Thanks all, and I know its hard to understand our way of thinking, sometimes I struggle (and get a bit impatient!)... but thank you for not making me feel odd lol
OH knows I am on here, we have visited venues together (mainly to discount them unfortunately!) and been to a wedding fair, and he is happy to discuss it, any ideas etc. but as for actually being engaged, he doesnt see that as happening until he has formally asked me to marry him (and he wants to do it as a surprise!), which is quite sweet really.
I am happier today, and thinking of ways to save some extra money, and also to loose weight so a nice packed lunch for me at work today, with actual fruit!!