Ok, I had a rant a few months ago over at http://www.hitched.co.uk/chat/forums/p/298606/2800668.aspx#2800668 as my brother is generally a muppet and we have fallen out. Now, since we have fallen out I have sent gifts to my nieces on their birthdays and card to him on his. In return I've had messaged passed back about how it's all down to me to call (so he can tell me off and hang up on me). I'm really not interested in doing that and I think I've already made the first move BUT get this....yesterday I get a message (and this is the first I have every heard this) saying how it was my fault he moved out of home at such a young age (apparantly this led to his downfall...) and he blames me for ruining everything/his life.
It's worth noting this was 24 years ago and I was NINE years old. So a very, very long grudge and well, I find it a bit worrying that he's still clinging to it and I really do wonder about his mental health.
Anyway, because of this fresh/vintage grudge I'm really worried about inviting him to the wedding. I don't want him there by any means and I know he won't come (unless he gets wind of me not wanting him there!) and I can guarantee he won't RSVP but everyone else thinks there's a small chance he will turn up if he's asked. I'm worried that he will come along and try to ruin the day, pick fights and generally be the little boy he's always been BUT I feel I have to invite him as I want my nieces to know I wanted them there and that I haven't forgotten about them/stopped loving them just because their Dad hates the World (and seemingly me since i was nine!). Really the sole purpose of sending it would be so they know they weren't forgotten (quote "I'm going to turn the girls against her").
Also, everyone else in the family thinks I should send it so my conscience is clear and I know I've done all I can to rise above it.
OH and I were 100% certain we would send an invite until the lastest tirade of
hate came my way but now he's adamant it's a no or at least a no until it's
too late for my loving brother to save/book accommodation.
So, question...would you send an invite and take the teeny (and I mean teeny) chance he will turn up and act the a*se or would you not issue one at all and just hope that one day you get to explain to the kids that it wasn't because you didn't love them?
I reckong you'll all say 'don't send it' but I will feel terrible if the girls are left thinking "auntie X hates us"!