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Snowby
Beginner September 2013

When did your families meet?

Snowby, 21 of December of 2012 at 12:01 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 42

OH and I have been together for almost seven years and as yet our families have never met each other. Not for any particular reason, it's just never happened. Geographically speaking, there's only about an hour and a half between them so that's not really the reason either.

I've never thought anything of it (we'll arrange something so they meet before the wedding) but some others I've spoken to it think it's a bit odd, including OH's family (my family have never really said much about it). I'm just curious to see what you guys think - does it seem strange to you? How long had you been with your OH before the inlaws met? Are they very friendly with each other and meet up regularly or do they see each other once in a blue moon?

42 replies

Latest activity by RedKitchie, 31 of December of 2012 at 02:00
  • charlottelucy
    Beginner August 2012
    charlottelucy ·
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    They met at my OHs 21st birthday, so 2 years after we got together. They get on really well, we have a couple of BBQs every year where we all get together at MILs house x

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  • ~Peanut~
    Beginner December 2012
    ~Peanut~ ·
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    They haven't and I can't see when they ever will for the forseeable future. I've never met them either.

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  • tortoise
    tortoise ·
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    We all went out for a meal after we got engaged, so after about 7/8 weeks. They see each other every birthday because we always have a big party in someone's house or go out for a big meal. The 'rents have even gone to the pub without me and OH.

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  • Knees
    VIP August 2012
    Knees ·
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    FIL was my dad's solicitor before we met, so they knew each other before we did! They had "the meeting" on my birthday, around 6 months after we got together, when we all went out for a meal together. My parents are now often invited to PILs when we have family BBQs, New Year's Eve, Royal Wedding party etc. My mum and MIL even go out to concerts together!

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  • Vanilla Pod
    Beginner September 2011
    Vanilla Pod ·
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    It was at my 30th, we all went for a meal (all my family, mum, dad, siblings, sil, bil, neices, nephews etc) and invited them along. We had been together about 2 years I think. My Mum had met his Mum in passing, when she had dropped me off at his house a few times before that but not the whole family.

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  • Saisi
    Beginner June 2011
    Saisi ·
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    I think our mums met very briefly a couple of times when picking us up/dropping us off at each other's houses (teenage relationship). The families met 'properly' when I had my 21st birthday party and invited my in-laws (we'd been together about 3 years at that point), and then we arranged a meet before the wedding too; we went to see the reception venue together and then went back to my parents' house for tea and biscuits. We also all went for lunch a few weeks before the wedding.

    They don't see each other now really, not any big reason but then again no reason to meet up either. They wouldn't really socialise with each other but they do send Christmas cards.

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  • *gnashers*
    Beginner October 2013
    *gnashers* ·
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    I think we'd been together almost a year when they first met, but now they see each other a few times a year. We always go out for a meal at Christmas, and often do a day on the boat in the summer.

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  • amihohu
    Beginner September 2013
    amihohu ·
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    My parents have met his dad and step mum a handful of times, once at christmas, once when sorting wedding stuff and once for an engagement meal (we've been together 5 years) but my mum has only met his mum once (i've only met her 3 times!) as she lives on the otherside of the planet (nz) so I guess that's a good enough excuse!

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  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
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    They met at my 30th birthday bash, approx. 6 years after we got together. We have had get togethers since, a day out in Manchester and a weekend in Cornwall (we were away with Boy's family, my parents drove down for a couple of days). Unfortunately, meeting at the wedding didn't happen.

    They send Christmas cards and chocolates/biscuits to each other. My Mum is in regular contact with my SIL by text/phone (mostly because she supports SIL through MIL's illness when we are on holiday etc). But that's it. I think if they were in the same region, they'd meet up more, but there's a four hour drive between them and MIL can't get out very much.

    I know my Mum feels the lack of contact very keenly. My two grandmothers were great friends and used to get together as often as they could, as much as living in different countries allowed. She wanted the same. However, things just don't work out like that.

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  • S
    Beginner October 2011
    SuperSpud ·
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    My parents haven't met H's parents - his mum remarried and lives abroad and won't come back over here under any circumstances. H's dad is an utter knob, so if he met my dad, my dad would probably lamp him.

    My parents have met H's sisters, BILs and nephew & niece, plus BILs families too.

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  • natalieexx
    Beginner October 2012
    natalieexx ·
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    Our families have only met twice... his are from Hull, mine from Kent, so they live quite far apart. We got engaged for my 21st birthday after me & H had been together for 2 years, and his mum & dad came down for the weekend as we had a party to celebrate. His siter stayed with us 6 months later and then met my family, and then that was it until the wedding!

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    Snowby we were exactly the same.

    The in-laws met when we'd booked the wedding venue and we all went to see it together (so over 8 years after we got together).

    No particular reason, like with you - just geography and no real 'reason' for them to meet until then.

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  • M
    Beginner September 2013
    MrsB2013 ·
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    We had an engagement party so they met at that point - that was approx 3 and half years after we got together

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  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    My mum has met H's sister and neice on occasion, but really, both families met at the wedding and haven't met since.

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  • quackers
    Beginner August 2013
    quackers ·
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    Mine met about 12 months after us being together my mum invited his mum and dad for easter they met my grandparents etc then too.

    They havent met all of mikes siblings though

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  • Mrs C
    Beginner March 2011
    Mrs C ·
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    At our wedding rehearsal, 3 days before the wedding!

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  • AmnesiaCustard
    Beginner June 2011
    AmnesiaCustard ·
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    They met at our wedding, when we had been together 6.5 years, where they stuck to their own! They will never meet again. This is fine. They are VERY differes types of people - H's family, Tory, forces, gung-ho types, mine, socialist, pacifist academics.

    No idea why H and I get on!

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  • Sam&Louise
    Beginner September 2015
    Sam&Louise ·
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    Ours have never met. My mum has met OHs dad in passing when going between my house and OHs, but aside from that nothing. They'd not know eachother if they passed in the street and I don't think they even know one anothers names.

    We all live in the same general area (half hour drive max) but there's not really any reason for them to meet.

    I think OH's mum is quite keen to meet my parents as she's mentioned inviting them over for a BBQ quite a few times. I'm sure they'd get on well enough, but probably wouldn't be friends or make a point of seeing each other as they're completely different.

    I quite like the fact they've not met if i'm honest.

    Assuming they wont meet until the wedding, it'll be almost 7 years.

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  • *JLS*
    Beginner July 2012
    *JLS* ·
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    Over the past ten years that me and H have been together they had met a couple of times briefly for a coffee, but never more than half an hour. So me and H thought it would be a great idea for everyone to get together last christmas for dinner.

    We didn't even make it to dinner as the two dad's had fallen out massively (they were both drunk at the time) and FIL stormed off back home on Christmas eve and I didn't speak to him again for a few months. When I left to go to bed, they were getting on like a house on fire!!

    They then met at the wedding in July. Needless to say we are not doing that again this year!!

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  • Arquard
    Beginner May 2011
    Arquard ·
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    H's parents met my mum & stepdad a few days before the wedding, so about 4 1/2 years after we got together. They met my dad at my wedding (I only see him maybe once a year at most anyway).

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  • Snowby
    Beginner September 2013
    Snowby ·
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    View quoted message

    Same for us.

    A mixture of responses - at least I know now that we're not on our own ?

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  • Storky
    Beginner May 2011
    Storky ·
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    His folks met my mum after we'd booked our wedding venue. They met my mum's partner, who's a d!ck, at the wedding.

    His dad met my dad on Mr Cricks' stag do, and met his mother at our wedding rehearsal which is when they met my dad's partner for the first time too.

    Mum and his folks exchange Christmas/birthday cards and my dad and his dad exchange emails, normally about my dad's desire to be a grandad (?) and his famous cured salmon recipes.

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  • Helenia
    Beginner September 2011
    Helenia ·
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    They met after we'd been together about 3 years I think - I'd bought Dad a driving experience at Silverstone, which is quite near where the in-laws live, so we all went there for lunch. Then I don't think they saw each other until we had a "wedding planning" meeting not long after getting engaged. Since then they've become quite good friends and occasionally go to meet up without either of us, though they live about 2 hours apart so not very frequently.

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  • smazzy_smoo
    Beginner June 2014
    smazzy_smoo ·
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    Ours have never met... I can't stand OH's Dad, he's an alcoholic, wife beating disgrace of a man, and I'm dreading my parents meeting him. I know our Mum's would get on well, it's just his Dad... We've got to do it at some point before the wedding though, because I don't want it kicking off then!!

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  • *Funky*
    Beginner January 2001
    *Funky* ·
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    Our have never met and in fairness OH's mum doesn't speak English so not like they can chat when they do (which will be at our wedding)

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  • ebony_rose
    Genius
    ebony_rose ·
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    Ours have never met.

    I've never met my outlaws either.

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  • Erin8
    Beginner June 2014
    Erin8 ·
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    They have never met in the 7.5 years we have been together. We live in London, my Mum lives in Manchester and K's parents live in Ireland so their paths have never crossed. I need to arrange a meet at some time next year.

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  • Tiny-Tiggs
    Beginner April 2012
    Tiny-Tiggs ·
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    They met when i was a year old, which was when H's family moved here. Our dads worked together and our mums worked together, however I didnt meet H until 6.5 years ago!

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  • S
    Beginner September 2013
    Snc12 ·
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    Hopefully they will be meeting at our sons 1st birthday party, which happens to be the day before we get married. If they don't all come, it will be at our actual wedding. Neither of us are bothered by it either, it took me 3 years to meet his dad and a couple of his sisters but met his mum and one sister about 6 months in.

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    They have seen each other about 3 or 4 times including the wedding. I cant see that changing really. They are not the same sort of people really.

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  • Barefoot
    Beginner August 2012
    Barefoot ·
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    Ours met about 2-3 yrs ago at one of the summer proms concerts held in the grounds of a stately home. We invited both sets of parents and knew they would get on. They are both from the same sort of class/background, both mothers and both fathers each had similar careers, and have similar interests (art, opera, classical music, nice meals out etc etc.)

    They only meet when we arrange things and invite them all, since OH's parents are about 2hrs away, whereas mine are 30mins away. However, both sets of parents are coming here to spend Christmas with us and I can't wait!!

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  • leni-lw!
    Beginner November 2011
    leni-lw! ·
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    Ours met a few months after we got engaged, but I HATE it when we do get a family get together 'cos they just don't 'gel' with each other and is very awkward.. if they didn't have to speak with each other ever again I would be very happy ?

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