Can't figure out how to post a normal reply lol
thank you for all the thoughts and feedback. It has given me plenty to think about.
I have never been one for fuss or attention so was also after a day that reflected that, however it had turned into a wedding where the budget was £18000!! We all know everybody goes over budget so we're taking more like £20k for 1 day!
Yet none of the money was being spent on things we wanted. All seemed to be around 'pleasing the guests' and 'did it meet family expectations'. I felt that this is the one day where every decision should be about me and OH, yet we weren't making any decision for us, all to 'impress family'.
I fully understand this is a family day, therefore i feel family should be happy with just being there, not who's got what presents, and if the food is good enough (3 courses £65 a head and my mum moaned at the sample meal!!)
thank you for your comments, i think i meal after the wedding is the best route to go down. whether we have one or 2 is a different matter lol