Hen night guest list

Hi all,

 

I cannot believe I'm about to post this as when I'm the person giving advice I think I would say exactly what I have a feeling you will say to me ...

 

My bridesmaids have asked me for a list of email addresses for the hens. Now for some reason unknown to me, this has actually caused me a little bit of stress. I have written 4 (FOUR) versions of the list. I've now got a final list who are the girls I know I'm going to stay in touch with now that I've moved abroad (all of whom have been invited to the wedding). My hen isn't until the end of Feb which is also the next time I'll be back in the UK. The thing is, I've excluded three people who had me on their hen dos (granted, these are now two to four years ago) and I'm a bit worried that there'll be hurt feelings or mumblings of "I invited her to mine, WTF?" Now, should I be worried about this? Like I say, the hen dos for these girls were at least two years ago and I only see them now at mutual friends' weddings or the occasional birthday.

 

If a friend came to me with this 'problem' (inverted commas as it's so trivial!) I think I would say that they should invite exactly who they want and people will understand this. Has anyone else had similar dilemmas?

 

 

NicolaAngeles:

If a friend came to me with this 'problem' (inverted commas as it's so trivial!) I think I would say that they should invite exactly who they want and people will understand this.

Exactly this! Although you haven't mentioned if these friends are invited to the wedding or not, if they aren't invited to the wedding then I definatley wouldn't invite to the hen. If they are invited to the wedding but not the hen that's a little more awkward but actually if you don't want them at the hen then you probably don't want them at the wedding either!

Nutella:

NicolaAngeles:

If a friend came to me with this 'problem' (inverted commas as it's so trivial!) I think I would say that they should invite exactly who they want and people will understand this.

Exactly this! Although you haven't mentioned if these friends are invited to the wedding or not, if they aren't invited to the wedding then I definatley wouldn't invite to the hen. If they are invited to the wedding but not the hen that's a little more awkward but actually if you don't want them at the hen then you probably don't want them at the wedding either!

As Nutella said - are these girls invited to the wedding? Are you still in contact with them at all?

Is there a restriction on how many you can invite to the hen do. I would be tempted to just invite everyone if it was me but then I'm not planning anything special, just going for a meal / drink or something. Is that the problem? Are you doing an activity that only allows a certain number? If thats the case, then I wouldn't worry about it any further because there really is nothing else you can do and any reasonable would understand. Perhaps you could email them to explain that it is because numbers are limited and if need be arrange a smaller second hen do drinks / meet up for those you feel you've excluded. Plenty of people have 2 hen dos these days, so its definately an option.

staranise:

Is there a restriction on how many you can invite to the hen do. I would be tempted to just invite everyone if it was me but then I'm not planning anything special, just going for a meal / drink or something. Is that the problem? Are you doing an activity that only allows a certain number? If thats the case, then I wouldn't worry about it any further because there really is nothing else you can do and any reasonable would understand. Perhaps you could email them to explain that it is because numbers are limited and if need be arrange a smaller second hen do drinks / meet up for those you feel you've excluded. Plenty of people have 2 hen dos these days, so its definately an option.

WSS. Not everyone on my hen do was invited to the wedding reception. I had a "core group" invited to dinner and a show, then a free for all afterwards on to bars and a club which mainly consisted of the girls from work. No-one at work would go to a hen do expecting to attend the wedding. After all, the hen is just a celebration of moving on from being single, so surely anyone can join in?

Hi all,

 

Thanks as always for the advice. There's no restrictions on numbers as such however the reason I want to keep it fairly limited is because I no longer live in the UK, so the girls that are invited are the ones that I want to be able to spend quality time with - I'm not having a full weekend either as I want to have a family type hen with my mum and sister alone, something a bit more low key like an afternoon tea. The last thing I want is to have a massive number where I don't get to speak to everyone properly. Hope that makes sense?

 

Thanks again xx

That makes sense, and in that case I'd say don't invite them if you don't really want them there; and if they ask just say you wanted a really small low key hen party. If their hen parties/weddings were a few years ago now I'm sure they won't really mind.

I think what you're planning on doing is fair. Especially if you do not keep in contact with them as much as the others.

I get people I have met once (and I do get on with them well) telling me they cannot wait to come to my hen party when I have it! For me it's about asking the girls closest to you to give you a brillaint party to celebrate.

Ask who you want and don't worry about offending others.