i think i need to say something

as some people are letting their wedding planning get out of perspective.

please just remember why your getting married and to whom.

who cares if your great aunt mary cant make it

or if the flowers you want arnt in season

no one will notice if the ribbon doesnt match the chair covers

if your worried about the weather being bad, go abroad

if your worried about a the world cup or the olympics ruinign your wedding, change your date.

your making it hard work for yourselves for no reason.

dont let the wwedding become more than the marriage.

please all the people moaning about their mums outfit or their mil's input, spare a thought for the people who dont have their parents at their wedding, who would kill to hear their mum moan about the colours !

Please really think about these things. its a party. its about the marriage. every time your about to spend another £20 on somethign no one will notice how about you and h2b go out for a drink, or cinema because that will definatley be money well spent, no one will notice that you put diamontes inside the flowers, or you put tealights around your cake.

im probably going to get slated for this and i dont really mind, but i also think i may have put things into perspective for some.

THANK YOU !!!

Don't worry, I feel the same. As long as you're married at the end of the day & your friends and family have had a great time, nothing else really matters. Yes it's nice to plan the 'perfect' day but its easy to let it get out of hand & people end up with something that's stressing & not really true to themselves.

I think there is a fine balance - people are entitled to their 'big day' if that's what they want. I do agree that a lot of people do seem to be missing the point though.

Any topic that has the phrase "I just want to check I'm not being a bridezilla????" means they probably are....

Whilst I do agree with you and a reminder is useful, this is also just a wedding planning forum. And if you can't moan/ask questions about the small details of planning a wedding on here, then where can you?

Granted at the end of the day it doesn't matter, but I personally still want to *plan* something where the details are as I want them - where the ribbons match and where all my great aunties can attend. It doesn't mean that I don't spend quality time with my OH or fail to recognise that this is only a marriage with a party. I also don't think moaning about something small means that you don't appreciate your close friends and family. Personally I think you can enjoy planning your wedding down to the finest detail, and keep it in perspective in real life too.

schiocco:

Whilst I do agree with you and a reminder is useful, this is also just a wedding planning forum. And if you can't moan/ask questions about the small details of planning a wedding on here, then where can you?

Granted at the end of the day it doesn't matter, but I personally still want to *plan* something where the details are as I want them - where the ribbons match and where all my great aunties can attend. It doesn't mean that I don't spend quality time with my OH or fail to recognise that this is only a marriage with a party. I also don't think moaning about something small means that you don't appreciate your close friends and family. Personally I think you can enjoy planning your wedding down to the finest detail, and keep it in perspective in real life too.

I totally agree with this. 

I don't think I was ever a horrible bridezilla (at least I hope not) but I did let myself get sucked into all the WP hype. Not as bad as some but a bit nevertheless. Stuff that I would normally not bother about was really stressing me out and although I'm by no means a perfectionist I wanted to get everything done as nicely as possible and have a few handmade things that most other people wouldn't even notice. I wanted to make sure the details were all sorted and the seating plan drove me crazy in case certain groups of people who didn't get on were sat with each other and caused a scene. And I wanted to make sure I didn't offend my extended family by not including them in the day and, and, and....

... On the day I didn't give a CR*P about any of that stuff, I was just glad I was getting to marry the man I love...and I'm so much happier now that I don't have a bleedin' wedding to plan!!

Until the day, the planning for me is the fun part, there are a lot of things to stress about in life and i personally am loving thinking about trivial things like if my flowers will match my bridesmaids toenails. This is a wedding forum for people to ask questions, share ideas and have a moan or ask for reassurance. This doesnt mean their marriages are any less significant. I dont plan a lot of events (none infact) so i do want to make the day special and how i want it. This doesnt mean i love my OH any less than if i was not planning a big party? As for being sympathetic to others without parents, if everyone kept quiet about anything that might offend someone, no one would ever say anything as someone is always going to be offended (especially on here lately!)

Not entirely sure which thread(s?) has provoked your need to say something, but think we all lose pespective to others on some points of any occasions. That is to say what is important to you might be banal to myself, and vice versa.

It's a wedding planning forum. If people can't b*tch occasionally or gauge response here where are they to go? I know I haven't got anyone to ask my marital yawnfest questions to in real life...

ETA: Re read your original comments. Prehaps steer clear of parental threads if you're feeling a little sensitive to them at the moment. There's a couple of topics I steer clear of as they usually end up making my blood boil!

mrsrawe2b:

please all the people moaning about their mums outfit or their mil's input, spare a thought for the people who dont have their parents at their wedding, who would kill to hear their mum moan about the colours !

I can relate to both sides of this. When Mr RB's ma was first diagnosed, it was difficult to read all the negative MIL threads, as we weren't even sure she would make it to our wedding. Thankfully, things are looking okish on that front at the moment.

On the other hand, in the last few months my own mother has become an absolute nightmare, trying to completely take over the planning and is causing me and Mr RB a great deal of stress, when we are both already under stress about other things. Sometimes we need to let off steam here and ask for advice on how best to tackle certain situations. 

IshouldCoco:

ETA: Re read your original comments. Prehaps steer clear of parental threads if you're feeling a little sensitive to them at the moment. There's a couple of topics I steer clear of as they usually end up making my blood boil!

 

IshouldCoco:

wedding planning forum. If people can't b*tch occasionally or gauge response here where are they to go? I know I haven't got anyone to ask my marital yawnfest questions to in real life...

Exactly, I stay away from things that might get me annoyed! Somethimes I wish me and OH would just do it and not tell anyone until after as everyine wants to change our plans!

x

schiocco:

Whilst I do agree with you and a reminder is useful, this is also just a wedding planning forum. And if you can't moan/ask questions about the small details of planning a wedding on here, then where can you?

WSS.

& like the others have said avoid the threads that will annoy if you have things going on in your personal life, I don't tend to read the parent ones as it annoys me when people are moaning about their parents but they are paying for the whole thing!

I also relate to both sides, on the one hand perspective is great and we do all need a kick up the behind sometimes, on the other side we all have 'moments' and need to feel free to rant and rave and ask whatever silly questions we may think of.

It's also difficult for newbies sometimes I think who may not have seen previous threads on a subject before so we might be bored by answering the same thing over and over but its the first time for them.

mrsrawe2b:

please all the people moaning about their mums outfit or their mil's input, spare a thought for the people who dont have their parents at their wedding, who would kill to hear their mum moan about the colours !

If I were to 'spare a thought' for every single possible situation like that then I'd never be able to post - I don't have my dad anymore, my brother is walking me down the aisle - does it affect me when people squee about their dad giving them away and the speech he will make and a father/daughter dance? Nope, I'm happy for them!

If it's plain to see there is a rant about a mother/mil/sore subject then surely skip past that thread and read another?

I agree there are some people that over analyse things do to with the day but just because I don't have my dad anymore doesn't mean I want to tell people not to post about it or to think extra hard about it before they post. It's their day, they want to talk about it, that's what forums are all about! 

Yea i think every post so far has valid points.

I think it is important just to be true to yourselves, every decision my OH and i have made have been things that we wanted to do not because we want OUR day filled with OUR favourite things not trying to please everyone else as neither of us want to look back and have any regrets, OUR day is going to be a celebration of us and the things we love.