MoB MoG at your hen do??

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Not mean to not invite her but it will need to be handled tactfully. I discouraged my mother from hen do by exaggerating the amount of shenanigans that would be had and organising a weekend away for us (London, show, etc). You could do similar? I can't imagine my MIL even asking or wanting to have come on my hen weekend - she's good fun but she knows it's not her place!

I wont be inviting my mum on my main hen do, which is likely to be a very boozy weekend in blackpool.I couldnt relax and be my normal drunken self around her! FMIL wouldnt even ask to come. I hope my mum doesnt get offended, I may do something else with her, my aunty, cousins and BM's - I have one BM who wont be coming to blackpool as she;s a born again christian and doesnt drink so it could be for her too.

I was invited to our daughter's but didn't really want to 'cramp her style' for want of a better phrase!  She also had two hen do's - one in Amsterdam which was a 'burlesque' dress up do with the girls and a night in Leeds after for people who couldn't make Amsterdam.  Both me and Groom's Mum went on the Leeds one and had a great time but Amsterdam dressed up in burlesque gear....?  not really for me!!!  

the only reason my mama isnt coming on my hen do is cos she can out drink me and I worry about her when she is rat-arsed!

I am going to have a calmer, more sedate meal out with those who dont fancy the main thing.

I am planning on having a quieter Friday night and sensible Saturday morning activity that my mum and mil can partake in- ie posh dinner and then if we do the races they can come all day, or if not they can go after lunch on the Saturday, then the real fun can begin on the sat night, I want them to be included but I also want to let my hair down with my girls. I will also have an afternoon tea party nearer the wedding that my teenage future step daughter can come to, don't want her left out. I think it is wrong of her to think she would be invited but I would do a tamer event the mob mog could attend as well. 

I don't think you're being mean in not asking her.  Only you know whether she would 'fit in' with both the activities and other people going, so you are best placed to make that decision. 

It seems to be just as common to invite MOB/MOG as to not invite them from what I see on here.  My friend had her MOB/MOG at her hen do and it was fine (though they left the evening bit earliest!) and I didn't have MOB/MOG at my own, which again was fine. 

 

I think it's a bit rude of anyone to presume they are coming (and then to throw a strop when they discover they are not!!) and in this sense your MIL has only set herself up for disappointment.  It's your hen night and it's up to you who goes.  I agree you need to try and be tactful about it though.  Perhaps tell her that you were limited on numbers or trying to keep numbers down to make logistics easier?

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I didn't invite my mum, FMIL or step mum but my dad spoke to me about it... Saying I should have. I didn't want them there and don't think they would have wanted to come so didn't ask them but I guess it was wrong of me to assume. It was too late by this point but if I were to go back in time I would have either invited them and hope they couldn't come(!) or do something low key for them to attend... But to be honest, my mum and step mum in a room together probably wouldn't be much fun!!!

I didn't have either, and I don't think they even thought about wanting to come.  My mum is awesome, but she's 63 and lives 4 hours away from me, so coming down to London for a boozy weekend and a trip to a burlesque club was not really something she'd be interested in.  MiL is also great, but it wouldn't have been her thing at all.

It's a shame your FMIL has got so upset about this, but I don't think you should be pressured into inviting her, just explain the situation tactfully.

I'm having a spa weekend with my 3 bridesmaid and my Mom - hadn't even thought of inviting my FMIL, she's not really had anything to do with the planning so far and I think honestly she'll moan to my OH either way - if she gets invited, she'll come, but she probably won't join in, and if she's not invited, she'll want to know why. Maybe I'm just overthinking. But at the end of the day, I want to relax and enjoy myself on my hen, not be worrying about if FMIL is having a good time/feeling comfortable etc etc. Maybe selfish, maybe bridezilla, but please don't judge me...

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Im not inviting the mums to mine as it isnt really their thing. They would much prefer to just have a meal all together..it does mean we cant talk about wedding stuff that H2B isnt supposed to know although we could sneak off for some girl time to go over stuff like that.

 

It's difficult cos my h2b is having a big lads day out and inviting every male that's coming to the wedding, including our dads, but there's no WAY I'm having my FMIL (or even my own mother come to think of it) at my hen do, so I'm having a very small affair with my close friends. If people start assuming that they're coming to mine because of his, well that's their problem!!

i'm thinking about having 2 events as well. I suppose it is easier for me as I dont really drink so would not really be up for a massive night out ( don't get me wrong - I am up for going out to a club or something but I dont plan on getting extremely drunk!) but would like a night out with friends/ work colleagues etc.  I am thinking of perhaps going to a show in london and dinner with MOB and FMIL as well as BM and aunties/cousins. We all get on well and it would be nice to spend some time with them. I will then have a dinner and evening out which will be open to friends but would not expect MOB or FMIL to attend!