Would you say anything? Car seat related

Join the conversation!
Register for free or sign in to chat and get advice from other brides-to-be.

• 19-Aug-2009 20:24

  Would you say anything? Car seat related

  sparky Joined on 30-Aug-2003 United Kingdom Posts 930

  Contact I saw a friend yesterday and her 5 and a half month old little boy. He has just been moved into a forward facing seat as he was"too big" for the rear facing one. He weighs about 17lbs and can't sit up unaided. I felt uneasy and wanted to say something but just mumbled something about my LO being older when we swapped even though he was a big baby. Now it's playing on my mind that I should have been more outspoken. But a) it's not really me, I hate to question people b) they've bought the seat so are unlikely to not use it. Am I being a bad friend? Is it a big deal at his weight and age? Sparky x

• 19-Aug-2009 20:39

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  oldspeckledtam Joined on 24-Oct-2004 United Kingdom Posts 2,623

  Contact How would you feel if there was an accident and the child was injured? I'd never forgive myself and would have to say something. I've refitted 2 of my friends car seats when I've realised they weren't done properly and I spoke to a visitor of my neighbour when I noticed they'd fitted their rear facing seat forwards! (It was an infant carrier, not a group 0-1) I HATE doing it, and I feel awful, but most people would rather be told if they're endangering their childs life. If they continue to use it your conscience is clear. I'd just call them and say you were looking at car seats online for 'x' (make something up!) and did they realise that the one they'd chosen wasn't suitable? Ask them where they bought it and go down the 'I can't believe they let you buy an unsuitable carseat' route.

• 19-Aug-2009 20:43

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  *Dust* Joined on 30-Sep-2003 United Kingdom Posts 14,544

  Contact I don't know the actual statistical facts but I do think its an issue and there are good reasons why you should stick with rear facing as long as possible (I think 9 months its the recommended earliest to change).  I would do some reseach and if it really is a genuine safety issue that they may not be aware of I would raise it in a did you know xxxx kind of way.  That way you would feel you have made her aware ain a non lecturing way nd its up to her what she does.  She may already be aware of the risk and decided that other things are more important. My best friend moved her baby into his own room when he was 6 weeks old because she felt he would sleep better.  She didn't know about the advice to keep him in their room until he was 6 months.  I told her about the guidance.  She didn't change anything but she's now pregnant with number 2 and said this time she will keep the baby in longer with her because of this. Name changed from angeldust I - April 2007 J - June 2010

• 19-Aug-2009 20:44

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  Casablanca Joined on 17-Mar-2006 United Kingdom Posts 6,136

  Contact Hmmm, its a difficult one. I have a work friend who did the same and also moved her baby to forward facing at 5 months (and had her in the front seat too!). I did question her but she was adamant that her baby had outgrown the infant carrier (her baby was 10 and half pounds at birth and has continued to be large for her age). I did mention to her that you could buy rear facing car seats in the next stage but she had already spent a lot of money on this new forward facing maxi cosi so it was falling on deaf ears really. Proud Mummy to Lily May, born 21st July 2008 at 38+4 and weighing 7lb 11.5oz.

• 19-Aug-2009 20:53

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  lmsunshine99 Joined on 27-Oct-2002 United Kingdom Posts 32,244

  Contact I would say something, I couldn't live with myself if I didn't and something happened. I would just say I am a little concerned as it isn't safe for him to be forward facing yet and explain why. My SIL was going to move her daugher ff at about 6 months because she felt like it and I explained why she shouldn't and she said she was her mum and she knew best and she hated seeing her with her legs scrunched up and I am afraid she annoyed me because she was totally ignoring the safety aspect and advice so I basically and with hindsight probably quite brutally said that is was ridiculous to move her forward facing just because she felt like it and surely it was better to have broken legs than a broken neck which is what would happen if she crashed with her forward facing. My FIL who was listening congratulated me afterwards and couldn't believe she wouldn't listen to me. However, either her husband put his foot down or she did listen because they didn't put her forward facing till she was about a year old.

• 19-Aug-2009 21:10

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  lou-be-lou Joined on 27-Jul-2009 Posts 354	Contact http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2DVfqFhseo we also have a 5mth old who weighs over 17lbs, i'm considerig getting a 0/1 seat for him as he's going to make the wight limit before the age Formerly loubelou until my profile mysteriously disappeared.......

• 19-Aug-2009 21:34

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  Lady Muck Joined on 05-Oct-2006 United Kingdom Posts 3,419

  Contact Yes, because I could not live with myself if the child was injured. Weight actually is irrelevant - it is height that is the issue. Once the top of the childs head is above the top of the car seat, then they should be moved. Until that point, there is no reason to change the seat. Lou-be-lou - try calling the in car safety centre in Milton Keynes (see www.rearfacing.co.uk for the number). Isobel Dorothy Ann, born 30th September 2008

• 20-Aug-2009 12:38

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  sparky Joined on 30-Aug-2003 United Kingdom Posts 930	Contact Thank you for all your thoughts, it's confirmed in my mind I have no choice but to at least have a conversation with her about it. Much appreciated x

• 20-Aug-2009 12:50

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  michy-lou Joined on 27-Aug-2005 United Kingdom Posts 18,769

  Contact sparky: Thank you for all your thoughts, it's confirmed in my mind I have no choice but to at least have a conversation with her about it. Much appreciated x If you feel uncomfortable about it could you email/fb her?  Then you can say what you want to say withouot worrying about getting flustered (as I would I hate saying stuff like this)  yet still word it like the others suggested x Proud mummy to Elliott (March 08) and Oscar (Nov 11) mc Nov 2010

• 20-Aug-2009 13:18

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  jelly baby Joined on 22-Feb-2005 United Kingdom Posts 17,952

  Contact I was in exactly the same position as you.  I'm afraid I didn't bite my tongue.  We were with a group of people so I just said that it was dangerous as the baby didn't have the muscle strength to cope with being forward facing and that she should really think hard about moving him back rear facing. When I got home I sent her a link to the rear facing car seat website and said that, whilst I understood she might think that keeping rear facing until 4 was excessive, could she read the information.  I got an email back to say she hadn't realised the implications and had turned him back rear facing. I really think you have mention it.  Apologies for lack of capital letters - Zoe has stolen my shift key

• 20-Aug-2009 13:38

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  momai Joined on 12-Sep-2007 United Kingdom Posts 2,734

  Contact Lady Muck: Weight actually is irrelevant - it is height that is the issue. Once the top of the childs   I would say something however Im with LM here its all about the height. I have 2 long babies and whilst I would like to wait until they had hit the 20lb mark sometimes its not doable as they are too long and it is unsafe for them to be in the rear facing car seats. Sophia - January 2005 Henry - December 2008 Single mum studying to be a children's nurse 101 challenges in 1001 days blog here http://momai.wordpress.com/

• 20-Aug-2009 20:53

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  Irgalite Joined on 08-Aug-2007 United Kingdom Posts 5,923

  Contact A few of my friends have rushed to turn their babies FF. What really annoyed me was one of my friends went to Mothercare in Glasgow to get her 3 yr old a new car seat and while there the assistant asked if she needed a new seat for her then 10 month old who was in a Maxi Cosi baby carrier in the trolley.  The assistant told my friend she should have moved LO as soon as she could sit unaided and talked her into buying a FF seat for the 10 month old!! I seen them a few days later and was shocked to see LO in the FF seat and asked why when she was well under 9kg and as she is very petite had plenty of space left in the carrier.  My friend explained what happened and I was so angry.  I told her what I knew (from here) about the importance of RF and sent her a few links to read.  I dont know if she did read them or not but she kept LO FF and now at 14 months she still isnt 9kg so could still be in the carrier!! Another of my friends has the same Britax seat as us and turned her LO when he was 9 months even though our seat does RF up to 13kg.  He is tall and she said about his legs being crushed, me response was "whats better, broken legs or neck!?"  Again she kept him FF, her reasoning being its a faff to turn the seat back round and easier to strap him in when FF!  WTF?!  Yes it is but id rather take an extra 20 secs to strap LO in than have their head ripped off in an accident!

• 20-Aug-2009 21:13

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  Anastasia Joined on 27-Sep-2002 United Kingdom Posts 20,441

  Contact hmm at 5.5 months Charlotte was 21lb 11.5oz  and off all the graphs for height and yes we did decide when she was 7 months she was too big for the portable rear facing baby carrier seat so we got a reversible one and still kept her rear facing until she was about 10 months I think (oh and she could sit up unaided from 17 weeks) at 4 months Louisa is already 17lb (they were both very big at birth) and again off the height graphs and she is looking a bit tight in the baby carrier but I would say she has at least another 2-3 months in that before we will worry about putting her in the reversible one and then forward facing as late as possible.   isn't it actually illegal unless they are 9months? and the current guidance is now 12 months isn't it.   I am sure the max weight is 13kg for a baby car seat and that is over 28lb. well Charlotte is big and heavy but still didn't reach that until she was 14 months   anyway in answer to your question, yes I would say something.

• 20-Aug-2009 21:20

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  Anastasia Joined on 27-Sep-2002 United Kingdom Posts 20,441

  Contact momai: Lady Muck: Weight actually is irrelevant - it is height that is the issue. Once the top of the childs   I would say something however Im with LM here its all about the height. I have 2 long babies and whilst I would like to wait until they had hit the 20lb mark sometimes its not doable as they are too long and it is unsafe for them to be in the rear facing car seats.   very true - I do personally think that many of the car seats need some redesigning to make them more suitable for tall babies.  both my girls are on line to be 6ftish (dad is 6ft 4in) and the actual baby car seats just aren't tall enough to accommodate their long bodies, the britax first class however is obviously a much better size for them. I suppose they want the baby carriers to be portable and small enough to use in travel systems but personally I would have rather gone without a travel system (as I am this time round) to give my child a bigger and more appropriate car seat. we wouldn't have turned Charlotte at 10 months (would have waited until she got to the 13kg) if I had known as much as I do now so Louisa won't be FF until she has to be really

• 20-Aug-2009 21:39

  Re: Would you say anything? Car seat related

  Irgalite Joined on 08-Aug-2007 United Kingdom Posts 5,923

  Contact Anastasia: momai: Lady Muck: Weight actually is irrelevant - it is height that is the issue. Once the top of the childs   I would say something however Im with LM here its all about the height. I have 2 long babies and whilst I would like to wait until they had hit the 20lb mark sometimes its not doable as they are too long and it is unsafe for them to be in the rear facing car seats.   very true - I do personally think that many of the car seats need some redesigning to make them more suitable for tall babies.  both my girls are on line to be 6ftish (dad is 6ft 4in) and the actual baby car seats just aren't tall enough to accommodate their long bodies, the britax first class however is obviously a much better size for them. I suppose they want the baby carriers to be portable and small enough to use in travel systems but personally I would have rather gone without a travel system (as I am this time round) to give my child a bigger and more appropriate car seat. we wouldn't have turned Charlotte at 10 months (would have waited until she got to the 13kg) if I had known as much as I do now so Louisa won't be FF until she has to be really   Its the Britax First Class we have for A and will be getting another for this baby as like you said its RF until 13kg.