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Beginner August 2015

Best man wants to ruin my stag do

Benaal87, 3 of August of 2015 at 16:55 Posted on Planning 0 7

Hey all,

I'm getting married on 29th August and my stag do is this coming Friday. I had everything planned pretty much, because the best man was a bit slow on the uptake.

I'm of a more traditional vein, and i'm a shy person, I don't like a lot of fuss, and I really don't drink much at all.

Therefore, I had organised to go for a meal in Shoreditch at a decent steak restaurant, followed by a booking at a local blues club. Nice, simple, quiet. I was even prepared to have a few more beers than usual and stay out beyond 10pm (usually i'm fast on by 9.30)

I got called in by my best man for a 'pep talk' today, stating basically that he's changed the plans, i'll have to be prepared to get humiliated, and to just take it in jest. I know that this is seen as the done thing but I really do not want to take part in what he's suggesting which is "go to a few places" - meaning strip joints - and that I'll have something to wear which will be non-negotiable.

What can I do? The idea of getting dragged around strip clubs makes me feel physically sick, I really do NOT want a hangover the size of cornwall, and what's more - I really really really want to just sit back, and enjoy the bands playing with a few beers and some good friends without having to watch my back for something awful to happen.

Even worse - I suffer from depression, and I'm afraid that they'll inadvertantly trigger a depressive episode which I will not be in control of.

I don't want to say no and cancel the whole stag do, but likewise I don't want it to turn into something worthy of an ITV documentary.

Any ideas or help would be really appreciated. I'm currently very worried and need to find a way out of this.

Thanks

7 replies

Latest activity by RomanticRedDiamonds504, 8 of February of 2016 at 14:30
  • pammy67
    Beginner April 2015
    pammy67 ·
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    Tell him this. Tell you appreciate his efforts and intentions but it's not what you want end of. X

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  • CornishBride89
    Beginner October 2015
    CornishBride89 ·
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    I agree. You definitely need to tell him this. If he is a true friend he'll understand. You shouldn't have to compromise on your own stag do. It sounds like your best man is just doing what he wants and not thinking about you.

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  • Lapland2015
    Beginner December 2015
    Lapland2015 ·
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    Be honest with him. If his a good friend he will listen. I hope you get the stag do you want :-)

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  • AuntieBJ
    Beginner September 2014
    AuntieBJ ·
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    Honesty is always the best policy. He could just be winding you up, knowing that you would hate it! Let him know you're really worried and not looking forward to it and he will, hopefully sort it out.

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  • M
    Beginner March 2016
    MrsMtobe2016 ·
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    So, what happened?

    x

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  • Neil Walker Photography
    Neil Walker Photography ·
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    I think the advice above is pretty good. Talking is always best, after all it's your wedding, you're not getting married just so your best man can have his fun!

    I've never understood why grooms don't vet the best man's speech too. I've seen a few groom's (& brides) upset by the content of a best man's speech!

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  • J
    Beginner March 2017
    James_12345 ·
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    Im sure you can give him a list of dos and donts.

    it would be my worst stag do if it was just booze and strip clubs!

    Im hoping for some go karting/quad biking/clay shooting with some bbq and beer with the lads....

    hopefully my BM knows me well enough to do this,but I might say no strip clubs at all.

    another way of putting limits on it is for the bride to say whats not okay, then it doesnt seem like you are the killjoy!

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  • R
    Beginner
    RomanticRedDiamonds504 ·
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    Haha - the lapland wedding resort... https://www.hitched.co.uk/chat/forums/t/526211.aspx

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