So this could turn out to be the longest wedding report EVER. Its 14 pages in Office Word and that is without photos. So if you can stick with this you deserve chocolate. 

A bit of Background:

D and I went to school together and thats how we met. We’ve known each other for ten years now, and have been together for five and a half after he asked me out during our second year of A Levels. Despite going to university at opposite sides of the country we managed long distance quite well and saw each other most weekends, although it was always horrible leaving each other at the end of the weekend. During my final year at University (because I did a Masters degree) D moved down to Coventry to work and thats where I eventually moved a year ago to be with him. I’ve always felt at home with D, right from day one, and I can honestly say he’s my soulmate. He really looks after me.

We got engaged on our second anniversary under a starry sky in front of Lincoln Cathedral. There was snow on the ground the night he proposed. He knelt in a puddle and I cried all the way home...

Engagement Party April 2009:

Planning the wedding

We originally only wanted a tiny affair, I don’t like big parties and the idea of being stood up in front of so many people utterly terrified me. It took us two years to start planning our wedding, and then I was really only inspired by the Royal Wedding in 2011 as sad as it sounds. I was a bit fed up of waiting, knowing we would be moving in together later that year so in April 2011 I brought up the subject of actually booking something. Luckily for me D wasn’t opposed to the idea although he did blanche a bit at the amount of money we totted up for the budget. We had fallen in love with Rome and Italy and I was desperate to go out there and get married. When D’s dad vetoed a wedding abroad I was gutted, and we looked at lots of different options including Chester Zoo. In the end however I decided a religious ceremony and saying the same vows as our parents and grandparents was more important to me in the scheme of things than seeing elephants on my wedding day, no matter how much I might love them.

We chose to get married in the church that had been my parish church for 18 years as a child. It means a lot to me, as it is the church both of my sisters were christened in, where my primary school Christmas carol service always took place and the place where I gave my first gospel reading when I was Rose Queen when I was 11. It is a beautiful old Victorian church, built on the site of an earlier Norman church and is just stunning. It is surrounded by sheep filled fields, and has gorgeous views in all directions (if you ignore BNFL, the large nuclear plant, just next door that is...)

After that there was only really one place for us to book our wedding. We looked at a small handful of reception venues, but the one we fell in love with also had a lot of meaning for us. We chose Bartle Hall as it was the same place that our year 11 leavers ball had been held when we were in secondary school together, and it marked one of the defining moments of our then friendship. Plus it was the most beautiful one we saw. In my opinion anyway!

All that was left was to stamp our personalities all over our wedding day. I really wanted the wedding to be about US, and for people to see us reflected in every part of it. We love our afternoon teas and barbeques, and I really have a thing for photographs everywhere and bunting and flowers. We have a rubber duck collection and I decided we would have them as our cake topper, as a surprise for D, as I at first told him not to be ridiculous when he suggested it. Green is one of my favourite colours, and I’ve always preferred natural looking colour schemes which is why I chose green with pink and lavender, to reflect my favourite flowers. Finally I just wanted people to be able to see the love and care in our relationship reflected in our wedding and so I put a lot of effort into making much of the decoration myself, from stationery using photoshop, right through to bunting and painting letters, to hand tying 100 favours.

Home made decor:

And thats how we ended up with our day, our way...

I can't wait to read the rest! I've put the kettle on, and a box of choccy truffles are ready n waiting beside me 

The week before the wedding

The weekend before the wedding I worked a five day weekend, and it was lovely and sunny. I finished work on the Monday (my equivalent of Friday) and came home to D flapping about my cardboard boxes claiming they wouldn’t fit in the car. We had an almighty row about them, culminating in me telling him he could walk to Preston and I would give the cardboard box his seat instead. I spent all day Tuesday cleaning, much to D’s and my own surprise. I went through the flat top to bottom and cleaned EVERYTHING. A very unusual task for me, prompting D to ask if I was feeling ok!

We travelled home on the Wednesday and started the day with a vet related adventure. On the Tuesday evening Lily our Hamster had been a bit poorly again and so I was up at the crack of dawn to bribe her into her little hamster carrier. She quickly made it known that she HATES it, by scratching, clawing, biting, snuffing, squeaking and staring at me balefully as I drove along, willing me to let her out of the teeny tiny prison I was kidnapping her in. After another round of anti-biotics and a third vets bill that now officially makes the cost of treating her illness nine times as much as it cost to buy her from the breeder in the first place, we headed home to find D putting my plants in the bath. My work had given us a rose bush as a gift, despite not having a garden so it was now living in my bath until we got back from the wedding and I could actually do something about it.

We quickly stuffed ourselves and Lily into the car and drove to the suit shop. The lady told us a nice little story about how she had to rush order a waistcoat for us as she was one down because some plonker still hadn’t returned his, six weeks after his wedding! It was very kind of her to go so out of the way to get our order sorted for us. We hit the M6 where D drove and Lily and I promptly both fell asleep after our traumatising morning at the vets.

When we eventually reached my Mum’s house the hairdresser was waiting for me to give my hair a final tidy up and do another quick run through so D disappeared off to his parent’s house for the night. In the evening I had my eyebrows plucked and gelish nails applied, which looked absolutely faaaaabulous dahlink. I went for a French polish and they lasted brilliantly until the following Wednesday when I got thoroughly fed up of having long nails and chopped them off. £15 down the drain, literally.

Anyway, D and I decided we were going to sleep separately at each of our respective parents’ houses and i’m so glad we did. We are terrible when we have to share a duvet (at home we have a king size one EACH on our double bed!) It meant I actually got some much needed sleep and I slept slightly better than I had been doing the week previously, although still waking up very early with a mountain of stuff to do.

The Thursday was probably the most stressful day as we had to finish building the table plan, sort out gifts and pack boxes to take to the church and reception venue. I was up at the crack of dawn drawing lines on the seating plan so D knew where to cut it to size on his dad’s guillotine, and then cutting out photographs for the bridesmaid’s gifts. I was also required at the dentist’s first thing for a check up and to have my teeth scaled and polished, which I hate. It just set the day up to be a bad one to be honest, and the rest of the day ended up running behind schedule. D and I had another argument over our signing frame and some blutack which was a right debacle and was only solved once my mum hunted high and low in my sister’s room for some. I ended up sobbing by myself in the dining room whilst D was sulking outside in the garden because he wouldn’t do what I wanted him to do. It was definitely a low point. Because of the argument we then ended up being late to his parent’s house to finish off the seating plan and I had to show them what I wanted them to do and basically run out the house again for another appointment, which I found very stressful. It was difficult to let them take over something that I wanted to be so perfect. Despite that, after my appointment and wolfing down some dinner at my mum’s house I raced back there to inspect their work and found it was absolutely perfect in every way. That concluded the main part of getting everything ready for the weekend.

The finished table plan:

Friday the 24^th of August.

On the Friday it was a day of dropping stuff off and picking people up. I dashed to morrisons in the morning to get some pens for the guest book and raced to Bartle Hall to make sure I was there for 9.45 to meet D and his dad. Only they didn’t turn up till 10am, claiming I must have told them the wrong time, meaning we got mixed up with another wedding party dropping their stuff off for the Saturday as well. Either way we eventually got sorted and D and I went home to my Mum’s for a bite to eat and finish wrapping up the bridesmaid’s gifts before picking up one of my friends from the train station at 1pm.

At 3.30 we headed to the church for the rehearsal. The vicar was late and I was panicking that he had forgotten, but when he did turn up he also brought his lovely little dog with him. She had a whale of a time racing up and down the aisle and lying in front of the altar whilst we practiced our vows. At one point she was sniffing round our feet as we promised to love and to cherish which was funny because she sniffed D’s feet and gave him a very funny look before stalking off again. As we were practising the Vicar asked us to look lovingly at each other as we spoke but I ended up staring at the window behind D’s head because I didn’t want to laugh in his face. He messed up a couple of the vows and I couldn’t keep a straight face! Plus I didn’t want to ruin the emotion of Saturday by saying the vows so sincerely to each other on Friday night, it just felt silly! The Vicar said he was seriously worried that I thought I was marrying Zacharias, the saint on the window, and not D because I couldn’t look at him! Ooops! It was nice having the rehearsal though, it was quite exciting knowing that everything else was done and we were now concentrating on the really important bit. In less than 24 hours we would be doing it for real and would be husband and wife.

After this we decorated the church with bows on the ends of the pews. Well, Mum and my MoH cut the organza, and I tied the bows because they tried and they looked absolutely awful. I was quite proud of the bows and think they looked really effective and just set the church off nicely. As it is a very simple church I didn’t want anything too over the top and am glad I decided not to have any flowers. I don’t even think anyone noticed on the day! I certainly didn’t anyway.

The last big thing left to do that evening was to meet our parents and some friends and family for dinner at the local hotel where they were staying. 14 of us went for dinner and had a really good giggle and a chat. I got to spend some time with my Aunt and Uncle who wouldn’t be able to see us on the Sunday morning as they were heading home early with my MoH. I gave the ushers their instructions for the following day and had to repeat them three times to make sure it had all gone in. Mostly because SiL’s boyfriend kept letting his attention freely wander as I talked to him. MiL quizzed him at home later to triple check everything had gone in! He even owned up to not listening by saying ‘er say that again, I just zoned out.’

It was lovely getting to chat to a couple of our friends as well as we obviously knew the Saturday was going to be utterly hectic, and it meant some of my family got to meet my oldest friend. We had gone to primary school together and have been close friends for 15 years now. I love him to bits and it is so lovely to be on the receiving end of such deep affection and true friendship from such a lovely bloke. We had a little bit of a teary eye together later on in the car park when we handed him his gift and we had a big cuddle together.

After that it was time for me to head home. D dropped me off back at mum’s house so he could pick up his razor and give me one last cuddle and kiss by ourselves in private. We had a proper lovely snog in the kitchen and a big hug. It was really strange knowing we were getting married the next day, but in a surreal way. It was as if the whole thing was happening to other people and we just happened to be the people paying for it!

There were still a few bits and bobs to do in the evening like moving stuff into the right places so people didn’t have to traipse up and down the stairs. I also gave Lily the Hamster a really big smushy cuddle, and let her run around a bit. My Mum was hoovering up, which Lily didn’t like so I put her in my bra and she fell soundly asleep! I decided to get stretched out on the sofa with her down my top and I also dropped off. Until my sister came barging into the living room and made me jump so violently that I nearly fell off the chair! Lily stuck her head out of the top of my dress and squeaked so I popped her back in her cage and gave her some biscuits and decided to call it a night. D and I texted each other once or twice just before we went to bed but made sure that no texts were sent after midnight so that it wouldn’t be bad luck!

Lily the Bridesmaid hamster:

Saturday the 25^th of August, The Big Day arrives!

It took me a while to drop off to sleep on the Friday night but once I did I slept soundly for a good few hours. Until, suddenly at 5.45am I was wide awake and staring at the ceiling. I don’t know what woke me up, or why I was awake just that I was. It occurred to me that I didn’t feel particularly nervous, nor was I over excited, just a bit miffed at being awake so early. I tried to think if there was anything I could get up and do but there wasn’t, so I laid in bed facebooking, reading the news and musing over my lack of emotion, wondering if there was something wrong with me. I came to the conclusion that at that moment in time it just felt like any other Saturday morning, and the reason I wasn’t nervous was because I was SO sure that I was doing the right thing by marrying D. I passed the time by coming up with a few reasons in my head of why I love D so very much, just to doubly reassure myself that I’m not a cold hearted moo, and wondering if he was ok. Then I heard my mum get up at 7.30 and decided it would be ok for me to get up as well without worrying about waking anyone. I’m glad I actually stayed in bed relaxing for that bit of time as by the end of the day I was dead on my feet!

At 7.30 I crept through into my mum’s room and climbed into her bed whilst she was in her bathroom, so that when she came back she found me pretend snoring in the middle of her bed. She gave me a light tap on the foot and said ‘eeep! You get married today!’ We went downstairs for a cup of tea and I decided to give Mum her present when it was just the two of us. I had bought her a diamond solitaire pendant to make up for the fact that she had sold all of her diamond jewellery previously for other reasons. We had a bit of a weep together and then she went upstairs for a shower whilst I popped the television on for a bit and watched New Girl. There really wasn’t anything for me to do for a few hours other than answer the door to people, get people drinks and play with the hamster.

The hairdresser arrived at 8am to start Mum’s elaborate hair do, just as my mum stepped out of the shower upstairs so I entertained her by myself for a while. As mum came downstairs I also heard my sisters get up and it felt very strange knowing they were all busying themselves around getting ready for MY wedding. I decided then that I couldn’t wait any longer to open my gift from D, and opened up a box to reveal a beautiful pearl necklace along with a heartfelt lovely letter from D explaining why he had chosen them for me and what they meant to him. He said he had chosen them for me as he had once bought me fake pearls at the market in York and had promised that one day he would make sure I had real ones to replace them. He chose our wedding day to give me the beautiful replacement and I wept a bit. A lot actually. I had to excuse myself to the hallway for a little bit to weep in peace. He had also bought me a beautiful card from Not On the High Street with elephants on it that said ‘To my Wife on our Wedding Day’ and he had also written the most beautiful heartfelt message in there about how much he loves me which made my eyes leak a bit more.

I decided then that it was probably a good time to get the hamster sorted with her anti-biotics and some food to last her the day and night we would be away, and when I went in to her she was sitting on the side of her cage peeping out and being nosy. She made a run for it as I took the lid off her cage and so I caught her and we had a bit of a cuddle and I took her to see the hairdresser. She was very alert and nosy all morning as there were lots of people coming and going, and it was a bit like having an honorary furry bridesmaid!

It was then that my Aunt, Uncle and Maid of Honour arrived with lots of squeeling and hugging taking place. I was still feeling pretty ambivalent about the whole thing at this point, although it did hit me that all those people were travelling from around the country to be with D and I on our special day and I did start to feel a bit bubbly and nervy and excited. Plus I was very grateful to them all as well. It was as if a swell of emotion suddenly came over me. The Make-up Artist arrived at the same time and got on with her work making the girls look pretty. The hairdresser and the MUA often work together on weddings, plus i’ve known both of them for quite a while and so it was nice having friends round to share the morning with. We had a right giggle and it was lovely and girly.

Time passed much quicker than I thought it would really. I had a long leisurely shower where I scrubbed myself from head to toe, and accidentally made my face a bit pink with my exfoliating mitt. Luckily it calmed down by the time it was my turn to have my make up done later. My MiL arrived with my SiL to drop her off and I took the opportunity to ask if D was ok, as I was wondering if he was starting to feel as nervous as I was. MiL said he was fine, although his usual over the top, bouncy self, which often happens when he is a bit nervy or excited. As the bridesmaids were all being done up I gave them all their gifts, which was accompanied with lots of squeels of delight and horror! I had bought them each a toiletries bag that could be personalised. I used photos from the hen party to put in them to personalise them for each of them, and some of it was lovely and some a little embarrassing! I think they all really loved them though. At this point we were running half an hour behind schedule, I don’t know how it happened but I think it was a combination of people all turning up at different times and me running around sorting everyone else out with drinks and food. I was chattering ten to the dozen by this point as the nerves were starting to set in and I ended up gabbling almost constantly, getting myself into trouble for being a bit gobby, but mostly keeping everyone entertained. I sat down in the make up chair about ten to eleven and finally relaxed! As I sat down the sun came out making me feel much better as I had been worrying that it was going to be terrible weather wise.

For about twenty minutes I was utterly blissed out, relaxing with a glass of wine, until I realised that neither the photographer nor my Dad and Step-Mum had arrived at 11am like they were supposed to. My bridesmaid was quickly dispatched to find my phone and find out where they all were. It turned out my Dad’s sat-nav had taken him to the local train station and the TOG was en-route having been directed 25 miles away, almost at Southport, by his sat-nav. Both were now on the right route though and my Dad shortly turned up and quickly took control of everything. He got himself settled down in the living room and directed the girls from there, keeping them all entertained and putting everyone generally at ease. It was the first ever time my Dad and step-Mum had met either of my sisters and I was a bit nervous about how they would get on, but it went swimmingly and they all seemed to like each other which was a huge relief.

Gorgeous Step- Mum

And my Dad arriving:

I could finally relax properly once our TOG arrived, looking a bit hassled and stressed himself after such a huge detour! He got straight on with photographing my dress and then took some of me having my hair and make-up finished. We ended up missing out a few shots, like the bridesmaid dresses and stuff but we were all running late by this point and there was no time to wait and do them. It was a bit strange being aware of the camera but being directed not to look, to just carry on as normal.

Then the stress started again as the bridesmaids started to get ready. They all took their dresses upstairs to get changed and one by one I heard squeels of ‘oh my god.’ All of the dresses were too tight around the bust and one after the other, all four girls had their hook and eye’s ping right off the tops of the zips. I was panicking like mad that none of the dresses would do up properly, but Dad and Mum took charge again and kept them all away from me. The Make-up Artist could see how stressed I was getting and offered to sew them into the dresses if she had to. She was an absolute star, but luckily the zips stayed up and no sewing was required! The hairdresser ended up hair drying all of their armpits for them as they were sweating because they were stressed! It was quite funny, until the dresses started turning white where the sweat had been because of the salt and the deodorant.

When my make-up and hair was finally done it was time to get me into my dress. All four bridesmaids were flapping around me as the car turned up just as I stepped into my dress and they started panicking about timings. None of them could remember how to lace my dress up, nor had my Mum bothered to pay proper attention in the shop when shown and so I simply stood there holding my dress up thinking I was never going to be ready.

In stepped super-duper-hairdresser again to save the day. She laced me into my dress with some help from my wonderfully calm and collected step-mum, whilst my Dad ushered the bridesmaids out of the door and out of the way of me as I sent them off with instructions to please check D was ok. And just like that calm descended on the house and I instantly felt better.

The photographer followed the bridesmaids to the church and so it was finally just me and my parents and super-woman hair dresser. Once I was laced in and ready to go the hair dresser helped me put my shoes and veil on and I was ready. She departed and finally I had ten minutes to just chill with my Mum, Dad and Step-Mum. We stood around in the hall way, taking snaps of each other, and looking out at the lovely sunny day that seemed to be developing.

Going to the chapel and we’re gonna get married...

The car arrived right on time at 12.40 and we all traipsed outside. Some of my mum’s neighbours came out to wave at me and told me I looked lovely which was nice of them. As the chauffeur opened the door I suddenly realised I had to step up and walk across the inside of the car. I had to stand back and take a moment to work out how to do it and ended up chucking my flowers at my Dad whilst I grabbed a huge handful of skirt and scramble across the car. I just managed to turn round and slumped back into the seat in the least elegant manner ever! Mum climbed in after me and then we were off. I had to take another couple of deep breaths, partly through nerves, but mostly because all of a sudden my corset was stabbing me in the rib and it was incredibly painful!

We sat in the back making small talk and then fell silent as we ran out of things to say to each other. We were just trying to take it all in I think. As we drove along the main road lots of cars beeped at us which was quite nice, I felt a bit like a celebrity! We rounded the corner into the back lanes and then I saw the church. My heart turned over and started galloping like a flipping horse. We pulled up to the church and I saw the bridemaids, Vicar and our usher waiting for me. The chauffeur took my flowers from me and my friend helped me from the car and gave me a quick kiss telling me I looked amazing. I found it really difficult to breathe still and they all kept asking if I was ok. The vicar met me at the gate and asked if I was ok, he looked at me really intently and I said it was ok I wasn’t going to cry. He had been joking the evening before that he hoped I was going to cry because he always laughs when a bride cries because he loves a bit of drama! Ha ha.

Anyway he went off to sort himself out and we slowly made our way up the drive way. I had to stop a couple of times as I was really really struggling now, almost bursting into tears and hyperventilating. People kept trying to hug me and I just kept batting them away. I knew that once the tears started they wouldn’t stop and so I was desperately trying to hold it together. Eventually I reached the door of the church and could hear music playing.

The verger met me there and said congratulations and that I looked very pretty which was nice of her. I saw lots of people and quite a few turned round and gave me big grins, and I did my best to smile back at them. Mum grabbed my hand and I took another couple of deep breaths trying to keep control of myself. I think i said something like ‘The music is going to start playing in a second isn’t it’ and then the verger made me walk forward. The music hadn’t yet started and I ended up standing at the end of the aisle looking like an over-eager numpty. More people turned round and saw me standing there so they all stood up as I was searching for D’s face in the crowd. He turned round and saw me and then quick as lightening turned away again. He said later it was so that he didn’t ruin the sight of me walking down the aisle as he wanted that to be when he got a good look.

My arrival at the top of the aisle completely took the organist by surprise I think because he suddenly started playing the wedding march and then I was walking down it towards D. I looked at him a couple of times but mostly I was trying to keep composed and looking at other people. All I could think about was getting to D and getting hold of his hand. In fact I’m not sure but I think I might have let go of mum’s hand and jogged the last couple of paces to D’s side. I slid my hand into his and immediately felt calmer and better. Mum side-stepped my train and I handed my flowers to my MoH and then it was time to start. D squeezed my hand and grinned down at me as the Vicar started talking. I became completely unaware of everyone else really and just concentrated on what was being said.

As we went through the service it all felt rather surreal, but it was lovely having hold of D’s hand. I was very aware of the Vicar watching me intently for signs of tears or second thoughts I think. As we were saying our vows I made sure that I looked at D this time, and I’m glad I did as it felt so different to the Friday night rehearsal. When D was saying his vows he got it perfect this time and it was me who made a mess of them. I didn’t just fluff my lines, I completely failed to say one of them full stop. The vicar was saying them for me to repeat and when it came to repeat it I simply stood there, unable to comprehend what he had said and failing to put it into words. I just stood there with a slightly horrified expression according to D, as it dawned on me that I simply wouldn’t be able to repeat it! The vicar had to repeat it again, slower so I could follow it and I managed it fine the second time. Until I made the same mistake as D the night before and fluffed the til death do us part line up. Everyone had a right good giggle at that.

When it came to the rings, the best man held the little bag out and had to shake it really hard as my ring just would not come out of the bag! I had visions of it flying across the church floor and never being seen again! Eventually the Vicar took pity and fished it out of the bag himself, much to my relief. When D went to put the ring on my finger he got it as far as my knuckle and couldn’t get it any further meaning I had to try and force it on myself. It got stuck and I really struggled, I really thought it was never going to fit. As a consequence when it was my turn I rather unceremoniously shoved the ring as hard as I could onto D’s finger, causing him to jerk his hand back in shock.

Our Vicar’s homily was really lovely, and he talked about how he was relieved I had looked at D throughout our vows and what a saucy reading we had chosen with The Book of Solomon. He referred to D as a fertile gazelle which made everyone giggle quite a bit. He also had a joke about equality and feminism by pointing out that even though we believed in equality I had joined a long queue of brides who stood right in the middle of the aisle as they said their vows, pushing their poor husband to one side! I apologised profusely and moved to the left as the Vicar said ‘Thanks Sister!’ Everyone praised the Vicar after the service, saying what a brilliant job he had done. He has a bit of a reputation with some of the parish for being a bit boring and arsey but actually he was really lovely and funny and put everyone at ease.

After the signing of the registers and the final prayers and hymns it was time to leave the church and hearing The Wedding March strike up was a huge highlight of the day for me. We walked down the aisle hand in hand. Well I walked, D ran. I had to pull on his hand to slow him down so that the TOG could get some photos of us and so we could smile at our guests! As we rounded the corner of the aisle though we saw that outside it was now absolutely chucking it down with rain! My face dropped a mile and we ended up dithering on the door step. Our Dad’s ran out to the cars to grab umbrellas but then the Vicar was kind enough to offer us some time in the church doing a couple of photos in front of the Altar. I think those ones will be some of the best as part of the church where the altar is is very ornate. It was nice having the photos done and greeting our guests in the church. Everyone looked so happy and smiley and it was lovely. 

By the time we were done the rain had eased off enough for us to traipse down the path again and pose for a confetti photo. I ended up with it all in my bra, rather typically. As we were about to get into the car, I leant forward, stook my hand down my top and shook my boobs to get it all out, much to the horror of three of my male uni friends who were stood there. The poor boys didn’t know where to look!

Eat, Drink and be Merry...

I eventually managed to scramble back into the car and was handed a glass of champagne which was lovely. We didn’t drink much of it though, only a glass each. It was lovely being in the car and D kept asking me if I was happy and all we could do was grin at each other. It was the most amazing feeling, knowing that it was so happy and brilliant to just BE together. As we got to the reception the rain really picked up again and so we sat in the car for a few minutes whilst a few of our guests gathered outside, so that there were some people to help me get out. My bridesmaids helped me clamber out of the car and carry my dress to the front door, where our wedding co-ordinator and day co-ordinator met us with shrieks of delight and congratulations. It was quite nice being the first ones into the venue as we got served with drinks straight away and got to see all of our planning and hard work all set out before anybody else. The venue looked brilliant and D and I made a little detour into our reception room to have a look at it, especially the cake and the tables as we hadn’t seen either of them set up before.

D was delighted with the cake, jumping up and down like a child. We collect rubber ducks and have them all over our bathroom, so he was over the moon with the cake topper. I had managed to keep it a complete surprise from him and his huge grin made it all worth it. After this we went in to mingle with our guests and chat for a bit, enjoying our drink and saying hello to as many people as possible. The waitresses were brilliant passing around the canapés and made sure they came to me to offer them, but I only managed to get two as every time they came to me my hands were full so I couldn’t take one. Everyone tells me they were excellent though!

During the reception D and I were taken outside by the TOG as the rain had eased to a drizzle so it gave the chance to get a handful of portraits. I was walking as fast as I could in my heels and huge dress and failing miserably. I can’t walk in heels very well at all so with the added weight of my dress it was a nightmare! D ended up carrying my skirt for most of it, and at one point dropped it into a really muddy bush by accident. I shrieked and the TOG and his assistant span round thinking I was maybe on the floor but no, D was just being a numpty and I over-reacted! At that point we tried to get some photos of us stood together on the grass but because it was so wet my heels were sinking in and I literally could not stand up straight. MiL and bridesmaid were dispatched to get my flat shoes and we gave up on photos for a while because I was getting a bit bad tempered.

Then we decided that we could do the group shots indoors but with me bad tempered already and then our families dithering around I was quite ready for everyone to go away and leave me alone. I sat down in the room for the photos by myself for a minute or two and then the TOG and his assistant came and found me. We managed to get the shots we needed and by then I was ready to make a break for it. I should have hung around though whilst D’s family shots were missed because they missed one or two out that D wishes they’d got now. Oh well, I was busy having fun and not being photographed for a change!

By that time my SiL and one of my sisters appeared at my elbow telling me I should probably go to the loo now whilst it was fairly quiet. I’m so glad they made me as it turned out I was a bit desperate and it took a good ten minutes to go to the loo! First there was negotiating with them how we were going to do it, as I didn’t want anyone in the bathroom with me (too weird, I hate going to the loo with other girls) So I went in by myself, managed to go to the loo and get my knickers back on, then I had to get my SiL to put my rather attractive white shorts back on for me, whilst my sister held my dress up. By then my dress was also starting to slip so they redid the lacing for me, and managed to get my boobs back under some sort of control.

By the time we made it back downstairs I was able to have a quick two minute conversation with some friends before I was told the rain had stopped again and could we get some more photos of D and I. By this point I stopped caring about getting my dress wet and muddy which is just as well because the grass was soaking and so I just merrily dropped the train and let the TOG take the necessary pictures. Within about five minutes though it was chucking it down and we had to make another dash inside.

The afternoon tea was ready by this point and all looked wonderful laid out on a long table. All of our guests were asked to make their way to the dining room and I ended up stood alone with the TOG and our co-ordinator waiting for D and wondering where on earth he’d gone. I’d only seen him about two minutes previously. Turned out he had gone with the guests to sit down because he was hungry and couldn’t wait to get started. He had to be brought back out again so we could walk into the dining room as Man and Wife! The afternoon tea went down a treat and was absolutely delicious, although by that point I was being stabbed in the rib again by my corset and I could barely breath. My step-mum had to take me out to the corridor and undo and redo my dress again as the bridesmaids had done it up too tight. I was practically hyperventilating with trying to catch my breath! After Step-Mum had redressed me it was much easier to breath and I managed to get through the rest of the meal in the barest of discomfort.

The speeches were all brilliant and my mum did a great job. She had been really nervous about her speech but she made everyone laugh, and there were a couple of little tears too. She thoroughly embarrassed me, but in a good way which was lovely. D’s speech was so much nicer than I was expecting. I had warned him that it was not an opportunity to take the mick out of me for ten minutes and in the end he only spoke about how much he loves me and how we met. Our best man was very nervous about his speech, he’s not a very good public speaker but he was funny and sweet and said how much he loves us both which so lovely of him. We did the obligatory cake cutting, and everyone said how lovely they thought our cake and cake topper was. We spent a bit of time explaining to people about the ducks and when people understood they thought it was really good.

After the meal we went with our guests back into the bar and had a bit of a chat, but really decided we wanted ten minutes to ourselves and so we nipped upstairs for a little bit. We had a little kiss and cuddle and a giggle and sat on our four poster pretending we were really posh and it was one of my favourite parts of the day. If we’d had it our way we would have just stayed up there but we had to get back to our guests and so we headed back downstairs for a chat and a drink. I ended up wedged on the sofa with some of my friends and I literally couldn’t get back up. It took one pulling and one pushing and one holding my skirt to get me off  the low sofa!

The rain had finally stopped for good again this time and so people got our giant bubble wands out and we have some really good photos of our friends and cousins playing with them. I saw D run past the door like a giant child with the bubble wand at one point, but I couldn’t get out of the sofa to join them! We had a few more photos taken at that point but really it was just a handful. By that time I was a bit fed up of having my photos taken and I think the TOG realised that so he got on with photographing the guests.

All singing, all dancing....

The hour and a half passed really quickly and it was time for our first dance together as husband and wife. Everyone took a seat at the tables and was preparing to watch us shuffle around the floor to some really soppy love song. So the DJ insisted people got up and watched up at the dance floor as they wouldn’t want to miss this. We took our positions on the dance floor and then the music started playing. We were greeted with shrieks of delight and laughter as In the Mood by Glenn Miller started playing and we whirled and danced our way around the dance floor. Everyone thought we had taken dance lessons, as D is a notoriously BAD and reluctant dancer, but we hadn’t, we had just had a drunken, giggly practice on the previous New Years Eve in our own living room. We were thrilled with people’s reactions and even more so when the dance floor filled for our second dance to Five Years Time by Noah and the Whale.

From then on, the evening do was in full swing and we had an absolutely brilliant time! We originally weren’t going to have an evening do and we booked one of the cheaper DJ’s on purpose because we didn’t think many people would get up and dance. But in the end we were both so glad we had an evening do, and the DJ was absolutely brilliant. He played request after request, kept the music at a manageable level and was funny and lovely all evening. It was brilliant seeing everyone so happy and having such a good time. Some of the highlights of the evening included D being given a pink tutu which was originally intended for his stag do. He wore it all night and looked so funny! Him and his mates were jumping around the dance floor all night and D managed to break the chandelier over the dance floor at one point, but the co-ordinator wasn’t bothered and said she had seen worse happen. There was lots of silly dancing going on, and D picked up his sisters boyfriend and span him around, and then had a rather silly dance with our other usher, and did a sort of dirty dancing style dance with him. Much later on in the evening I was sat at a table with my friends when a Meatloaf song came on and we heard a shriek from outside. When I looked around D was running across the room in his pink tutu, hurdling chairs and tables shouting ‘WAIT FOR MEEEEEEE.’

By the time it came to the BBQ most of our friends were pleasantly sozzled, including my sister and one of our uni friends. But the BBQ went down well and everyone really enjoyed the food. Because I was too busy chatting to people I barely got a chance to eat anything, and was told off by both my aunt and my dad. In the end my Dad forced me to sit down with some food, but I was so tired and over excited by that time that I was barely able to eat and only managed to force down one hot dog and two boiled potatoes. The most expensive Hot Dog I’ve ever eaten! Ha ha. Around 9.30 I was just about ready to go to bed and wanted everyone to go home then, I’d been up since 5.45 and was dead on my feet. But my dad bought me a couple of orange juices and made me sit quietly and I sort of got a second wind then and was back on the dance floor and mingling with the guests. Around 10.30 most of D’s family and a handful of our friends left and my Grandma went upstairs to bed, which was ok. We were expecting D’s family to leave early as they aren’t really big party people, but it meant that our friends could get a bit more rowdy and silly. In between dances I ended up having to stand outside for long lengths of time because I was just so hot! In fact at one point, D and some of his mates joined us outside and steam was literally pouring off them. It was so weird!

Eventually people started to head off about midnight and D and I had our final dance to Tale as old as time, from Beauty and The Beast which was lovely. It was the only slow dance we’d had all evening and it was really nice to be able to cuddle. Although rather sticky as he was really quite disgustingly sweaty by then and I hate it when people are wet through with sweat. After that we sat in the bar with the remainder of our guests, waiting for their taxis to arrive, but many of them were delayed because a tree had come down right outside the hotel! It meant that many of the taxis were having to double back on themselves and go around through the village to get back to the hotel to pick up the people. Finally the last lot of guests left at 12.50 am and it was just D and myself and our parents and sisters. I had thoroughly had enough by that point and even though I was really proud of myself for making it right to the end (an absolute first!) I insisted that D and I went up to bed as I’d been awake for 20 hours.

When we got to our room, it was ever so romantic. D unlaced my dress and I bolted straight for the bathroom to have a wee! I’d been holding on since 7.30 in the evening and was pretty desperate by then. After i’d had a wee I inspected the damage left by the broken bone in my corset and I had a huge bruised graze on my rib under my right boob that was incredibly painful. I also thought I had bruises all over my stomach but it turned out to just be crushed petal confetti! It was all over the inside of my dress which is now stained a weird purple-greenish colour. We decided to hop into the shower together which was nice, although the water was scalding hot and it wouldn’t change! Then we crawled into bed and had a cup of horlicks each whilst chatting about the day. I also checked facebook to see what people had said about the wedding and found out that my cousin and his wife had taken delivery of their brand new baby son on the 24^th of August. My MoH (the sister of the cousin in question) and their parents had known all about it but had told no one so that it didn’t take away from our day. We were both thrilled however, to be honoured to share our weekend with such a special and beautiful little boy and it finished off the day perfectly before we both fell into an exhausted deep sleep!

Good morning Husband, Good morning Wife.

On the Sunday morning we both woke up feeling surprisingly refreshed after a good 6 and a half hours sleep and we had a lovely little cuddle in bed, calling each other husband and wife. We got up and had another shower together, this time a freezing cold one because the hot water wouldn’t work. We headed down to breakfast with family and some of the guests from the night before came back to eat with us which was nice. Then we all headed home to D’s parent’s house for tea and cake. A couple of my uni friends came with us and we passed a couple of hours chatting, opening presents and reliving the day.

Later in the afternoon D and I went and checked into our posh hotel for the night, a gift from D’s parents.When we arrived at the hotel the receptionist said congratulations to us and asked if we had had a good wedding which baffled us a bit as we hadn’t told them it was to celebrate our wedding. D sent me ahead up the stairs whilst he arranged a little surprise for me and when we got to our room I opened the door to find balloons and confetti everywhere. Which was lovely only it wasn’t the surprise D had organised at all and he was a little bit put out that I had noticed what his parents had left for us, but hadn’t noticed what he had done. When I did eventually notice, he had bought us a bottle of lovely expensive champagne and five minutes later there was a knock at the door. The waitress was carrying a tray loaded with strawberries, fresh clotted cream, brown sugar and freshly melted chocolate. It was absolutely phenomenal! We cracked open the champagne and got stuck into the strawberries which were delicious.

The room itself was absolutely AMAZING. It had the biggest bed we had ever seen and brilliant views over the Ribble Estuary. We spent some hours opening the hundreds of cards we had received and drinking the champagne, then in the evening went for a walk and a played a few rounds of crazy golf. This was a real treat as normally I’m banned from playing by D because all I do is cheat. But as a concession to his being nice and letting me play and also in honour of just being married, I was good and only cheated a little bit. We had a right giggle because the champagne had gone straight to both of our heads, and then we had a lovely little moonlit walk around the formal gardens.

This is how big the bed was, for reference D is 6'4".

When we got back to the hotel we ordered tapas room service and headed back upstairs. We got into our jammies and had a cuddle on the sofa whilst waiting for dinner to arrive and when it did it was the best thing we’d ever eaten! We were both a bit tipsy and absolutely starving by that point but the food was incredible and it was lovely looking out over the moonlit estuary and chattering together.

We slept really well again that night, although in the morning I woke up and wondered where D had gone. Only to find that because the bed was so big we were sleeping so far apart we had to stretch to touch each other! We had the most amazing breakfast and checked out of our hotel, really happy and chirpy. I’m so glad we stayed at the hotel, it gave us some much needed time together and was the perfect end to a brilliant weekend.

Some things I never want to forget about our wedding day:

Being surrounded by my sisters and being so happy when we were getting ready.

The look on D’s face as I walked up the aisle.

The best man being asked  to prove to the Vicar that he actually had the wedding rings in his pocket.

The feeling I got when D said his vows to me, knowing he meant them, and when he put my ring on my finger.

Kissing D in the doorway of the church as the rain poured outside.

The look on D’s face when he saw the cake topper.

How happy all of our guests were.

Our first dance, twirling each other around and being the centre of each other’s attention.

Snuggling together on the bed in our room.

My parents all getting on so well together.

Watching D not understand the photographer’s directions about looking away and then back to him and how confused his face was.

Our slow dance at the end of the night.

Waking up as Mr and Mrs Irrelephant for the very first time.

Being together at our posh hotel the next day.

The End.

Hope you made it to the end, and if not I hope you at least enjoyed the photos! thanks to everyone who i've made friends with here who were so lovely and supportive and thanks to all the suppliers from here who helped me as well.

Mrs Irrelephant x

Just looked at your photographers site. He's bloody good value isn't he?!

Super fantastic. Brilliant report Irrelephant. Loved your pictures, congratulations.

Gorgeous photos!! Will come back and read it all later when kids or sorted and I don't get disturbed!!

Lovely report.  Fab pictures.  You looked gorgeous.  Congratulations to you both.

Love the report but I don't have any chocolate

I am a bit disappointed that there are no proper pictures of Lilly though!!

Fantastic...took me awhile but I read it all. You know already that I love the photo's, but Ilove reading about your day combined with pictures, fabulous. Congrats DWC