What would you change about BT and its posts?

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• 03-Nov-2009 13:24

  What would you change about BT and its posts?

  Madonna Joined on 30-Sep-2003 United Kingdom Posts 23,861

  Contact I've got a right cob on today. Blame the hormones. And I don't give a rats arse if this ends up being controversial. I love this place. I love the people. The people collected together by this place have got me through 5 years of good, bad, and ugly, and I stay to pay it forward as well as get more support now I'm PG again. When I'm here, I laugh, cry and learn. The RL friends I've made are wonderful, and I hope to make more. There are other baby/child forums and other communities. Most are not my cup of tea - I'm too long in the tooth to start anew and explain all my history a zillion times. To you guys, my other family, I don't need to and that's so liberating and comforting. The Deadwood http://www.thedeadwood.co.uk/baby-talk-f6.html is of course a fab forum, which has hived off a large number of community members for all their own good reasons. I miss them. I'm sad that they want to go somewhere else but here. But then i won't be here forever, will I? As I read posts on here and on there (I lurk there occasionally), I am however picking up digs from each side about the other, which pisses me right off. Both forums could be improved, behaviour and posts from both sides could be improved. Digs about hearts, tickers, fluffiness etc aren't helpful IMO. Not everyone on this BT is fluffy or twee. Digs about suspecting sabotage from one place to another aren't helpful. Not everyone on DW BT gives a hoot what we do back here any more. I wanted to start a post to allow people to list their niggles about BT and its posts (NOT the people), and get them off their chests. Then maybe we can all move on, in whichever forum we choose to go/stay, knowing that we've aired our stuff and hopefully highlighted any behaviours that are upsetting anyone particularly, so everyone can get on with being part of their chosen community and supporting everyone else. I'll start. I would technically change BT a bit, but then I remember when the Purple Place was yellow and I still wish it was like that in function. I miss a simple search, for a start. I would agree a convention for the use of hearts, if that's bugging people - if we're only to use them for BFPs and BAs, let's all agree and communicate it (we have the Wiki list of dos and don'ts, after all. Please use paragraphs and spacing. I won't mock spelling and grammar over content, but paragraphs would really help. I would remind people that you only get from this place if you give too. If we all make an effort to reply to posts with no replies, even if just to bounce, that's going to help someone, some time.   Gah. I don't know if I even know what I'm trying to say. I'll probably end up ridiculed from all sides for this, but I don't care. I'm just upset that people can't just live and let live on whichever forum they are. I won't post this on DW simply because this is where I want to be right now and I have no business soliciting changes to a forum I don't participate in particularly, though I've never been made anything but welcome there. Inspired by Sofie, Milo and all my angels, most recently Joe http://www.justgiving.com/JoeDonn/ Ideas and donations welcome x

• 03-Nov-2009 13:31

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  kelly29 Joined on 07-Aug-2009 Suffolk Posts 1,342

  Contact I tend to use BT here and OT on DW, however I don't think the perceived "rivalry" (for want of a better word) between the two forums is necessarily about the posters on the respective forums. That is, I don't think those on DW have an issue with those who choose to post on here, but rather have an issue with Hitched. I know that there have been jokes on DW about sabotage, but I have taken these to be tongue-in-cheek and assumed that nobody has actually gone ahead and attempted anything. Perhaps there are certain threads that I have missed though? Actually joined in April 2008 but Hitched wiped my profile on 7th August 2009....

• 03-Nov-2009 13:33

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  Snowball Joined on 09-Apr-2004 United Kingdom Posts 5,810

  Contact I think for me, there are too many segments like the different trimester threads. I don't have the inclination to do personals so tend not to join in and I don't feel I can post any questions or comments without making the effort to go through and mention everyone else first and I think this is a bit sad.   Harvey born 7 October 2005 - 11 days late - 6lb 10oz Hugo born 25 April  2010 - 12 days late - 8lb 8oz Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. — Ferris Bueller

• 03-Nov-2009 13:33

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  Madonna Joined on 30-Sep-2003 United Kingdom Posts 23,861	Contact No Kelly, I agree, it's digs, they just pee me off. Such a waste of energy IMO. But then this place CAN be improved through the community, if we need it to be. No-one's perfect!   Inspired by Sofie, Milo and all my angels, most recently Joe http://www.justgiving.com/JoeDonn/ Ideas and donations welcome x

• 03-Nov-2009 13:34

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  Hecate Joined on 17-Feb-2005 United Kingdom Posts 14,595

  Contact I stopped posting here on the main - apart from the TTC thread - because it seemed by a lot of people all take, take, take. What has been so sucessful about Hitched BT in the past is that it has such a sense of community - that we all help each other out and I just don't feel like that is happening anymore. I feel like you do Madonna and would love to stay here but I'm not sure how things can be changed.   Emily ~ September 2006

• 03-Nov-2009 13:35

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  Madonna Joined on 30-Sep-2003 United Kingdom Posts 23,861

  Contact Snowball the tri threads are very long you're right, and I can see how they are intimidating. But then what would you suggest? Before we had established tri threads we had loads of individual posts which annoyed people, plus there can be a really nice community on the tri threads (I remember when I've been on third tri it's been particularly fab). What would you suggest? Inspired by Sofie, Milo and all my angels, most recently Joe http://www.justgiving.com/JoeDonn/ Ideas and donations welcome x

• 03-Nov-2009 13:37

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  Madonna Joined on 30-Sep-2003 United Kingdom Posts 23,861

  Contact It's so sad you feel like that Hecate. One thing i do remember is that September/Oct is always quiet on here (has been for the last few years) in that people are sending children to school, rearranging activities, and they have less time to contribute - all fine, but it makes this place a bit ghost town in those months. I'm hoping the Christmas approach (bad weather, and laxness in terms of work-time Hitching!) will bring the activity levels up a bit more again, as usually happens. Inspired by Sofie, Milo and all my angels, most recently Joe http://www.justgiving.com/JoeDonn/ Ideas and donations welcome x

• 03-Nov-2009 13:38

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  Hecate Joined on 17-Feb-2005 United Kingdom Posts 14,595

  Contact Madonna: Snowball the tri threads are very long you're right, and I can see how they are intimidating. But then what would you suggest? Before we had established tri threads we had loads of individual posts which annoyed people, plus there can be a really nice community on the tri threads (I remember when I've been on third tri it's been particularly fab). What would you suggest? Its probably very two-faced of me but I never liked the trimester threads although I have found the TTC threads invaluable.  Having, currently ongoing, TTC issues they have been a real area of support and strength for me and I would hate to do without them.  I have made a couple of really good RL friends by virtue of the TTC threads.   Emily ~ September 2006

• 03-Nov-2009 13:40

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  clog Joined on 23-Jan-2007 United Kingdom Posts 1,704 read my blog	Contact I find DW an easier forum to use and in some senses it does have the sense of community that I feel is a bit lacking on here at the moment. There are a few people I want to keep up with who don't use DW though so I stick around on both for the moment. James Andrew - 01/02/07 - 33+6 - emergency c-section - 5lb 1oz Claudia Anne Laura - 15/08/08 - 39+2 - elective c-section - 6lb 12oz

• 03-Nov-2009 13:46

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  mixie Joined on 06-Apr-2006 Vietnam Posts 2,035

  Contact Snowball: I think for me, there are too many segments like the different trimester threads. I don't have the inclination to do personals so tend not to join in and I don't feel I can post any questions or comments without making the effort to go through and mention everyone else first and I think this is a bit sad.   I have to say, I do see what you mean and I can be put off posting on the tri threads some days just because I can't face replying to 4 pages worth of people.  But, I don't really use them for questions so much, more as a way of rabbiting on about being pregnant every day without annoying lots of people!  I do like the feeling that there is a mini-community of people at the same stage as me - they're also a good way of getting to know other people on BT as I can be a bit shy about posting at other times.   I think I need to do my bit to change the forum  as my one complaint is that is a bit quiet on here at the moment - so I need to post more.

• 03-Nov-2009 13:47

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  moomin8804 Joined on 21-Oct-2008 Posts 3,652

  Contact I use OT on DW and BT over here. I only post on the TTC thread, birth announcements, and i try to reply to threads where people need some support or need to vent. But this is only because i don't have a baby yet and i have no answers to the threads asking for breast feeding/sleeping advice, and other specific questions iyswim?However i do try to read nearly all the threads for future reference I think the community is still strong here, however i do find it a bit clicky sometimes, but maybe this is just me?   Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

• 03-Nov-2009 13:48

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  Dr Doo.Little Joined on 28-Jun-2005 United Kingdom Posts 11,858

  Contact I think the different threads, both TTC and trimester threads are great. Having been posting with the same girls throughout the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Tri threads (and sometimes all the way from the TTC threads) it's a great way to get to know people and for support when you need it and to give support to other people when they need it. I don't post personals everyday if I don't have time to, but when I can I do and I will answer anyones questions if I can. Snowball, not everyone posts everyday, or posts personals everyday, so please don't feel that you can't come on and ask something

• 03-Nov-2009 13:53

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  japnart Joined on 07-Jan-2004 London Posts 6,134	Contact I'm too tired to attempt to write anything intelligible, but have been having the same thoughts as you, so, here here! I had a mind once, now I have small children.

• 03-Nov-2009 13:55

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  smarties Joined on 01-Jul-2004 United Kingdom Posts 8,534

  Contact I can totally understand why people might find the tri threads a bit overwhelming as they really are very long. From my experience of (especially the 3rd tri) threads though, everyone is welcome even if not doing personals, and to ask questions so I would encourage people to join in even if they can't face the prospect of 3 pages of personals first! I think hearts for BFPs and BAs only would be sensible so it's less confusing, but that's a minor issue for me personally. I agree with Madonna about the sense of community on here and I feel very sad when people get fed up here and disappear over to the other side. I absolutely think you need to participate in the forum that suits you, but I do miss some people and I find personally that in the latter stages of pregnancy, not knowing what the next weeks and months might bring the thought of people who might be able to support and advise me having moved on is sad. I hope to be able to return the advice and support I've received once I have more experience to share.

• 03-Nov-2009 14:07

  Re: What would you change about BT and its posts?

  pinkjay Joined on 04-Nov-2004 Norn Iron Posts 15,750

  Contact I hope my heart post didn't annoy you on DW, it wasn't mean't to be offensive to anyone, it was mean't to be funny.  I apologise if I have. Anyhows, onto the rest of the points...  I am quite new to BT so I have only ever experienced the tri threads - the TTC thread has been so supportive to me, I don't think I would have asked as many questions if I had to post separate threads, I like having the support on there without it all coming across as needy in separate posts IYKWIM.  It is good to have all the relevant info in the one place in each Tri thread.  I don't mind doing personals but somedays I havn't and still asked questions and got replies ok on the ttc thread. Though I do try to reply to other threads, but as I don't have children yet I can't help on a lot of them.  I do try to reply though. It is hard in work to reply to a lot and then the board is quite quiet in the evenings. The hearts really got to me today, imo they should be for BFP or BA.  Also Hitched is still majorly slow for me, I can't access it on my ipod or mobile.  Whereas DW is fast and can access on mobile.  I do miss the old yellow hitched like you. Forums progess (or go backwards like hitched) and people move on, they will change over the years as people and their input changes.  TBH I have no ties to hitched itself and if the people move to DW then I will follow, at the moment I am fliting between the two but it is hard work when trying to be discrete in work! I hope this makes some sense