Anyone else...

Saved/saving up the money to pay for the wedding before getting engaged?

(we are getting married, but OH wants to save first, and then propose as he doesnt want a long engagement)

Or are we the only odd bods! lol

(feeling a tad frustrated today .... )

To be honest, it's not for me.  I'd still feel like I was engaged, even if I didn't have the ring and hadn't announced it officially.  So it would be a 'long engagement' in my eyes.

But if it's the right thing for you and your OH, then it's the right thing!  Hope you feel better about the situation soon xx

No you're not.

I don't really like the idea of long engagements (plus I was wobbly about getting married at all) and so we saved to buy our house and then kind of kept saving - both knowing in our hearts what for.

I was still in denial when he asked me but we thankfully have a few thousand saved so it shouldn't be too stressful for us to get married next year.

After announcing our engagement people went wedding crazy (it's like an open invite to ask personal questions!) and I don't think I could have put up with it unless we were planning to get married soon.

Hmm, if you've agreed to marry, and are saving for a wedding, then surely you ARE engaged? You don't have to have a ring or a wedding date to be engaged, just an agreement to marry. And an agreement doesn't mean there has to have been a traditional proposal either. (Actually, why does he need to ask you to marry him if you're already saving for a wedding? Surely that's like asking you to pick something up from the shops when you've already bought it!)

Its a toughie for me really, but I know his reasoning about having the money there so that we dont cut things out nearer the time that maybe we wanted, but couldnt afford, and not worrying about money but enjoying the run up to the wedding.

I guess I'm just impatient

Thanks

x

Barefoot Beach Bride:

Hmm, if you've agreed to marry, and are saving for a wedding, then surely you ARE engaged? You don't have to have a ring or a wedding date to be engaged, just an agreement to marry. And an agreement doesn't mean there has to have been a traditional proposal either. (Actually, why does he need to ask you to marry him if you're already saving for a wedding? Surely that's like asking you to pick something up from the shops when you've already bought it!)

 

My OH wants to propose to me, and that hasnt happened.  And he is quite old fashioned, and until this happens (which wont happen until we have the money saved) then we arent engaged... honestly, it has me going around in circles a lot, but I know he has logic in there somewhere lol

x

Barefoot Beach Bride:

Hmm, if you've agreed to marry, and are saving for a wedding, then surely you ARE engaged?

This. We got engaged the day that our wedding was booked i.e. we made an engagement to get married. No proposal, no ring. And no "being engaged" without actually having a wedding date.

Oh doesnt see it like that, so we are not "engaged" but we are saving for a wedding (which does feel a bit odd to me too, but I cant force him to "set a date" or anything if it isnt the way he wants to do it).

Ah well... I'm sure I will be thankful when we have the money saved and we dont have to worry about saving up to pay for things.

x

We made sure we'd saved some before setting a date or properly getting into the planning. However he asked me, got me a ring and we were engaged, just hadn't any specific plans. We started planning after 2 years of being engaged. When we marry it will be 3 years exactly since he asked me. 

Im a person who has never been in debt and wouldn't want to be, especially for one day so it worked for us. 

Barefoot Beach Bride:

Hmm, if you've agreed to marry, and are saving for a wedding, then surely you ARE engaged? You don't have to have a ring or a wedding date to be engaged, just an agreement to marry. And an agreement doesn't mean there has to have been a traditional proposal either. (Actually, why does he need to ask you to marry him if you're already saving for a wedding? Surely that's like asking you to pick something up from the shops when you've already bought it!)

Completely agree!

*ACS*:

Oh doesnt see it like that, so we are not "engaged" but we are saving for a wedding (which does feel a bit odd to me too, but I cant force him to "set a date" or anything if it isnt the way he wants to do it).

Ah well... I'm sure I will be thankful when we have the money saved and we dont have to worry about saving up to pay for things. 

x

Does he know you're on a wedding planning site?  There are lots of people who want to get married & are saving money for the future which they know will be a wedding but if you're already planning the day then that sounds pretty engaged to me! 

Or are you secretly planning until he pops the question? 

Thanks all, and I know its hard to understand our way of thinking, sometimes I struggle (and get a bit impatient!)... but thank you for not making me feel odd lol

OH knows I am on here, we have visited venues together (mainly to discount them unfortunately!) and been to a wedding fair, and he is happy to discuss it, any ideas etc. but as for actually being engaged, he doesnt see that as happening until he has formally asked me to marry him (and he wants to do it as a surprise!), which is quite sweet really. 

I am happier today, and thinking of ways to save some extra money, and also to loose weight so a nice packed lunch for me at work today, with actual fruit!!

xx

*ACS*:

OH knows I am on here, we have visited venues together (mainly to discount them unfortunately!) and been to a wedding fair, and he is happy to discuss it, any ideas etc. but as for actually being engaged, he doesnt see that as happening until he has formally asked me to marry him (and he wants to do it as a surprise!), which is quite sweet really. 

I'm in pretty much the exact same situation. So you may be odd but at least you're not the only one! :P

We booked the church, reception and honeymoon about a month before my fiance proposed! He only proposed last weekend in Milan. We announced it on Facebook and are going to wait until this weekend to announce that we have a date (even though it has been booked a while!)