four weeks to go, slight rant..

We booked our wedding in January 2011 and I can't believe it's finally the month we get married, I'm so excited!!  Only a slight problem...

I decided in the beginning to only have one bridesmaid to keep costs down mainly - my sister who's four years younger than me.  We found the perfect dress back in July 2011, last one in her size (size 8) so bought it and told her she was not to put any weight on, but since she's always been a size 8 didn't really think it'd be a problem.  September 2011 she tells us she's pregnant.  I was not impressed (for many other, non wedding related reasons!) and baby was due 1 May 2012.  I thought eight weeks would be plenty of time for her to get back into shape but first, the baby (who I love to bits :)) was late, was born on 17 May, she was a huuuuge baby.. Well my impatience got the better of me this week - I asked her to try the dress on to see how close it was, and the answer is, it's massively not fitting :| 

I know I sound totally selfish and like a spoilt brat, but I don't know what to do! I've looked in Debenhams (where the dress is from) and they've not got any left and all the accessories and in fact, our entire colour theme are based on this dress as it's the first thing I bought!  Also, the fact that I don't have a spare £100odd in my budget to buy another, and to be honest, don't see why I should!  My sister and I have always been close, and I know her new baby is the most important thing to her, but she isn't really too concerned, and I don't need to start panicking now!! It's also my hen tonight, and I'm not really in the mood now.... 

Sorry, just needed to get this off my chest..

Perhaps you can sell the dress to make some money back? And in the meantime keep your eye out for something that would work as a replacement. What colour/style are you looking for?

Do you have a flash of the dress? Some people are more lucky than others at losing the pregnancy belly - I left the hospital in my pre-pregnancy jeans! In what ways does it not fit?

ooooohh! what are you doing for your hen? I bet you'll gradually get more excited throughout the day! x

She isn't going to get in the dress at this stage, so don't waste time and emotion on it, make a practicle plan. Sell the dress and buy one less expensive, ask her if she can contribute to the cost, or get a dressmaker to look at letting it out. I bought this this week off Amazon and I love it http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B003ROUDAS/ref=oh_details_o02_s00_i00 only £30, there are lots of variations and the skirt is fully lined with a net hem, it doesn't really need a net skirt, I will be buying one of the other patterns soon. It arrived in 3 days and is good to size.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s?ie=UTF8&search-type=ss&index=clothing&field-keywords=Pretty%20Kitty%20Fashion

I don't know how to flash on here, it's dark purple and mid calf length, I love it! :(

and it's just her tummy, but the zip really won't close, even half way, I'm just not sure how long to leave it before I have to drag her out to look for something else.

We're doing cocktail classes, followed by a mini bar crawl, then a meal then maybe further bars, see how it goes :)

Is it strapless? Do u think it would be possible to add a panel of material down the side- a bride in here showed how they had done this to her BM dress when they found out she was expecting and no one could tel it wasnt supposed to be like that! Suppose it depends on the material etc? Could u post a link to the dress? x x

Have you had a look on eBay? I got one of mine from there, as my dresses were from an outlet so there were no more sizes available. Here are some ive found:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Debenhams-Debut-Cadburys-Purple-Prom-Bridesmaid-dress-Size-12-worn-once-/140763387721?pt=UK_Women_s_Dresses&hash=item20c626d749

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/debut-Debenhams-mauve-Purple-bride-bridesmaid-prom-ball-evening-10-12-/170851176490?pt=UK_Women_s_Dresses&hash=item27c786102a

Also, is it anywhere near to fitting? how about those spanx things that suck you in?

is it this one

lannybird:

I thought eight weeks would be plenty of time for her to get back into shape but first, the baby (who I love to bits :)) was late, was born on 17 May, she was a huuuuge baby.. Well my impatience got the better of me this week - I asked her to try the dress on to see how close it was, and the answer is, it's massively not fitting :| 

Eight weeks to get back into shape?? I think that's a bit much to expect even with the baby being born on time... but that is not the point I suppose.

I'm sure there must be another dress you can find that's not £100 - if it is similar to that purple one above then there are an awful lot of dresses like that about.  You'll find something - scour ebay, amazon, etc if you have to.  Failing that, is there anyone she could borrow something from?

With respect to the dress, if you flash what you're looking for I bet folks on here will be pleased to help find something reasonably priced.  All my BMs' dresses were significantly under £100, generally ranging in the £35-40 mark.  You can get really nice dresses for not too much.  But, as far as the cost, I'd be of the opinion that your sister needs to chip in.  I don't know what her financial situation is, but IMO, ultimately it's her responsibility that she became pregnant.  I'm having a similar situation with one of my BMs where she insisted on purchasing a smaller size and swore she'd lose the weight.  There's a month now until the wedding and she won't even let me see the dress on her (because I think it won't zip up), and she doesn't seem to be getting any smaller. 

I can't ask her for money, her partner was put out of work a few weeks before baby arrived and she had money issues before she got pregnant.

I've found a picture of the dress online, it fitted her just perfectly when we bought it :( 

http://budgetsavvybride.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/debspurpledress3.png

LeedsBride:

Have you had a look on eBay? I got one of mine from there, as my dresses were from an outlet so there were no more sizes available. Here are some ive found:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Debenhams-Debut-Cadburys-Purple-Prom-Bridesmaid-dress-Size-12-worn-once-/140763387721?pt=UK_Women_s_Dresses&hash=item20c626d749

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/debut-Debenhams-mauve-Purple-bride-bridesmaid-prom-ball-evening-10-12-/170851176490?pt=UK_Women_s_Dresses&hash=item27c786102a

 

Also, is it anywhere near to fitting? how about those spanx things that suck you in?

it's the top one! I just don't know how much she's gonna lose and because it's only her stomach if I got a bigger size it'd be massive at the top and look daft.  Although I suppose I could ask a seamstress at the bridal shop to take it in then... Thanks for the replies ladies :)

lannybird:

I know I sound totally selfish and like a spoilt brat, but I don't know what to do! I've looked in Debenhams (where the dress is from) and they've not got any left and all the accessories and in fact, our entire colour theme are based on this dress as it's the first thing I bought!  Also, the fact that I don't have a spare £100odd in my budget to buy another, and to be honest, don't see why I should!  My sister and I have always been close, and I know her new baby is the most important thing to her, but she isn't really too concerned, and I don't need to start panicking now!! It's also my hen tonight, and I'm not really in the mood now.... 

Sorry, just needed to get this off my chest..

You didn't sound that selfish until this paragraph. You have a beautiful new baby in the family, your sister is coping with being a new Mum and all you can do is say 'Why should I buy another dress for her?', because she didn't meet your deadline for losing weight.

The dress doesn't fit so you just need to deal with that. You are lucky - you only have one BM to re-dress; it would be worse if she were one of a group, where an odd dress would stick out. Sell what you have and take her shopping, she might appreciate a but of fun!

ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown:

You didn't sound that selfish until this paragraph. You have a beautiful new baby in the family, your sister is coping with being a new Mum and all you can do is say 'Why should I buy another dress for her?', because she didn't meet your deadline for losing weight.

The dress doesn't fit so you just need to deal with that. You are lucky - you only have one BM to re-dress; it would be worse if she were one of a group, where an odd dress would stick out. Sell what you have and take her shopping, she might appreciate a but of fun!

I know, it's a little bit of me stamping my foot because my plans have been changed due to something out of my control.  I'm a slight control freak

You expected her to lose all her baby weight in 8 weeks? A bit harsh and unrealistic don't you think?

You only have one bridesmaid to find a dress for - you can easily do this for less than £50.

To be honest, you should have thought about this when she first got pregnant and returned her other dress with a view to buying a new one after the baby was born.

Can you return the dress to Debenhams? They might give you vouchers that you can spend on a new dress.