth you're an unfit mother (they'd not be bothered about fag smells on clothes for a start!!!)

    Hug

    Do you have any wine?

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    You are not an unfit mother and both you and your OH know it. 

    In fact its a good thing that he has taken Zoe, let him see just how hard work it is! 

     

    He is behaving like a dick, in a completely irrational stupid manner. Sit down put your feet up and wait for him to come home with his tail between his legs when he realises how hard it is looking after a child. 

    "The miracle isn't that I finished, the miracle is that I had the courage to start" 

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    Hug Sorry you are having to go through thisKiss

    Click to find out about my avatar

    My blog: http://dontbesillydear.blogspot.com/

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    wodger_woo:

    You are not an unfit mother and both you and your OH know it. 

    In fact its a good thing that he has taken Zoe, let him see just how hard work it is! 

     

    He is behaving like a dick, in a completely irrational stupid manner. Sit down put your feet up and wait for him to come home with his tail between his legs when he realises how hard it is looking after a child. 

     

    WSS

    JB, from all of your posts on here you sound like a wonderful mummy. You know that he's in the wrong and I just hope he realises it too Kiss

  • Re: Apparently I'm not a fit mother and H has taken Zoe

    • Penelope
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 11-Oct-2004
    • United Kingdom
    • Posts 387

    Hugs from me. Not sure how old zoe is but this is similar to dozens of arguements we've had, esp when ours were younger (now 3yo and 18mo). Men really seem oblivious about the workload of children. You are right, it's all the background cleaning and preparation that takes the time, not just the actual mechanics of shovelling food into an open mouth. My H once told me, when I was caring for a newborn and toddler single-handedly and had PND, that he didn't like phoning me as I never had anything 'fun' to say! Seriously, men and new babies are a bad combination IME, which is why I'm sticking with 2, any more and we'd be divorced.

Return to: Baby Talk
Page 1 of 2 (19 items) 1 2 Next >