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MrsCWB
Beginner October 2014

Anyone else get weirded out?

MrsCWB, 29 of October of 2014 at 08:23 Posted on Just Married 0 21

My wedding was amazing, totally perfect, I loved every second of it.

Next day, I suddenly realised my name was changed and I felt like I was a different person that I just didn't know. I totally freaked out! Mr CWB was awesome, he listened to me, calmed me, totally understood where I was coming from and never once made me feel bad. I am still getting used to the idea that I am someone a little bit different now.

Did anyone else have this, or do I just think too much and that's how I got in this situation?

x

21 replies

Latest activity by ah123, 3 of May of 2015 at 13:02
  • Miles with Love Honeymoon Registry
    Miles with Love Honeymoon Registry ·
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    Hi MrsCWB, first of all congrats on your marriage!!! It's totally normal to feel like this. I got married last year and sometimes still feel overwhelmed by the idea that I am someone's wife now. I also have a beautiful baby daughter now and it's the same thing ("OMG I am a mom now!!!"). You are still the same amazing person your now-husband has fallen in love with when you were just boyfriend-girlfriend but now you guys are bonded forever! Wish you two all the best x

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  • joeybrooks
    Beginner December 2014
    joeybrooks ·
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    OMG I can't believe you have just written that. Thank you. I felt 100% the same. Hubby and I have been together 16 years,since we were 17 and have a 2 year old and I so desperately wanted to have the same surname as my son and yet I stood in my kitchen this evening sobbing that my name was changing and that I didn't want to change.

    I feel like things are going to change and I don't want them too. I hated being referred to as his girlfriend, at 33 I felt too old to be a girlfriend, but now I just wanna be his girlfriend again, and I know, I'm crazy!!!! Like you o had the !most perfect day that I wouldn't change for the world and yet I feel sick every time I think about it!!! I think I will be OK though, hubby said he felt a bit emotional about it all too and now you have said the same, it must be normal - right?????

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  • *
    Beginner April 2014
    **Claire** ·
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    I suddenly felt sad that I had lost that connection to my family, even though it obviously changes nothing in our relationship. It's not like I have just moved out of my mum and dad's home or anything. I quickly forgot about it though.

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  • A
    AnneFlem ·
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    This happens to everyone. Me and DH married after being together for 4 years, but still i felt weird after marriage. I knew all his family and friends. I knew his home, I knew that my name would be changed but still when it finally happens this nervousness and weird feelings happen. Don't worry about that though, you will come in terms with it and will love this new life.

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  • Erin8
    Beginner June 2014
    Erin8 ·
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    I too found it hard changing my name and the change. I ended up changing my name at home but not at work. It works for lots of reasons and it is the right decision for me. My husband is fine with it.

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  • E
    Beginner July 2016
    ExpensiveOrangeStationery250 ·
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    I'm probably posting in the wrong place too but 'the great name debate' has been playing on my mind since the day my partner proposed. I love him, I can't wait to be his wife, but the thought of having to lose part of my identity to be his wife makes me cry every time I think about it. I always said I would want to keep my name on marriage, even before I met him, but he has made it very clear he wouldn't be happy with the arrangement. We've talked about double-barreling but they sound ridiculous. It's really important to him so I said I would compromise and change it at home (and Facebook... The important bit these days right?!) but keep my name at work so I felt like I maintained a part of myself there, but that also is apparently unacceptable, as I would be 'going to work single' despite wearing a wedding ring. I've said the children could have his name to carry on the family name but he said if I had a different name, it 'wouldn't feel like we're a family'.

    Am I being selfish? I don't have a reason for wanting to keep my name other than I feel like it's a part of me, and I don't want someone else's name stamped across my forehead, we both feel very strongly about it, I'm not really sure what to do :s

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  • Erin8
    Beginner June 2014
    Erin8 ·
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    No, you are not being selfish. You have offered a compromise which l think sounds fair especially as you feel strongly about not changing your name. I think your husband needs to be more willing to compromise.

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  • E
    Beginner July 2016
    ExpensiveOrangeStationery250 ·
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    Thank you Smiley smile sometimes I feel like I'm the weird one for not wanting to change my name! We have a few married friends and they've all taken their partners names, as well as my fiance's recent sister in law, so he just thinks it's normal and expected. I've tried to say it's not that unusual these days but he doesn't see it. I'm very private about my personal life at work and wouldn't really want to make a big thing about a name change on business cards and stuff, and in the back of my mind (I know it's very negative and I haven't said it to him!) but if it didn't work out in the distant future, I wouldn't want to deal with changing it back at work again and everyone know what was going on!

    I think it's going to be one of those things that we just don't discuss and I just don't order new business cards after I'm married! :s

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  • Erin8
    Beginner June 2014
    Erin8 ·
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    If he feels that strongly then maybe he should take your name?! I know it's a lot more complicated than that but it's food for thought. I don't think you can ask someone to do something that you wouldn't do yourself. My husband is quite traditional at heart but once l explained it to him then he was ok with it. Plus my Dad died just over a year before we got married and due to where l work then it advantageous to use a name that wouldn't lead back to my home address.

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  • pink & glitz
    Beginner August 2014
    pink & glitz ·
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    I kept my own name (went double barrelled), what stick I got for that from family though x

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  • S
    Beginner November 2016
    student999 ·
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    I think i totally understand the way you feel, because i felt the same..

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  • S
    Beginner November 2016
    student999 ·
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    congrats on your marriage!

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  • S
    Beginner November 2016
    student999 ·
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    Just remember that you are not weird because of your decisions.

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  • Z
    Beginner June 2014
    Ziatainbloom ·
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    I was the same and somedays I still feel like it !

    When somebody calls Mrs Mehr I sit there blank till I realize thats me ! lol

    My mum says I am silly but she knew who she was going to be marrying since she was a child so had years to get used to it !

    The oddness will fade, just somedays i get caught out lol Smiley smile

    z x

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  • S
    Beginner November 2016
    student999 ·
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    How do you feel now?

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  • N
    Beginner
    NataliePace ·
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    I don't think I will have the same feeling like you.. Congratuations!

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  • C
    Beginner September 2011
    ciara2bemrs ·
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    I still can't quite get used to writing my new surname and that's 3 years later!! Smiley smile

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  • Grace@PEP
    Beginner November 2018
    Grace@PEP ·
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    View quoted message

    I still am getting used to mine almost three years later

    I blame it on when you are at Primary School you learn your name as it is then and so it becomes as instilled within you as your ABCs and 123s.

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  • Z
    Beginner September 2015
    Zoranra ·
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    It's normal because it's a big decision! I hope my Mr. R would understand my feeling when towards these.

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  • Janelly
    Beginner January 2015
    Janelly ·
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    I think a lot of people probably wake up on the day after their wedding a feel like a totally new person, but wives and husbands. It's a big step in life, you should feel different!

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  • A
    Beginner March 2015
    ah123 ·
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    I think its helpful this has been written as I feel similarly. We got married a month ago and still getting my head around it. I think when my name has been changed on everything it will start to feel more real. Also you have had months and months of planning, a huge event and now suddenly back to reality-thats an odd situation for anyone to get their head around. It helped me to ground myself with all the things that are important to me-keep close touch with friends and places I love to be to remind me Im still me!!!

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